Bloodlines: Rebirth
by steffy2106
Summary: You guys requested so here it is. My version of Bloodlines. Sydney, Adrian, Jill, Eddie...and a lot more. Read and review pretty please :P
1. Chapter 1

**A.N: **Hey guys! See I did it! I received a lot of private messages asking me to write my own version of Bloodlines and I said I might do it once my novel is done. The first draft is done so here chapter 1 of_ Bloolines_. I'm very busy at work so I might only be updating once a week but I promise you to do my best to update as soon as possible.

This story has no beta so please don't be too hard and don't forget to review…you know I love that right?

_Disclaimer_ i do not own the VA world or it;s characters...i only wish i did.

Steffy2106.

**Chapter 1: **

I groaned hearing the shrieking sound of my alarm clock and closed my eyes tighter. I was not the one to linger in bed, I never was, but today would be the first day of my doom.

I sighed turning around to turn off the alarm and quickly checked the time. We had to leave in two hours….Today was my first day of my senior year in that silly posh private school in California.

I still couldn't believe the punishment my own people imposed on me….forcing me to live with those Moroi for a while and I had to do a senior year even if I was already 18. They told me I took the side of a dhampir instead to side with my 'family', but the worse is that if I was to do it again, I would do exactly the same things. I did what was right, what God would have wanted me to do. Rose was my friend, she needed me…it was as simple as that but still…

"Why are you making everything so hard?" I whispered to God, touching the golden cross around my neck.

I had to spend at least a year here with Jill, her guardian Eddie and the anti-Christ personified….Also known as Adrian Ivashkov, or Lestat as far as I was concerned.

I didn't even know why he bothered to come with us, I didn't want that…I had put my foot down but it was not like I had anything to say in the matter, I was being punished and my vote didn't count.

Lissa had thought it was a good thing for Adrian to come with us, he could be seen by the school as being Jill tutor and big brother since she was still a minor…He even promised to go back to school and was registered to UCLA, I thought it was only pretense…I would believe it when I would actually see him pick up a book that was not a playboy or hustler. But what she decided was law…she was their Queen after all.

We moved in the huge penthouse a couple of weeks ago, it was so big that I could avoid them most of the time but now I couldn't anymore. And the security was top of the line.

I took a quick shower, put on the first pair of dressing pants I found and a yellow button down shirt and tightened my hair in my usual tight bun.

"Do you want something?" asked Eddie, the dhampir guardian, as I walked in the kitchen. He was preparing what looked like an omelet. "It's not poisoned I promise."

I pursed my lips pouring myself a cup of coffee. "I'm not really a morning eater."

"Ah" he said chuckling and I could see he did not really buy what I was saying even if it was true.

"Where is Jill?"

"She just finished her breakfast…you know" he pointed to the empty plate. "Not poisoned food."

"Where is Ivashkov?" I asked reluctantly. It was not that I was craving his presence or anything but we needed him to finish Jill registration.

He shrugged. "Where he always is, sleeping off his liquor."

"He drank last night?" Eddie threw me a '_seriously?_' Look. I shook my head. "Yea stupid question….but for once he didn't have to drink himself to sleep."

Eddie simply snorted concentrating on his food again.

I took a deep breath going to Adrian's room. I knew it was pointless to knock based on Eddie banging the previous morning. I walked in directly, grateful I didn't eat anything as the strong smell of stale alcohol would have made me puke.

I didn't even know why we took that dead weight with us but it was not like I had my word to say here….I had to remind myself all the time that I punished and it was already clemency…_Clemency?_ I snorted out loud. _Living with Moroi and in particular Adrian Ivashkov? Clemency? Forcing me away from my world, from everything I had ever known?_

Adrian was fast asleep across his bed, half clothed. I brought my foot up to nudge him.

He groaned, turned around completely ignoring me.

"Come on vampire wake up" I growled. When he ignored me again I decided to go to the extreme. I walked to the bathroom, filled a glass of cold water and threw it to his face.

He jumped out of his bed looking around apparently confused, once he understood he looked at me through narrow eyes. "Are you fucking mental?"

"Probably, if I agreed to let you move in."

"Like you had the choice bigot! What's your problem?"

_My problem is that you are a lazy asshole, a total wast__e of space and energy! People might think you can be saved but I know you are a lost cause, even God cannot save you now…not that he would want to waste his time on a creature of the night like you! _I thought but I knew it wouldn't be productive. "Today is the first day of school and we need your sorry ass to finish Jill's registration."

He looked at me silently.

I threw my hands up in surrender. "I don't care if you kill your liver…whatever is left of it. But for once we need your useless person so make an effort and please take a damn shower you stink." I added and left before adding something that I might regret.

When I made it back in the living room, Jill was there trying to braid her long hair.

"Want some help?" I asked making her jump.

"I…ummm….really?" She asked with a small voice blushing lightly.

I felt bad; I was the only woman in her life for now. Lissa had sent her away pretending it was for her best….which I was not really convinced about. Jill didn't ask for all these changes. I made my choices, I knew that standing by Rose against the alchemists will be hell to pay. I might not have expected to end up in hell for a year but I knew there would be consequences. That poor kid was dealing with the consequences of her bloodline...it was never a choice.

"Yes really, I have long hair too. Turn around" I added with a tentative smile. I was not comfortable with Moroi, but I would have to try harder, I knew she was a good kid. Maybe what the Alchemist council said was true, maybe I had too much kinship toward the dark beings.

She turned around letting me braid her hair. "I know you…you're not very happy to be here but I'm glad you'll be at school with me."

I didn't reply knowing that saying 'me too' would have been a lie. I couldn't believe that I had to retake my senior year in order to graduate which annoyed me to no ends but at least Abe Mazur had been suspiciously nice enough to help me get in the same high rated private school than Jill. I tried to get in all the AP science classes that I wanted. I almost refused his help but he reminded me what I did for his daughter and I thought that, in case the alchemists didn't want me anymore, having a high school diploma from such a famous high school could help me get scholarships for higher education.

"Oh can you braid mine too when you are done?" Asked Ivashkov.

"Get lost Lestat!" I snapped turning around to face him.

He was freshly showered and shaved…if you didn't know him he looked half decent maybe even good looking but once you knew him and his destructive habits….he was a total turn off.

He grinned his unnerving grin. "Why? Would you like to find me?"

I made a gagging sound but ignored him.

Eddie came in playing with the car keys of the dark and luxurious jeep car we had here.

"Ready to go?" He asked looking at us dubiously.

I nodded.

"Let's go over the story once more."

"My name is Jill Ivashkov and this is my brother Adrian." Said Jill, pointing to Adrian. Lisa said it was better to change Jill name even if she was not called Dragomir but apparently there were so many Ivashkov that it wouldn't draw attention. Lisa managed to get Jill brand new identity papers.

I couldn't help but snort reaching for my bag.

Adrian rose an eyebrow at me "What was that all about?"

I shook my head dismissively.

"No please enlighten us." Added Adrian crossing his arms on his chest and I knew he wouldn't budge until I answered.

"I was just thinking…poor kid having to pretend to be related to you that's….an heavy weight to carry."

Jill blushed and I realized she was angry….she was still not over her little crush on him… I truly hope it would fade soon, maybe she would meet a little sophomore like her.

"Anyways…" Said Eddie.

I rolled my eyes straitening my shirt. "I'm Sydney Sage….Alchemist extraordinaire."

"Yeah so 'extraordinarily' a failure they sent you away to live with us" Adrian staged whispered.

"Adrian! Sydney!" Said Eddie with clear exasperation.

"Fine! I'm their second degree cousin and I'm pretty much in hell. I'm living in Azkaban!"

Eddie gave me an exasperate look but ignored my last comment.

"Azka-what?" Asked Adrian.

"You are such a lowbrow…The extent of your lack of culture continues to impress me on a daily basis. "But it's true it was not about the playmate of the month" I spat.

"Better go before they kill each other" said Jill taking a step toward Eddie.

"That's the smarter thing I heard today" said Eddie "and it's not saying much" he added throwing me a look.

I jerked my chin with pride. But it was true I was not proud of me right this moment, that guy was really get under my skin, bringing out the worse part of me.

I started to fidget with my crucifix as we settled in the car. I was sitting in the back with Jill as Eddie and Adrian were in the front,

When we arrived at school I could see all these rich kids and I couldn't help the lump to form in my stomach. I had never been around kids my age, I had been home-schooled for most of my life and the only young people I was around were some rare your alchemists like Ian but it was different it was for work I never…..socialized with anyone really, I was not sure I would know how.

I didn't need to make friend anyways I was here for a year, it was a sentence….I was not supposed to enjoy it anyways. I repeated to myself.

When we got in the administration office, the Principal took Adrian and Jill in his office, but I was only the 'second cousin', they only handed me a schedule and a map of campus.

"They couldn't have made me feel more special if they had tried" I mumbled as Eddie chuckled beside me. "What are you supposed to be anyways?" I asked him.

He shrugged "I'm the bodyguard dropping you off and picking you up every day."

I snorted looking at the schedule. I got into all the AP science classes I wanted … Okay my hell did just get a tiny bit better. I froze seeing the last class on the list. "Umm what is this?" I asked to the secretary.

"Ah yes here at Mount Royal High we proudly encourage personal development, we made art a requirement. You have to choose between acting, music and drawing."

"What if I cannot draw, act, sing or play an instrument?" I asked.

"Well then honey you will have to try hard or fail…" She looked at the clock. "You might want to go now if you don't want to be too late for class."

I glance at Eddie before getting out. "Yes it was official….I was definitely in Inferno, Hell, real deep, dark Hell!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N:** Hi guys!

Here chapter 2. Sorry it's a bit short but I spent the week end sending query letters for my novel…74 of them to be exact. I managed to finish it mainly because of the supports of some of you that have been supporting me since the start of my fanfiction adventure. You guys had a great impact. And I know that, even if I cannot find an agent, I don't totally suck and if I know that it's because all of your support so thanks again….for everything.

**Chapter 2:**

The first week of school had been awkward, but I presumed it would have been the same for anyone starting in a new school senior year. Not that I could know what high school really was about.

Even if I was not ready to admit it, I was glad Jill was here to sit with me at lunch. I could see she was attracting male's attention a lot, but I guessed it was because she fitted, what us humans, considered like being the supermodel standards. Extremely tall, very think with the absence of forms…like that Kate Moss girl. Moreover, Jill had that innocent quality, an angel's face…which seemed to be quite an ironic feature on a creature of the night even if she probably was the gentler sweetest person I ever met…humans included.

I told her a couple of time to go sit with her new friends, I selfishly didn't want her to but It was not fair to hold her back either. She replied that she was just fine with me which I knew was mainly because she didn't want to leave me alone. The sophomore comforting the senior….

The more time, I spent with her and Eddie, leaving Adrian aside; the harder it was to see them as creatures of the night. The alchemists punishment was most likely going to blow up in their faces. They wanted to punish me for siding with Rose by sending me to live amongst her people, but what would happen when I'll get paroled? What if I was even closer of these people than I was before? Could I ever go back to despising them? Could I pretend well enough?

The only real positive thing here, were the AP science classes. It was true that, even those classes were not that challenging for someone like me, and what I meant by that was…how challenging could a class be for someone who knew Dmitri Mendeleev periodical table of elements before being five? However, it was still interesting, and it somehow made me feel better to excel at something as it seemed that I was only good at failing these days.

I was glad when Sunday came, and I got ready for church. Church was always my haven, where I was closer of God. Maybe he could give me a sign…anything to let me know I was doing well, following the right path.

I was tiptoeing around the house trying not to wake anyone up. They might live in the human world now, but they would always be night creatures, and I didn't mean that in a bad way…it was just a fact.

Apparently they were not all sleeping as I was about to leave when Ivashkov walked in. I wrinkled my nose to the strong smell of cigarette and alcohol. There was even a suspicious stain on his shirt, that looked a lot like vomit, but I didn't want to linger on that one. That guy was a mess. I did feel a little bit bad for him at first, when Rose broke up with him, but this empathy faded a long time ago. It was like he was only good on finding excuses to fall even deeper in his destructive habits.

"Hey! Where are you going?" He asked way too loudly.

"Shhhh! They are still asleep. Don't go around waking them up!"

He still stood under the threshold…well 'standing' was probably an overstatement. He was leaning against the door frame for support, blocking my exit.

"You are not supposed to get out at night unprotected, it's the rules Lisa instaured before we moved here."

He snorted with a hiccup…it was one special noise. "You are always following rules aren't you little girl?" He sneered. "Like a brave little soldier… and I don't follow rules, she is not the boss of me."

"Well actually she is; she is your queen."

He rolled his eyes. "Does it mean you are worried about me?"

It was my turn to snort. "Hardly, I just don't want you to mess things up; forcing more guardians on us….living with the three of you is enough." I looked at the clock; I would have to rush to make it on time now.

"Expected somewhere?" He asked, staggering still blocking my way.

"To church" I replied reluctantly knowing he would probably bash my faith once again.

He moved out of the way. "I wouldn't deprive you of such an appointment. I mean you have one with God…that's something. Try to pray for my soul too, if you have the time, okay?"

"You'll need to have one first for me to pray for it." I grabbed my bag, red with anger. "And even if you had one, no prayer in the world could save it now." I added before leaving.

I made it to church with just a couple of minutes to spare. I settled in the back pew closing my eyes, letting all my stress and anguish leave me trying to think to only the love I had for God.

I listened to the priest words keeping my eyes close, letting his words of peace, love and compassion fill me. I knew I was not very compassionate sometimes, maybe I should try to be nicer with Ivashkov, and he was just weaker…with no strong constant in his life_. _

_Please God tell me what to do? How could I be more compassionate? Give me a sign_. I thought as the mass ended.

"You are Sydney…Sage right?" Asked a deep, rasping, voice as I stood up to leave.

I turned around to meet some grey eyes. I was surprised as the voice seemed to belong to a lot older man, but the young man standing before me. He couldn't be more than 20.

"Who's asking?" I asked suspiciously. We might have been in a church, but I learned in the last few months that nothing was sacred and that nobody was safe.

He chuckled burying his hands in his jacket pockets. "You are not very good for a guy ego, do you know that?"

I detailed him; the jacket he was wearing was white and blue with the symbol of our school sport team on the left of his chest. He was tall…well, not as tall as a Moroi, but probably as tall as Eddie…6'0'' or just above. He was pretty wide with light brown hair and tanned skin. He was good looking and probably a jock from our school…Why did he even talk to me? I might not have been fully aware of high school social customs, but I did read enough to know that this kind of people didn't mix with my kind of people.

"I'm sorry I…" I exited the pew to walk outside the church, as it not really the place to socialize.

He smiled with a slight shrug. "I'm just teasing you; it's good for once not to be recognized. I'm in your class in English lit and French. I'm Matt Gardner…"

I still looked at him, still clueless.

"Wow, are you for real?" He asked, and I could see he was trying to figure if I was playing him or not. He seemed happy with what he saw as he continued. "I'm the quarterback of the football team."

"That's….nice?" I tried. The sun was blinding me, and it was too hot, I just wanted to get home. "Well it was nice meeting you Mike but…"

"It's Matt."

"Sorry Matt I…"

"Do you have time to go for a coffee or something?" He asked, pointing at the Starbucks across the street.

"Not really…Do you need anything?"

"Well my sister is in class with your cousin Jill and…"

_Ah now I got it…one more boy that tried to approach me to get with my 'cousin'_ "Yeah….I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that. Jill is very…independent and we are not so close, maybe asking your sister to help you out would be better, but I do think she is a bit young. Well, see you Mike." I was going down the stairs when he caught my wrist, and that was then that I wanted to be Rose, and do the super kick I saw her do a couple of time.

"It's Matt, and I think you misunderstood what I wanted to ask you."

"Please let go" I said looking at his huge hand around my wrist.

"Sorry" he mumbled letting, and I couldn't help to feel a tiny bit guilty at the look of defeat on his face.

I sighed heavily. "What do you want?" I asked, trying not to sound as exasperated as I felt.

"Well my sister was talking with your cousin and apparently you are in the school all AP science classes."

I nodded.

"Well you see, I have a horrible time with chemistry, and I really need to have, at least, a passing grade to get the scholarship I want to play ball. I was worrying all morning, and my parents…" he pointed to the black BMW car that was leaving the car park. "Suggested me to get a tutor, and when I saw you at the end of the mass, I took it as a sign."

I opened my mouth to tell him no, that I had no patience and didn't know anything about tutoring, but if he took it as a sign…maybe it was one after all. I asked God to help be more compassionate, maybe I had to help him.

"I'll help you."

"Really?" He asked with a huge smile.

I nodded.

"Oh that's just so awesome! Thanks! You are saving my life! "

He reached out to hug me, but I raised my hands to stop him. I didn't like contact really…it was just making me awkward.

He blushed, and it seems odd on such a big guy…but it was strangely cute too. "Sorry I'm just so….relived."

"It's alright."

"Do you mind meeting me after school on Monday?"

"I…I don't know about that. I need to see with someone first, but I'll tell you that on Monday okay?"

"You have to see that with him?" He asked, pointing behind me.

Eddie was in the car, window down. With his dark sunglasses, he looked a lot like a secret service agent.

I frowned not liking the idea of him coming here; it was as he was intruding in my private moment.

"I have to go, see you Monday Mike." I said waving dismissively to him.

I heard him shout "it's Matt!" as I settled in the car with Eddie.

"What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Jill has some homework to do, Ivashkov is…out, and it's sunny and warm outside. I wanted to know if you wanted to do something for a while."

I looked at him suspiciously; it was not as we were friends or anything. "Why?"

He took off his glasses and smiled. "Why not? It's not like we have too many friends here, and the people we live with are slightly intolerant to sun."

"I guess…" I trailed off.

"Plus we're stuck together for at least a year; why not try to make the best of it ant give friendship a try? Rose and you are friends, right? She and I are too so, why not give, you and I, a try?"

Hearing him say 'You and I' made my stomach flip, sending all my senses in alert, but I knew it was stupid. It was Eddie, the guardian.

"I wouldn't say 'no' to an ice cream" I admitted.

He grinned getting the car in gear. "SO an ice cream it is."

"So what was that all about"? He asked as we settle at the terrace of the ice cream parlor just by our apartment building.

"What are you talking about?"

"The boy at church…" He winked. "You looked pretty cozy."

"That was nothing" I replied, blushing, concentrating on my chocolate cone.

"It didn't look like 'nothing'" he added cheekily.

"It was nothing. I'm- I'm just going to tutor him in chemistry."

He winked. "Oh yeah…you'll tutor him in chemistry alright."

"I…just bite me!"

I had to admit that I did enjoy my time out with Eddie even if I didn't tell him. I never had friends; I didn't feel like I needed or wanted friends in the life I had before. You couldn't really crave for something you had never known. My life had been filled with science and alchemy. It seemed as enough at the time, until I met Rose. Rose could be seen as the stellar opposite of me. She was as hot blooded as I was cold. She was following her heart; I was always going with my head. She was never thinking enough; I was always thinking too much and I couldn't help but envy slightly the person she were. People were ready to die for her, as for me, my own parents let me go with shame in their eyes.

Adrian had been right I didn't mean much…to anyone.

When we came home, I settled in bed with a good book hoping to get a nap when my phone rang.

"HI friend! How is life in LA?" Rose asked cheerily.

"Well…at least I'm in America. How is life for you there?"

"Life is good, Lisa is really getting into her Queen role, and I really enjoy being a royal guard." I could hear the grin in her voice. "How are the others doing?"

"Jill is doing well, she is getting settled pretty well, but after a week, it's hard to tell. Eddie is Eddie, nothing different here."

"Are you settling?"

"Of course, I am. Integration is easy." I didn't need for her to feel bad for me; I didn't need for anyone to feel bad for me. I made my choice; I had to live with the consequences.

"How…" The words caught in her throat and I knew what she wanted to say.

"He is well Rose, he is recovering. He is still an ass, but he is healing." It was a lie, a big fat lie, and I knew it was going against everything I believed in, but it was a white lie. I was doing it because she needed to let go of her guilt. It was not as she could do anything about it now. I may not have been in love yet, but I knew you couldn't chose who you loved. Rose loved Dimitri; it was an evidence each time they looked at each other. Staying in a relationship with Adrian, would have hurt him a lot more in the long term, even if he was too mad and hurt to figure it out.

"Really?" She asked, and I could hear she didn't buy it. "Are you trying to be nice and spare my feelings?"

I snorted. "Did I ever do that? I don't care about that…you're not a pretty pretty princess."

She laughed at that. "Who want to be princess when you can be a warrior?" She took a deep breath. "I'm glad he is getting there."

"Yeah…." I bit my bottom lip; there was only so much lying I could do. The knock on my door was the perfect pretext. "Listen Jill is here, she maybe needs help with her homework I'll call you soon okay?"

"Okay, you take care of you, and I'm sorry…again…for everything."

"What's done, is done Rose. It's never productive to look back. Bye."

"Bye."

"Come in!" I said not bothering to move from my spot on my bed. However, I jumped when I saw it was not Jill entering but Adrian.

"What do you want?" I asked, self-conscious. I never had a boy in my room except for Ian, but he was a bit like a brother.

Adrian looked around silently like if he wanted register everything I had in my room.

"What do you want?" I repeated, crossing my arms on my chest.

"Do you really think that Moroi have no soul?" He asked, meeting my eyes.

"I…What?" I asked confused.

"This morning you said—"

"I said _**YOU**_ had no soul, I didn't generalize."

"Yeah…" he looked at my black and white poster of Einstein sticking his tongue out for a minute. " Do you really think that?" He asked still looking at the poster.

"It's not relevant what I think." I shrugged. "Nobody cares about what I think, you told me so yourself." "But no…I do not think you have no soul. We all have a soul." That was something that changed too; I have been raised, thinking that the dhampirs and Moroi didn't have a soul but I had seen goodness, selflessness, generosity and love in them…how could they experience all that if they didn't have a soul?

"Do you really think I'm beyond redemption?" He asked and I could see sadness in his eyes.

_Did I hurt him? It was not possible! That guy was too drunk and cocky to get hurt_.

"Do you think that's why she left me?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly and I realized he was hurting a lot more than I could imagine.

"No I don't think she left you for that. It had nothing to do with anything you are or anything you do." _She just loves another who is just PERFECT for her _I added to myself.

"What about redemption? You really think I'm a lost cause, don't you?"

I looked at him silently for a second not knowing what to say. I had two persons in me, two opinions battling to get. I just needed to compromise.

"I think there is no lost cause. It's never too late, only death can stop you from becoming the person you want to be."

He nodded silently burying his hands in his pockets. "Thanks" he said in a whisper before exiting the room and closing the door silently.

I felt something in my chest and cursed myself. Damn I was feeling bad for him again! _I'll help you get better_ I swore silently to the door. _You'll heal; I swear you will._


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

**Chapter 3:**

"Ms Sage you need to try something…anything" said the music teacher on the seventh weeks of school.

"I don't know what to do…really." I was sitting as far in the auditorium as I was allowed to go.

"But why did you choose music then?" She replied, standing straight and commanding, in the middle of the stage.

What could I say here really? That the other classes where full and that I couldn't dance for the life of me only leaving music as, a suicidal, yet only solution?

"If you don't sing anything or play an instrument you'll fail…it's as simple as that." She smiled. "I'm not as idiotic to think that failing music will ruin your academic career, but a 'fail' will look bad on your college application no matter what."

"Just do it, even if it's terrible she won't fail you." I heard a voice murmur from behind me making me jump.

"Matt?" I whispered not turning around.

He chuckled. "My last class got cancelled, I decided to come and wait here for you."

"She won't fail me?"

"I swear, and if you accept to perform in the winter spectacle you'll get an A for the full year…I embarrassed myself in it last year, but it was worth for not showing up for the rest of the year."

"Miss Sage?" The irritated voice brought me back to reality.

"Okay I'm coming" I said, and I saw her face gleam with success. She probably thought it was her threats that motivated me, but actually it was Matt. It was true that I didn't; care if I embarrassed myself. It was not like I had friends and I would probably never see any one of them after this year.

I started to sing Rolling in the Deep by Adele knowing it would sound more or less decent with voice.

When I was done, I was pretty happy not to hear any laugh.

"Very well" Said Miss Taylor clearing her throat. "You can go back to your seat."

"That was awesome!" Whispered Matt, from behind. "You will get an A without embarrassing yourself in the process."

"It's just…" I shrugged. I used to sing in our church choir when I was a child, before my sister ran away and I had to take over role of the family apprentice alchemist. "I just don't sing much" I simply said not wanted to talk to him about my family issues.

"You will find the form for the school winter art show on the wall by the exit. Don't forget that putting your name and performing will automatically get you an A for the year." Said the teacher.

"You'll do it?" Asked Matt more loudly as we exited the auditorium.

"I guess so…" I said gloomily. I knew that being into the art would also help me in the college application. It was not like I really intended to go to university. I was supposed to go back to my life after this year, go back at being an alchemist…'a perfect little soldier' as Adrian had called me before. But right now i was not sure anymore, I didn't know if they were going to give me my job back…I wasn't sure I WANTED my job back.

I had changed, being sent away made me rethink a lot of things about what I was, and who I was supposed to become. I was not sure I liked this idea much anymore. I needed a back-up plan just in case.

I wrote my name on the list, and I could see that the unconditional A motivated a lot of people as it seemed the whole class signed the paper.

"So why did you came? Not bailing on me right?" I asked, taking the direction of the science lab. The Chemistry teacher loved me; apparently I was the best student he ever had in his class. I knew I was pretty good, but going to the extent of 'the best I ever had', made me seriously questioned the standards of admission in this, so called, exclusive private school.

"What would you have missed me if I bailed?" He asked, nudging me gently.

"No it was just so hard to convince Mr. Reilly to let us be in the lab unintended to prepare you for your practice exam…I'm not sure I'll be able to convince him again."

"Oh…" He said looking down to his shoes.

What did I say again? It was as I was making him uncomfortable some days without knowing why. I sighed. It was so much easier to deal with Eddie and the depressed Adrian who I still had no idea on how to help.

"Hey how can you make a depressed guy feel better?" I asked out of the blue. Maybe Matt could give me some idea. He was maybe human, and Adrian a Moroi, but at the end of days, there were both males.

"I'm not depressed."

"Good to know but I don't see what it has to do with anything."

He blushed a little. "Nothing I guess."

"No it's a guy who just had a bad break up, and he is down all the time…I just want him to feel better."

"I don't know Syd" he said sitting on his table opening the book to look at his experience.

I scrunched my eyebrows taken aback. I was not used to him to reply that coldly. "Okay…let's concentrate on the experience."

We had finished the first experience when he took a deep breath. "You have to make him feel better about himself."

"What? Who?" I asked, trying to add some sulfur to the test tube.

"The guy who is depressed. I presume it's the girl who dumped his ass right?"

I nodded.

"Well believe me…he is probably feeling like shit right now, like a good for nothing. It's never good for a guy ego to be dumped or repeatedly rejected by the girl we really like. He ran of his hand in his hair. Make him think he is very good at something, like better than you and that you want to I don't know…learn from him."

"So I'll have to lie then?"

He chuckled. "Yeah…but you can also find something in which he is better than you."

"He is great at drinking and whoring, but I don't really need to excel in that." I let out not really thinking.

"He doesn't really look like a drinker."

"Who?"

"The guy you are talking about, the guy that came with you to church for the past four weeks."

"Eddie? You…" I shook my head. "No it's for Adrian my…cousin." It was still so weird to call him that and it still surprising that noone caught us on that lie yet.

"Oh that's great!" he said with clearly more enthusiasm, which confused me even more.

"Why did it even matter who I wanted to help?"

"But my first idea won't work for family…why don't you try to help him change his mind, make him concentrate on something else or maybe…" he trailed off.

"Maybe what?"

"Help him find another girlfriend."

I snorted "yeah…let's try the other thing before okay?"

When I got home I was still trying to think of what I could do that might be an interest to Adrian, and I didn't come with much that I would want to be associated with. I still had my shot to heaven, and I was pretty sure that doing anything that the man enjoyed would send me straight to hell.

I saw the pile of books he bought for his classes, and half of them were about architecture. That was something I was really good at….maybe we could find something after all.

Eddie and Jill were not here; he probably took her shopping as he promised her. I thanked God for tutoring it gave me a fantastic excuse to skip shopping.

I took a deep breath before knocking on Adrian's door. He couldn't be so drunk just yet. I tried a quick, energetic knock.

"I told you no Castile! I don't care if it's his birthday or not I will not go to court."

I opened the door slowly letting my head in. " Well that's good to know, I don't even know whose birthday it is, but I share your aversion" I said, in an attempt to joke. I should avoid that…I wasn't funny, I never was.

He raised an eyebrow looking up his book. Seeing him study surprised me more than I thought it could. "Sydney Sage came to the evil lair?" He asked with a mocking grin. "It has to be very important."

"What are you doing?" I asked, jerking my head toward the book.

"Really? I ummmm" he didn't expect that and seeing Adrian taken aback was pretty funny. "I'm trying to find a project for my history of architecture class."

I leaned against the door frame. "Can I give you an idea?"

"I'm always open to anything you might suggest wise one." He said clearly with a double meaning. He knew all his sexual allusion made me widely uncomfortable, and he used it all the time.

"You know Sage means Wise in French right?" I said, sidetracked

"Why do you think I used it? I'm not as retarded as you think i am."

"I never said…." He sat straighter as in daring me to finish that sentence. "Anyways, what writing your paper on the Spanish architectural influence in South California?"

He froze looking at me like a second head just grew out.

"What"? I asked self-consciously.

"That's actually brilliant!" He said jumping up, closing his book.

I snorted. "Why? Did you really doubt my intelligence?"

"Well, as far as helping me is concerned, absolutely! I thought you would come up with something involving my influence on whore houses or something."

"Oh…I did not think of that!" I said really sadden.

He chuckled reaching for his digital camera. "Want to come with?" He asked, surprising me.

I knew I would not have been his first choice of companie in a normal situation, but we were literally the two only person here. Plus, it might even be good for my operation "Get Adrian to a bit better than dead slug" state

"Only if I can drive." I said looking with longing at the keys of his Audi R8. I would rather die than admit it but I was in love with the sport car he bought two weeks ago. Apparently he was fed up to get driven around by Eddie and bought it. I almost kissed the damn car, but I had to pretend to be smug….that had been so hard.

"Drive?" He looked at the keys in his hands before looking back at me. "You want to drive princess?"

"Princess? You gave a name to your car?" I grimaced.

"So? Some people name their penises."

"I-" I knew I was blushing furiously, and I wanted to kick him in the shins for that. "I know more about cars than you will ever do….trust me Adrian."

He threw me the keys, "I trust you wise one."

I barely caught them….that was Adrian alright; I really didn't know how to stand with him. Each time I thought I had him figured out, he came up with something and threw me off.

We had fun this afternoon; more fun than I had in a while…more fun than I expected to have, especially with him.

"I can help you organize all that" I said as we got out of the car.

"What do you mean? You want to write the paper for me?" He asked, teasing. "Well…I would not want to impose and all that but if you want to I will not stop you."

I laughed punching his shoulder playfully. "Yes you can sit on that one!"

"Yes that's more like it" he said laughing too wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I had to admit it was nice to hear him laugh knowing it was because of me. I was helping him get better I was actually useful.

"Sydney?" I heard someone call from behind me making my smile disappear in an instant.

I turned around. "What are you doing here?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N:** Hey guys! Sorry it took a long time but i'm very busy with work and all.

I would like to thank all my fantastic reviewers and as usual please don't forget to review and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer...I own nada.

**Chapter 4: **

"Ian?" I asked incredulous. I quickly looked around expecting to see more alchemists around. Did they find out I was getting closer to the people I lived with? Some time I was scared they noticed it was not punishment enough and would send me in one of those crazy rehabilitation centres where they suck out your personality at the same type than any affinity you might have with the 'dark' side.

"Hi…" he said warily throwing a quick glance to Adrian standing beside me. I came to see you.

"Why? Is something wrong? Has something happened to Zoe?" I asked, getting worried.

He shook his head slightly flushed. "No, I was worried about you and I wanted to see if you were alright."

Adrian snorted, I didn't know why.

"I—" I opened the building door. "Please come in, it's better not stay outside. You know you were not supposed to have any contact with me….especially after what happened". I said remembering how he helped me with Rose.

"You are my friend Sydney. I'm doing what any dutiful friend should do" he added getting in the elevator with us.

Adrian snorted again as he entered the key in the panel of the elevator to get us to the penthouse.

"Are you alright?" I asked him. I was starting to think his snorts were more like throat scratching.

"Are you?" He asked, looking down at me. He quickly glanced at Ian before looking at me again. He chuckled. "Wow welcome to 'Blind Land'" he shook his head concentrating on the elevator doors." So bright yet so ignorant."

"What? What the hell was he talking about?"

The elevator finally reached our floor.

"Nothing" he said, gesturing dismissively exiting the elevator.

I turned to Ian who was glaring murderously top Adrian.

"Do you know what he meant?" I asked utterly lost.

Ian flushed, probably with Anger. "I have no idea." He shook his head." These people don't think like us."

"Really Ian, they are not so different from us. Well Adrian might be a case, but humans are like that too."

Ian threw me a doubtful glance and sighed. "Can we talk?" He asked, taking in the living room, and I knew all he was seeing was the luxury of the place.

"Sure" I said gesturing him toward the sofa. I knew it was not my home but I couldn't help to feel awkward to have him invade this space that was now mine, for a certain amount of time. I cared for Ian, I trusted him. He was a bit like the brother I never had, but I knew that his allegiance was to the alchemists first….not that I could blame him for it, I was the same….before.

"Alone" he said looking at Adrian.

Adrian chuckled. "Yeah, like I didn't see that one coming." He sighed turning toward me. "I'll be in my room uploading the pictures on my laptop."

I nodded.

"DO you want something to drink?" I asked, gesturing toward the fridge.

He shook his head." No thanks I don't have much time. I'm here with David for a meeting."

"Oh that's nice!" I said sincerely joining him on the sofa. "I know how much you wanted him to be your mentor." I was glad to find out that his career was still on the right path and that helping me did not mess up his life.

"I was worried about you so I sneaked out for a little while but…but I guess you're okay here."

"I…" I blushed. I was more than okay, I enjoyed living with Eddie and Jill…and, so help me god, Adrian."I'm settling."

He glanced curiously to the corridor where Adrian disappeared before. "You know they're making Zoe train to be an alchemist."

I winced, but I couldn't say I was surprised. I hated the idea of Zoe having the same obligations than I had, she was so young; barely 15 and so sweet and naïve…Actually Jill reminded me a lot of her. When I had been sent away, I saw about the same disappointment in my father than I did see when Marie told him that she was leaving for good he thought I was lost, I knew that now. He was preparing my sister to take my place…the only question remaining was did he expect for me to actually walk away or simply blew my chance?

"He thinks you will do like Marie" Said Ian confirming my doubts. "I always thought it was impossible."

He stopped there, but I actually could feel the weighty 'but' that didn't come.

"But"? I tried encouraging him to say what he thought.

"I…" he sighed. "Nothing it's … I'm glad to see you're adapting to your new life."

The way he said 'adapt' really got to me. "What? Am I getting judged because I'm trying to make the best of a situation I didn't choose?"

"All I want to say, is that it doesn't seem like such a punishment" he gestured to the luxury of the room.

"Did you want me to be miserable?" I asked with disbelieve. "I thought…you told me the punishment was unfair, you said I did what was right! What changed Ian?"

"You did" he said, and the sadness in his voice surprised me.

I wanted to ask for more details, but he stood up. "I better go before they start looking for me."

"Ian…"

"It was nice seeing you again Syd" he said walking to the door.

"Ian…please." I tried reaching for his arm, but he was already out of reach.

"You take care" he simply added before leaving.

"What was all that about?" I asked to myself, looking at the closed door.

"You really have to ask?" I heard Adrian from the kitchen.

"I should have known you were spying" I said, trying to sound exasperated, but to be honest I didn't truly care.

He chuckled walking in the room. "Sorry but it was widely entertaining and the fact you have no clue makes it even better."

"What does it mean?"

He leaned against the wall looking at me intently. "It means you are trouble Miss Sage."

"Trouble? I'm not trouble! I'm sweet."

He nodded with a small, sad, smile. "Yes…that's exactly why you are trouble" he added before going back to his room.

I was 'trouble'? What did that even mean?

The rest of the week went pretty well as I helped Adrian to get his project ready and if I tried to forget that he was a Moroi…a Moroi who was drinking his liver dead and a man whore, I actually enjoyed the time in his company.

Even if, I hated to admit it… him, Jill and Eddie were becoming a sort of family to me.

"I aced it!" Said Adrian, coming home a couple of weeks later.

I was on the sofa watching a documentary. It was only us at home as both Jill and Eddie left a couple of days before for Christians' birthday.

"You aced what?" I asked finally concentrating on him. "Alcoholism 101?" I asked as even if he didn't look as depressed as before his drinking and smoking didn't reduce at all.

"Ahahahah you're such a hoot." He threw me a white binder. "The project…the one you helped me with."

"Oh! That's awesome" I said, jumping from my seat to hug him before even realizing it.

Adrian stayed frozen for a second before hugging me back. He was probably as surprised as I was.

I let go with a deep throat clearing.

"I…ummm" he ran his hand through his hair.

He was probably uncomfortable with what I just did, I realized mortified.

"I'm sorry." I said walking back to the sofa.

"What for?" He asked apparently genuinely confused.

"The thing" I said gesturing from him to me "the hug."

"Okay…" He trailed off as I was a bit slow. "Anyways, I owe you one."

"No you don't, you did it all by yourself."

He chuckled. "No I didn't, and you know it. What about going out for dinner?"

"Dinner? With you?"

"Yeah….that's the idea."

I shook my head negatively. I knew he was trying to get out of his way to be nice, and I didn't want that plus, I honestly didn't need to be in a public place with a Moroi I couldn't defend, and with my luck, I would be seen by an alchemist winning myself a one way ticket to rehabilitation camp. "No, no dinner."

He sat on the armchair across from me. "Okay I have a better idea. I'll help you catch your guy."

"My….guy?"

He laughed. "I may not have my abilities as I used to but believe me, I'm not blind and that guy from your school…Mike?"

"Matt." I said without thinking getting a mischievous grin from Adrian

"I got you there, didn't I?" He grimaced. "I might not know a lot about books, and academic stuff, but I know guys and I can help you get him eat in the palm of your hand."

"I…". I was about to say no, but I did like Matt, at least I thought I did, and who knew how long I would be around? If they decided to send me to camp, I wouldn't have any interest in boys for a long time, and if I went back to my old alchemist life, it was not like I would have much choice concerning my suitor. Maybe I should try to enjoy life a bit before being stuck forever.

"Okay" I finally let out knowing it was a mistake.

"We're going to have so much fun." Adrian wicked smile made me cringe even more.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N: **Hey guys!

Sorry it took forever to update but work is CRAZY! Anyways I really hope you'll enjoy and don't forget to review.

Thanks.

**Chapter 5**:

"No, no way. I won't wear that!" I said pointing to the very tight, exceedingly short and very slutty red dress that Adrian was holding.

"But you want to attract him" he said with a wicked grin "and believe me that will attract his attention."

"You're wrong!" I snapped. "I'm not…" I was about to say 'Rose' but I knew it would hurt him and I stopped myself just in time. "Like that."

I saw the pain cross his face, and I realized he had known exactly what I was about to say.

I groaned closing my eyes. So much for trying to distract him for a while. "That…that was a terrible idea." I said gesturing to the store. "I never should have agreed to it." I added storming out of the shop.

I hated shopping. I hated malls. I hate fashion, and the idea of him buying me clothes. I couldn't even remember why I agreed to come at the first place. Maybe it was because I wanted someone to look at me as Adrian used to look at Rose, or because I could see Adrian getting back to his mopping, or also because I was bored and didn't like being alone with him in this big place…or maybe it was just a mix of all that.

"Okay I'm sorry" he said catching my wrist just before I exited the mall. "I shouldn't have taken you into that shop."

Seeing Adrian apologize, without being sarcastic or condescending about it, really took me aback. "No, you shouldn't have." I grumbled.

"We should fine something more…like you." He admitted.

I knew what he was seeing with my black dressing pants, my white button down shirt and comfortable walking shoes. I looked much more like a 50 years old stuck-up shrew than a 19 years old, young woman. It had never been an issue before; I never felt self conscious… not that way.

"Maybe we should just forget about it and go home." I said crossing my arms on my chest.

He sighed running his hand in his hair. "I said I'm sorry, it was stupid of me. Come on…please?"

He knew how to say 'please'? And he was saying it to me! I couldn't hide my surprise and suspicion.

He smiled. "It's fun to be out and do stuff, it stops me from…thinking too much."

In normal circumstances, I would have told him something like 'really? You know how to think?' but today he seemed stripped of most of his cockiness and smartass attitude that got under my skin. He looked…almost human.

I sighed in rendition.

"We'll start small okay?" He gestured me to the GAP store. "Let's forget about the dress, maybe a nice pair of pants."

"I have pants."

"I know you do but please….humor me."

We ended up buying two pairs of jeans as, as unbelievable as it seemed, I didn't own any. Adrian said it was looking very nice on me and that it showed my 'well shaped' legs. This compliment made me blush which made him laughs. For the top, it caused more arguments, but we settled for colored button down shirt, one red and one green.

"Want to grab lunch?" he asked, gesturing toward the food court. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

After spending three hours in the mall I just wanted to go home, I didn't like crowded places. "I…we have food in the fridge. Why don't we go home?"

"I couldn't cook for the life of me!"

"But I can!" I rushed out. "I'll cook you something." I said realizing only too late what I was proposing.

"You know how to cook?" He asked quizzically.

"Yes why?"

"You…you certainly are something else. "

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks with anger.

"Well you are smart, well educated, you are good with art, I saw you sewn, and now you tell me that you can cook?" He shrugged. "You're a Martha Stewart with a brain."

"Go F yourself!" I spat. I almost forgot what an ass he could be.

"It was a compliment!" He said, and he looked so offended that I couldn't help but believe him. "As for cooking for me, I accept the offer but let's do that tonight now I really need food" he added reaching for my free hand pulling me to the food court.

"Thanks, by the way." I said reluctantly as we sat with our food.

"What for?" He asked mouth full.

I pointed to the bag.

He shook his hand dismissively. "Don't mention it. So what's the plan?"

"The plan for what?"

"Get the guy!"

"I need a plan?"

"How did you ever manage to get a boyfriend?" He asked seriously.

_I couldn't tell, I never did. _I thought, but I simply shrugged. "I managed just fine."

I was not sure he believed me with the way he looked at me, but he didn't comment.

"What does he do?"

"What do you mean 'what does he do?' he is a senior like me."

Adrian chuckled. "Believe me sweetie, nobody is like you. " He saw I was about to retort something, he raised his hand. "Again…I was making a compliment here." He sighed. "Except school do you know what he likes?"

"Oh that!" I blushed with embarrassment. I should have guessed that one. "He is playing football, he is quarterback I think."

"A jock? Really?" Adrian grimaced. "I… okay go on."

"Well he likes to read too" I added embarrassed that in fact, he seemed to enjoy comic books only. "And-"

"Hey Syd! What's up?" Asked Matt, sitting at our table, without even asking permission.

I looked at him mouth open. I really didn't expect to see him here. What were the odds? Well pretty high considering the Mall was probably the only decent distraction here. "Matt?"

"Yes…" He grinned.

"He has impeccable manners too that boy" mumbled Adrian from across the table, and I knew it was meant for my ears only.

"My name is Matt" said Matt finally concentrating on Adrian. "And you should be Syd cousin Adrian" he added extending his hand toward Adrian to shake his.

"You are correct" simply replied Adrian looking at Matt's hand with disdain before resuming to eat.

I wanted to kick him so bad! Adrian was haughty, I didn't know him much, but I had seen this side of him so many times but I didn't expect it today.

Matt simply shrugged it off, before turning on his chair to face my side, resting his arm on the back of his chair. "So you did some shopping too." He pointed to the GAP bags.

"Observant too…a really catch" said Adrian, pretending to be concentrated on his plate, which meant he sadly missed my best death glare.

"Yes," I smiled. "Sometime you just have to."

"What are you doing now? Do you have other plans?"

"We were planning to go to the bookstore." Said Adrian looking at Matt. "They just released a book which is making a depth analysis of the Russians' Authors. Fascinating! Who do you think was the most controversial author? Tolstoy or Dostoyevsky? I do tend to go in the Tolstoy direction myself, what about you Mike?"

"Matt and I don't read much." He said not getting mad. That was something I truly liked about him he seemed to be good to the core.

"Oh no?" Adrian turned to me one eyebrow raised. "But Syd told me…"

"Oh yes I read all the time, but it's mostly comics you know."

"Yes I do know" he replied looking at me with a small mocking smile. "Who would have thought?"

"I-Why?" I asked Matt.

"Oh it's okay I mean I wouldn't want you to ditch your cousin and all. I wanted to ask-" he was flushing, and it was making him even cuter. "Friday…"

"Tutoring? Yes, it's on."

"No, not that." He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Do you have plans Friday evening? Because I would like to go to the movies…with you."

"Well as a matter of fact yes, she has plans. We…"

"No, its okay I can postpone" I said cutting Adrian off. "I would like to go to the movie with you."

Matt smile widened and I could feel a rush of heat in my chest knowing that, for the first time in my life, I had the power to light such a smile on someone face. Until today, I had never been the one triggering these smiles.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow" he said standing up. "Nice meeting you dude" he said to Adrian.

"What was that all about?" I snapped after I was sure Matt was out of earshot.

"You made a rookie mistake, you made yourself available too fast. What's fun is the chase…you lost your appeal when you said yes."

"Maybe not everybody is as fickle as you are. Some people interest may be more profound, more intellectual."

Adrian snorted throwing his napkin in his plate. "Sure the guy is such a brain! I mean compared to him, I'm the new Einstein. Who would have thought…Miss Sage is just as fickle as us mere mortal."

I opened my mouth to answer, but I didn't have anything to add. It was true that Matt and I were different, but I never dated before….that would be my first date ever even if I rather die than admit it to Adrian.

He laughed, but it was empty of any humor. "Yeah that's what I thought…you have no come back." He took a deep breath and stood up. "Come on Sage, let's get back and talk strategy."

"Strategy?" I asked suspiciously "I think not."

He shrugged. "As you want we'll just see how Miss Sage manages all by herself."

"I'll do just fine I replied jerking my chin up in defiance.

He smiled. "Yeah…we'll see…We'll see."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN**: Hi Guys!

I'm moving tomorrow but here is a new chapter. Please review and tell me what you think it will keep my mood up for these stressing days.

Thanks for reading,

Steffy2106

**Chapter 6: **

As Matt drove to the movie theater, I couldn't help but replying the conversation I had with Adrian less than an hour ago.

"_Okay now listen to me, you might think you're all smart, and it's mainly true but as far as social relationships are concerned you are probably not brighter than a child." _

_I frowned, showing him I was displeased, but I couldn't comment as he was pretty close from the truth. _

"_You know how you know about science and stuff? well dating is a science all by itself. I know how guys think" he added tapping his forehead with his forefinger. "Humans, dhampirs or even Moroi it's all the same and the first date are all the same." _

"_Come on Yoda, enlighten me" I said trying to sound sarcastic but truth be told I can really interested by what he had to tell me. _

"_Okay well what I will explain you concern first dates at the movies. The choice of the movie is essential, and it will tell you a lot about who your date is, and what he is expecting from you. If he chooses the super cheesy romantic movie he is just trying to impress you, trying to get you all mushy for a hot making out session later in his car plus it makes him a calculator who is trying to impress you….there is a need to be wary here, he might be hiding something. Then if, he chooses the total action movie with only big guns, big crashes and gutsy blood…he is selfish and doesn't care about what you want or what you might think. He is just egotistical." _

"_Okay…" I trailed hating the fact that he made sense. Was I starting to understand Adrian? And even scarier…was I starting to agree with him? _

"_If he tells you to pick, that he doesn't mind well," Adrian chuckled "he is a liar, he minds….of course he does but he is so adamant to please you that he is pretending." _

"_Well that is a good thing no? Wanting to please me?" _

_Adrian shrugged looking away for a second. "It's pretty stupid to do that, for both of you. Firstly you won't know exactly who he is and if he is trying to please you here who said he won't try to bullshit you even more to get in your pants?" _

_Just thinking about sex while talking with Adrian made be blush furiously. _

"_Plus if he is trying too hard to become someone he is not just to please you well…it will come back and bite you both in the ass." He added looking intense. _

"_Talking about experience" I asked, teasing hoping to lighten the mood, but it failed as he turned to me with trouble eyes and simply whispered a 'yea…' _

_I cleared my throat aching to bring him back on the lighter subject. "But your theory is flawed since apparently every choice is wrong." _

_He shook his head. "No, he can chose a movie that mixes both action and romance such as, well they are not in theater anymore, but it's just to give you an idea…Braveheart, the English Patient, Armageddon. Or he can simply go with a good comedy" he said pointing to the new comedy in the newspaper. _

"_What if he asks me to choose?" _

_Adrian gave me a wicked grin. "Are you squeamish?" _

_I snorted. "What do you think? I'm sharing a place with you." _

"_Ahahah very funny well if I were you; I'll go with the horror movie" he said looking at the movies playing tonight. "That would show him that you cannot be bullshitted and that you are a very strong and confident girl." _

_I smiled. "Thanks". _

_He looked at me silently for a minute as if he was trying to decipher something. "Anytime" he finally added standing up, taking the direction of his bedroom. "Oh, by the way…" _

_I looked up. "Yeah?" _

"_You look beautiful tonight Sage" he added before disappearing in the corridor. _

I couldn't help the smile to creep on my face then, and I knew that the smile was here now.

"What are you smiling about?" Asked Matt, bringing me back to reality.

I looked around startled, realizing we were already parked in the movie theater car park.

"Oh it's…Nothing." I shook my head concentrating on him. "So what are we up to see?"

He shrugged. "You pick I don't mind."

"Oh…" I said probably not able to stop my face to fall from disappointment. Liar liar pants on fire I couldn't help but think. "Why don't we go see 'Revenge of the flesh eaters'?"

Matt eyes widened. "You…you want to see the flesh eater's movie?"

"Sure" and I couldn't help but smile thinking of Adrian grin and his 'I told you' face.

When Matt was paying for our ticket, I looked around at the crowd. I like to people watch…I always lived in the margin, it had to do with the big secret I was a part of, but it was not the only reason…I was odd even as far as alchemists were concerned.

My eyes locked on an old man, and I frowned as he was staring at me too. I had a strange feeling of déjà vu.

"Ready?" Asked Matt, bringing his hand to my back.

"I…this guy is really looking at me in an odd way" I said, pointing to the direction where the old man has been, just a few seconds ago, but it was empty now.

"Okay…." Matt trailed off wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Are you sure you want to see the zombie movie? You seem pretty spooked already."

I shook my head." It will take more than a couple of flesh eaters to scare me" and he didn't know how true it was.

He chuckled. "Well if you are scared you can still hide here" he said rubbing his chest.

I blushed not answering, but I could hear Adrian snort in my head, and his more than likely, snide comment. "Please, guy could you be more cliché?". This time the blush that crept on my cheeks was of anger…Adrian were managing to ruin my date from the distance…My first date ever.

I spent most of the movie thinking about that old man…trying to figure where I've met him before.

"Not even a little flinch here?" Whispered Matt to my ear. His hot minty breath made me shiver. "I have to admit I'm impressed."

I would have been way too embarrassed to admit I didn't even know what it was about…. I had spaced out. "I told you; it took more than a couple flesh eaters to scare me."

"Yeah….it was just willful thinking."

"Willful thinking? What did you wish?"

He looked at me with incredulity. "Nothing…lets watch the movie."

After a little while, Matt put his arm, palm up on my armrest…that was a weird position for someone. I looked up to him, but he was looking straight ahead as if he was absorbed in the movie. I looked to my other side noticing two empty seats…maybe he was trying to tell me the space was too small, he was pretty wide, and the seats were pretty small.

"I'm sorry you probably don't have enough space" I said standing up. "Here….it's better right?" I asked, taking the seat beside mine.

"No, no, that was not the intent" he said way too loud getting some 'shhh' from the others in the room.

"I don't understand" I whispered.

He sighed." You don't make it easy do you?"

"Make what easy?"

He simply shook his head looking at the screen again.

After the movie, Matt was particularly quiet and this was really not like him.

"I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry" I finally said when he parked in front of my building.

"Sorry?" He asked apparently taken aback.

I nodded. "You are apparently upset about something I did; I have no idea what I did wrong …"

He sighed running his hand in his hair. "You are giving me mix messages all the time and I never know if you like spending time with me or you just do it because you feel bad saying no."

"So why don't you ask?"

"I…" he blushed slightly. "It's not the way it's done."

"Says who?"

"Everybody!" He replied, and I could hear the exasperation in his voice.

"Well I'm not like everybody" I added standing straighter.

"'ve noticed" he grumbled. He turned a bit on his seat to face me. "So….do you like spending time with me?"

"Yes very much."

"I like you Sydney, I really do."

"I do too."

He cracked me his million dollar smile as my phone vibrated in my pocket.

I quickly read the text from Adrian. "_U r not supposed to stay so long in his car. It's a 1st date_"

"Do you want to go grab a burger? I know a place that is still open."

I shook my head. "Some other time maybe but…my cousin just texted me, he needs me for something."

"Adrian?"

I nodded.

"How close are you? I mean….genetically."

"What?" I asked. I clearly understood the question, but I needed a couple of seconds to figure an answer.

"I mean, are you first degree or something?"

Matt was clearly not as clueless as Adrian thought, he noticed how different we looked. "No we're pretty remote actually, third degree. It's because of the look isn't it?"

"Yeah and because he seems pretty….protective of you." He added evasively.

"Well protective is good right?"

"I…yes as long as protectiveness doesn't cross the border of possessiveness. Well goodnight Syd" he bent and softly kissed my cheek. "See you Monday."

"Sure." I got out of the car even more clueless about dating as I was before our date. I was sure I did something wrong, but I didn't know what. I followed Adrian instructions. He told me to be distant, to reduce physical contact to a minimum, but it seemed to make Matt upset.

"Really... were you spying on me?" I asked, entering in the living room.

Adrian was on the sofa, feet on the coffee table, watching MTV.

"Nice to see you too, sunshine." He chuckled straitening "and sorry to disappoint, but I was on the balcony having a cigarette. I just…I didn't want him to think you were too easy to get you know…" he shrugged dismissively. "He might have lost interest."

"Yeah well nothing happen so don't worry my honor is safe."

"Nothing?" He asked incredulous with one eyebrow raised. "Not even a kiss?"

I shook my head negatively, and he burst into laughter.

I looked at him mortified. I knew Adrian had a lot of flaws but actually being petty….that was not something I expected from him, at least not anymore. "You are mocking me?" I asked not able to stop my eyes from filling up with tears. "Maybe you were a crappy teacher and I turned him off instead of turning him on."

"You think I was mocking you?" He asked, standing up coming to me. "No I am mocking how stupid that guy is."

"Why do you keep saying that?" I asked exasperated.

"Because if I had been him-"

"What would you have done? Humiliate me?"

He grinned. "Not exactly. I would have—"He reached for my hand and pulled me toward him. Before I had the time to register, his lips were on mine, moving softly. I was frozen for a second, but then without really knowing what I was doing, I was moving my lips too, in an attempt to kiss him back. I couldn't believe it was my first kiss right then, with one of my enemy. He tasted a mix of cigarette and brandy. Not really the ideal first kiss, but his lips were so soft, much softer than I thought they could. I really hoped he wouldn't realize the extent to my inexperience.

The most embarrassing part was how I was responding to him without even realizing, how I pressed my body to his…locking my arms around his neck… how I wished this kiss would never stop.

My cell starting to ring and I jumped startled Adrian let go slowly with a small smile playing on his face.

He kept his eyes locked on mine. "That's the way he should have said goodnight" he said reaching for my phone. "I need to tell him what a fool he was. Syd's phone" he answered with a big smile.

His eyes almost immediately turned dark, and his smile faded. I knew right then who was on the phone.

"It's for you" he said frostily almost throwing me the phone.

"Sydney's speaking."

'_Sydney is Rose, we are in a jam…I need your help_.'

I closed my eyes with a sigh; I knew the peace couldn't last long. "What's up Rose?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N: **Hey guys!

Sorry, it took forever to update and this chapter is a bit short but life has been crazy…especially work.

Little note in the next chapter you'll get some belikov godness…awesome, right?

Don't forget to review, I love reading you J

I don't own VA….I just wish I could have some Dimitrian loving (Dimitri/Adrian)

**Chapter 7: **

"Who are you accused of killing this time?" When she didn't get back, I winced. It was probably bad taste…some of Adrian dark humor was starting to rub on me. It wasn't cool. "Too early?" I asked sheepishly.

"Just a notch." She admitted. "It's Jill…."

"Jill? What about her?" I asked as a big knot formed in my stomach making me understand that I cared about her a lot more than I realized.

"Someone tried to kill her just here at the palace."

"Did you arrest him?"

"I wish; let me tell you| and I could hear the burning anger in her voice. "We don't know who is behind those attempts, but they are getting closer. We had a meeting this morning, and she is clearly in more danger than we even thought. They got so close…too close."

"I don't really know what you expect from me here Rose. I'm neither a fighter nor a mind reader, just an alchemist." _And a banished one _I almost added.

"I—Jill will be back tomorrow afternoon, we'll be increasing her protection…adding a guardian."

I winced. I was already sharing my space with two males, the addition of some testosterone didn't make me happy.

"He is going to share his room with Eddie."

"Yeah I…and you need me because….?"

"Well, right now, we're not sure who to trust. The threat is high, and the people behind it are probably really powerful."

"Well that's a given, it has to be people who want a shot to the crown…and only royals have something to gain here. Do you have a guardian who is trust worthy?"

"Yeah…" she trailed off. Rose was a lot of things, but she was not coy and her hesitation led me to think it was even bigger than I thought.

"Rose?" I couldn't contain the warning in my voice.

"Lissa decided to send Guardian Tanner…Mikhail."

"Oh!" I said with a sigh of relief. I didn't know the guardian well but as far as I could tell he was very decent.

"However…"

I groaned. "However?"

"He is away to Russia to visit his relatives…His mother died."

"I'm sorry" I said honestly. I might not have lost someone per se, but it hurt a lot when Marie left, I hadn't seen her since then…it was as she died in a way.

"He will be back, but we needed someone to cover him for a few days. Someone Lissa can trust blindly and…"

"Please Rose, don't tell me you are coming here!" I said with urgency automatically turning around to look at the corridor. I spoke too loud, and I knew Adrian heard me. "You can't do that" I added on a much quieter tone, almost whispering. "Ad—Ivashkov is not really doing so well, but he is getting better…I think. If you come here…if you come here it will destroy him once more. Give him time."

"You care about him." She simply said, and her tone was so neutral I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not.

"I—no of course not!" I scoffed. "But I have to share a space with him, you know. Moppey and drunken are not fun to be around."

"I never meant to hurt him, you know."

"That's not my business."

"He is a good guy… He deserves someone who will love him completely."

"I really don't care Rose." I said, as professionally as I could.

"I'm not coming" she finally said, and I was glad she couldn't see me close my eyes in relief. "Dimitri is." She added making me grimace.

Dimitri Belikov was maybe better than Rose, but he was far from being the ideal either. Adrian would see the guy Rose were in loved with, everyday…It was bad.

"Why are you telling me that?" I finally asked.

"I don't know" she admitted after a while. "I thought that maybe—"

"Maybe what?"

"That you guys were friends, that maybe you could help ease the news."

"Oh yes it such easy news to share." I sighed. "It won't be for long right?"

"No. Three or four days max."

"Fine…Is…" I clear my throat. "Is, you know, anybody else in danger?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"You are safe Sydney, you are only human really. Sorry to say it like that but nobody here really see humans as being a threat plus you are an alchemist, you're useful." She replied misunderstanding me. I had not been afraid for myself, no for a minute.

"I…yea and what about Ivashkov?"

"Adrian? I don't see why he would be in danger. ..As long as he is not doing anything stupid or reckless."

I had a little humorless laugh. "You know we're talking about right?"

She sighed. "Just ask one of the guys to keep an eye on him."

I started to fidget with the little golden cross I wore. _I'll keep him safe _I thought with a surge of protectionism that surprised myself. _Where did that come from? _

"Syd?" And I realized I didn't answer.

"I'll figure something with Eddie. "

"You will tell him don't you? It will be worse if you wait Dimitri to come."

"I'll tell him, and in the meantime, please find the threat and kick his ass for me. It's really making my exile harder than it has to be."

"Sure…I bet it's a hardship. Well sorry got to go, talk to you soon" she said hanging up before I even got a chance to ask what she meant by that

I looked at the phone for a minute cursing fate. Adrian was getting better, I could see it day after days, and I really hope that having to face Dimitri would not make him relapse.

He was not the stronger guy, and his vices were anchored deep in him.

I took the direction of Adrian's bedroom and raised my fist to knock but stopped myself just before as my lips were still tingling from his kiss….my first kiss. I didn't even know what I was expecting for tomorrow. I shook my head, maybe it was better this way, I would tell him tomorrow morning.

"Goodnight" I whispered to the door before going to my own room.

I couldn't help but look at myself in the mirror. I was still the same I looked just the same.

I groaned throwing myself on the bed. _How could you be so stupid? _I chastised myself. It was just a kiss you idiot! _What did you expect? To turn into a mermaid? Idiot_.

I fell asleep trying to think about everything, but my mind kept going back to Adrian. How will he react to Dimitri being here? What did Matt mean when he said Adrian was protective of me? Why did Rose thought I cared? I sighed. So many questions with no answers.

I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep, but there was a bright sunshine in my room, and a major headache in preparation, questioning things were no good…I knew that.

When I walked back into the living room, I couldn't help but sigh at the two empty bottles that were now resting on the coffee table and to the snoring Adrian on the sofa.

I was sure now he had heard my conversation with Rose, and the only thing I wanted to do was scream at him to grow up and toughen up a bit. Life was not easy and was not supposed to be easy! He had potential, he could be someone…Why was he so weak?

I rolled my eyes, and walked to the kitchen to make some coffee. I really didn't feel like dealing with the deeply hangovered Adrian, he was never agreeable to be around.

I had just poured myself a cup of coffee when I heard a barstool being dragged very loudly.

I turned around not surprised to see Adrian's scruffy face and bloodshot eyes.

"Don't even bother" he grumbled trying to sit straighter. "I know only too well what you think and newsflash…I don't care."

I shrugged dismissively. "Well you shouldn't worry, my opinion of you can't get any lower than it is." And that was an outright lie I was disappointed, I thought he could be a better man he just didn't feel like trying.

"I'm sorry" he said.

I looked at him startled_. Could he see my disappointment_? "Sorry?"

"For kissing you last night. It was a stupid joke and really tasteless."

I gestured dismissively thanking God he didn't know he was my first kiss ever. "It's already forgotten, it was not very memorable to be honest." I forced a chuckle. "Coffee?"

He nodded rubbing his chin covered of stubble. "Coffee seems like a good plan right now."

I poured him a cup and did my best to avoid his eyes, I was too scared of what he might see there.

"Jill is coming back today."

"I know" he said looking down at his cup.

"Jill was in danger. They had to bring in another guardian and -"

"I said I know!" He snapped looking up. "Belikov is coming I got it Sydney no need to draw me a picture."

"I'm-" I shook my head and walked back in my room closing. How could you both like and hate someone?

I was already imagining his behaviour when Belikov would be around, and it made me even happier that I had school.

Hell would break lose I knew it already.


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N**: Hey guys!

I know it took over a week for me to post a new chapter but with work and the exams coming it's CRAZY. I used some of teaser quotes from Bloodlines in the story, I sure hope you appreciate.

Please guys show me some love and review .

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, wistful thinking.

**Chapter 8 :**

I received a text late afternoon from Eddie telling me that they were parking in the building now.

Adrian was in his bedroom where he spent the entire day, and I had to admit I preferred it that way. I had been able to keep a straight face while he was sipping his coffee. I was way too proud to show him that I had been fooled by his recent attitude and expected him to be less…well…less of a wimp really.

As soon as they opened the door, Jill ran toward to me, pulling me into a hug while burying her face into my neck.

I stood frozen for a while; I was not very familiar with such display of affection, especially coming from someone like her…a Moroi. I mechanically wrapped my arms around her, and threw a puzzled look to Eddie who simply shook his head wearily.

I looked behind him, still hugging Jill and met Dimitri's dark eyes. He was standing by the door, looking fierce, tall, and powerful. I could see why Rose loved him, they were so alike but as far as beauty was concerned I didn't think he had anything on Adrian.

"So how was the week?" Asked Eddie, finally breaking the awkward silence.

I made a small grimace while rubbing Jill's back. "I was okay. Yours?"

"I hated it!" Said Jill letting go of me. "I don't want to go back, ever! I don't like it there!" She added, storming out of the living room.

"That well?" I asked to Eddie once she left.

"Even better." He sighed. "But," he pointed to the general direction of Jill's bedroom after hearing the door slam loudly. "You get the general idea."

I nodded silently. I was starting to know Jill pretty well, and she was not a drama queen, something had to set her off. "I'll talk to her."

"Good luck with that." Replied Eddie with a snort.

"She'll talk to her" replied Dimitri with his deep, slightly accented voice.

He had been so quiet since they arrived; I almost forgot he was here.

"Guardian Belikov" I said formally.

"Sydney" he replied with a small smile playing on the corner of his lips.

I knew I was being silly, with everything we went through together, I should have called him Dimitri, but I didn't know why I couldn't or maybe I did know why, I just didn't want to accept it.

"Where is Ivashkov?" Asked Eddie, walking in the kitchen probably to get a snack. That guy was always eating something. He was actually lucky to be in the gym at least 3 hours per day or he'll end up weighting 300 pounds.

"In his room" I replied joining him in the kitchen.

"I see you told him about Dimitri tagging along" he said, pointing to the recycling bin full of spirit bottles.

"Yes he knows."

"He was doing so much better recently." Said Eddie, shaking his head sadly. I knew he liked Adrian and didn't like seeing him destroy himself.

"At least he is not using spirit so much…well I don't think so" I said really hoping I was right. The spirit was always pushing him to drink…I really hope that the major relapse was only due to Rose and Dimitri.

"Still drinking as much as he ever did." Stated Dimitri walking in the kitchen.

I shrugged. "It got a lot better" I said sounding slightly defensive. It was true the drinking went down from when we first moved in together, but I didn't know really what it was compared to before Rose entered his life.

"Let me show you our room" said Eddie with his mouth full.

"I'll go have a word with Jill." I said taking her suitcase on the floor.

"I will need to show Dimitri the surroundings." Added Eddie.

I nodded.

"I would be better if Sydney did that." Replied Dimitri.

I was so surprised by that statement that I didn't even see Adrian appear beside me.

Adrian snorted. "That is a ludicrous idea! She is completely useless as far as security Is concerned…no offense Sage" he added with a smug, cocky grin I hadn't seen on his face for a long time and its return saddened me somehow. "Belikov…Nice to see you again."

His lack of confidence infuriated me so much that I wanted to kick him in the shins so hard he wouldn't be able to walk for days!

"Lord Ivashkov" Dimitri bowed his head. "With all due respect, Sydney might not be the best as far as strategy is concerned, but I can make my own opinion and since one guardian has to stay here to keep the princess safe…Sydney seems like the logical option."

"I don't think she would be interested" said Adrian throwing me a small sideways glance. "You could have asked me." He grinned dryly. "Don't tell me that you're not enjoying my company?"

Dimitri looked at me, ignoring Adrian last comment. "Do you want to do it?"

At any other given moment, I would have said no but since Adrian seemed to think I was unfit… "Yes, absolutely."

Dimitri looked at his watch. "Let's go now then."

I went to see Jill, and promised her a girl night with pizza and even if she wanted to look smug she had a small smile.

"You are close of her" stated Dimitri as we walked to the pizza place.

I shrugged. "She is just a kid, and she doesn't have anyone. She is the one who have seen her life completely changed with no fault of her own but everybody is only concerned about Queen Vasilissa! People should cut the kid a break" I snapped not even realizing the level of anger I had in me before lashing out.

"I care" he simply replied, keeping his face as cool as stone taking in the surrounding. That guy was impossible to read.

I snorted shaking my head. "Just because she is the throne safeguard."

He turned to me quickly as if he wasn't expecting my comment. Did he expect something else? "Think whatever you like but it's not the case" he replied looking to the small alley besides the building, taking a couple of steps in it. "it's always sad to see a child lose the last of innocence they have."

"What happened to her there?" I asked not able to hide my curiosity anymore.

"I was supposed to protect her, and I failed." He said with clear defeat in his voice.

I looked at him and had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I thought Alchemists well self-righteous, but they had nothing on that guy.

"You are not God, and you are not a robot…nobody is perfect." I took a deep breath. "Anywaym that's not what I was talking about. She is a kid, but she is not idiot. She knows her life is in danger…much more than usual Moroi, it wouldn't have upset her that much."

"I'm afraid you will have to ask her yourself, she is not very communicative."

I was surprised by that; Jill was the kind of kid to never shut it. "I'll figure something" I replied getting in the pizzeria.

"Why did you want me to come with you?" I finally ask as we were on our way back to the apartment. I knew it might be my only chance to ask him.

"What do you mean?"

I snorted. "Really…How stupid do you think I am? You didn't need me to get a look at the area. You wanted to get me alone, and the question is why?"

"I know you are not the kind to wrap your words in nice little bows to come out nice, you say things the way they are even it hurts."

I nodded. I used to be like that before I tried to make Adrian feel better, before I started to have that weird feeling in my stomach each time he was looking at me…A feeling that was almost like when you have a stomach bug but not quite…I had no idea what It was. "What is it then?"

"How are things?"

"What do you mean by 'how are things'? Do you mean for me? In general? Or for a certain Royal Moroi?"

"I think you know the answer to that question, don't you?"

I gave him a wry smile. "Well I'm doing just fine even if I'm that close to end up in Christian brainwash camp."

"Is he adapting?" Asked Dimitri. "You know I can't help but feel guilty. I knew he loved her, and I stole her anyways."

I took a deep breath and sighed. "You shouldn't feel guilty. To be honest she was never his, even when she denied it, she was yours, she has always been yours, and I think…I think deep down he knows that. I think he is angrier at himself than at you. It's just…He is still in deep, like a recovering drug addict." I had a sad smile, I, unfortunately, knew only too well what a recovering drug addict looked like.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that she is all he sees when he closes his eyes. No matter how much he tries to forget her. No matter how much he drinks she is always there…Lurking in the corner in his mind. He can pretend otherwise, but I can see the look in his eyes, the pain mixed with longing, I'm not the most observant person but it's obvious. He loves her and probably always will…" I looked up at Dimitri but he was looking away. "Not really what you wanted to hear, right?"

He looked down at me, and he looked more thoughtful than ashamed. "I believe you, but it's not necessarily true."

"What is not necessarily true?" I asked hurriedly as we got into the elevator.

"That he will always love her. My grandmother always says that everything happens for a reason, and I start to believe it's the case. I hadn't seen such protectiveness in a long time." And he smiled. "It will work out."

"What will work out? Who is protecting what?"

Dimitri patted my shoulder before resting his hand on top of it. I was a straight A student, a good daughter and a good alchemist. I was not a child who you could pat on the shoulder. "You'll figure it out by yourself."

I opened my mouth to answer when the doors opened on Adrian.

He looked at Dimitri's hand resting on my shoulder.

"Bonding? That's cute" he said with his cocky sarcastic smirk. I hated that smirk. Adrian was so perfect when he was smiling a real smile but it was so rare, I was almost started to think I imagined that.

"I brought pizza; you want some?" I said stupidly. I just wanted him to stop looking at me as if I did something wrong.

Adrian snorted. "I have plans, I'm going out."

"Adrian—" I started but stopped when he glared.

"I don't think that's wise" added Dimitri apparently not impressed by the glare.

Adrian pressed on the elevator button. "Duly noted guardian, have fun at your slumber party."

Dimitri let go of the door.

"You let him go"? I asked incredulous.

"We all have choices to make…" He smiled." He'll be okay. He has you." He added before disappearing in the apartment.

"I…What?" I asked stupidly alone in the corridor. "Why do I even have to do in this equation?" I asked, or rather shouted as I got back in the apartment.

Eddie looked at me curiously.

Dimitri simply shook his head. "Go to Jill, she needs you. We'll talk tomorrow."

I put the pizza on her desk as she was on her bed, pretending to read a book but I knew better.

"Come on talk to me" I said nudging the Pizza toward her." I even order half of your horrible pizza…meat lover with pineapple" I added grimacing, and crossing my eyes.

Jill didn't manage to contain a small smile, and I knew I had won.

"I won't go back there…ever" she said her face set with determination.

I tried to stop myself from laughing. "You'll have to, eventually."

"Then you are coming with me, at least I don't feel like you hate me."

I would probably love to go at the Court as much as a bullet though my skull. "They don't hate you" I replied soothingly.

"She does, I can see it in her eyes. She doesn't care about me. If the throne was not in jeopardy, she would send me to Hell."

I open my mouth to say it was all in her head, but I knew it wasn't true. "She doesn't hate you, it's just…"

"Just what?"

I shook my head. "Her parents died you know, and well I think she always had this idea of the perfect family, the perfect father who loved his mother more than anything and you appeared, destroying that image of a perfect family, her father…the father she thought was perfect turned out to be a lying cheater." I took a deep breath. "And every time she sees you, she is reminded of all that."

"But it's not my fault!" Jill almost cried out.

"Deep down she knows that, just give her time and she'll come around." I said hoping that all the nice things Rose told me about Lisa were true.

She frowned." But you'll come right?" She asked again stubbornly.

"We'll see when the time comes." I replied evasively.

"Yeah, you'll come with me" she added, nodding as she was working on a plan in her head.

I simply smiled biting on a pizza slice. She was getting better, I didn't need to upset her just now.

Jill was probably exhausted as she fell asleep when I was still with her.

When I made it back in my room, I decided to check my emails before getting to bed.

The first email was from Ian.

"_Hi Syd, _

_Sorry for being such an ass with you the other day. I have a way to make it up to you…I think I found your way out of this hell house. Give me a call" _

I looked at the screen mouth opened with surprise. A way out? That should have made me happy, but the scary part was that, for once, I wasn't sure I wanted a way out.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N**: Hey guys!

See I posted this chapter earlier and it's longer than usual. I also made a video on Youtube on how Sydney & Adrian. It's loosely based on my novel and it's titled: '_**Sydney and Adrian: Foolish Game?**_' Check it out.

Here again I tried to incorporate the quotes from the trailers (Adrian's trailer) to the storyline. I really hope you'll enjoy and please don't forget to review it really keeps me going.

Thanks

Steffy2106

**Chapter 9**:

The next morning I was so relieved to go to school that I could have cried of happiness. I always loved school, and I sincerely believed that books were my friends, but since I moved here, it was all different. It was not the kind of school I ever been in, but today, just thinking I wouldn't have to be in the same space than Adrian and Dimitri, made school as attractive as a science fair to me.

I also had the Ian _'I can get you out' _issue to deal with, but it would have to wait until I figured what I wanted to do well….I knew what I wanted to do I just had to figure how to do it.

Jill came a few minutes before school and asked me if I could braid her hair. I knew she could do it by herself, but I also knew she was craving the attention and I was pleased enough to comply.

When we came out to go to school, I was not really surprised that Adrian was nowhere to be seen….I sighed I knew he had classed in the morning, and I also knew he would skip.

"Give me a minute, I forgot something" I said rushing down the corridor but I didn't stop in front of my bedroom I continued down to Adrian's room. If he didn't want to try to put his life back on track, I would try to do it for him.

I opened the door of his room, ready to reach for anything and throw it at him, but his bed was empty which stopped me right on track.

"Do you need anything?" I heard Adrian deep voice from my right.

I turned briskly, and my eyes stopped on his bare chest. His skin was ultra white and he was lean, but his chest was a lost more developed than I thought it would be.

"See something you like?" He asked with a light chuckled.

I finally looked up, blushing furiously. He was drying his hair with a towel. "Ummm what?" I shook my head. "Please you are a creature of the night, how could I ever like that?" I said cursing myself, willing for the blush to go away. "I just wanted to wake you up, you have a class this morning."

"Does it mean you care about me little alchemist?" He teased.

I snorted and walked out.

"Why are you dressed in sweats?" I asked Eddie, realizing he was not wearing his usual guardian outfit.

"I'm coming to school with you."

"Uh?"

Dimitri was playing with the car keys. "There were three attempts made against the princess' life in the past few days. It might be daytime and it might be a crowded school, but there is nobody to keep an eyes on her there."

"I'm the new assistant coach" Eddie grinned.

"And you were going to tell me when?" I asked him, somehow hurt not to be in the secret.

"I'm telling you now."

"I…never mind, we're going to be late." I added dismissively.

The drive was silent. When Dimitri left us, I let Eddie and Jill go first before turning around to talk to Dimitri.

"Are you going back to the apartment?"

Dimitri nodded, taking off his dark aviator sunglasses. "I needed to see how we can increase the security to make sure nobody…how gifted they might be, can get in. Why?"

"If," ummm I cleared my throat. "Please don't antagonize him, he is not doing so well, and you know since he is a spirit user he is feeling everything much more strongly than anyone else."

Dimitri smiled before putting his glasses back on. "Sure Sydney."

"I-" I wanted to say it wasn't something personal, but the second bell rang definitely making me late.

When I made it to English, the class already started, but Matt, God bless him, had kept me a seat.

"It's nice to join us miss Sage." Said the teacher sarcastically.

I blushed and looked down at my book.

"Are you alright ?" whispered Matt.

I simply nodded, keeping my eyes on the book.

"Sorry I didn't call you." Said Matt as we exited the class.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you sorry?" I asked confused. "I didn't expect you to call me…" I frowned trying to remember our date, but the only thing that keep flashing in my mind was Adrian's lips on mine. _You are confused because it was your first kiss ever….get a grip Sage! _I chastised myself. "Did you say you would call me?"

"I…no I didn't" he said and I could hear some defeat in his voice.

"Are you okay?"

He smiled tentatively. "You are just very hard to talk to. A normal girl would have expected me to call her all week-end for me to invite her to another date, and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have called because I'm not supposed to show that I really wanted to see her again."

"So you were not busy you just…followed your stupid rules? So it's a game?" I asked not able to hide the slight disgust in my voice.

"No! I'm not playing. I…I'm sorry really, I just never met a girl like you and you keep me on my toes I have no idea what to do with you."

"Just be normal." I shrugged. "I don't do games and secret message and stuff like that."

This time his smile was sincere. "Would you like to go to the dance with me next week end after the winter show?"

All color drained from my face, I had forgotten that! It was already the end of the trimester…Christmas was just around the corner.

"Hey, Are you alright?" He asked, resting his hands on my shoulders.

"I forgot."

"The dance?"

"Both" I admitted.

"It's cool. For the song just improvise something."

"I have to go" I said, turning around rushing to my second class. I didn't need to show late to that one too.

"What about the dance?" he shouted after me.

"Yes!" I shouted back just before entering the classroom.

I was half way through my chemistry class when I realized it. I was going to an actual ball, with a boy! I grinned. _See Ivashkov, I'm not completely useless as far as boys are concerned. _I could already imagine him when I'll tell him as smugly as possible.

I called Ian at lunch, knowing it was better to do it from here, it would give me an excuse to hang-up since I was at school.

Ian told me that he convinced David to talk to the Council to reduce my punishment.

I grimaced, David Turner was the Alchemist version of Dimitri Belikov. He was a 22 year old 'know-it-all', he had the respect of everybody, even the elders but I hated him. He was the perfect match for Marie, everybody was seeing them together and then…when she needed him the most, he turned his back on her and stood with the council.

I didn't want anything coming from him and Ian knew that, it was like a let down.

I would speak to David, give him a call and tell him not to bother. He was the enemy to me and always would be.

The same day, the music teacher reminded us that we needed a song ready for the show. We didn't need to intend reversal…it only needed to be creative. We could change the lyrics of a song, mix songs together…anything, the sky was the limit and I had about two weeks to figure it out.

Jill was getting a dance lesson so I was giving a tutoring lesson to Matt.

Matt was grinning when I made it to the lab.

"Can't believe you said yes" he admitted.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You didn't seem to have enjoyed our date so much so…"

"I did, I'm sorry if it didn't show."

"You're different."

"You have no idea."

He chuckled, "I like that."

We didn't study much during the hour we had, we organized the pick up for the ball. We decided we would go directly after the winter show as it would only be walking from the amphitheater to the main gym.

When I made it outside the sun had already set and I was not surprised to see Dimitri waiting outside the car, tensed, looking around.

Jill and Eddie followed close behind. Eddie had his hand on Jill frail back.

As we drove back I started to imagine the discussion I would have with David, what he could do with his help while letting my eyes wander in the surrounding.

As we stopped at the traffic light about three blocks from the apartment I froze. There was a car parked in front of a shady bar…it was unsanitary just to look at it but I would have recognized this Audi R8 with the personalized '_Ibite_' license plate anywhere.

"Stop!" I said as the traffic light turned to green.

"What is it?" Asked Eddie looking around.

"I-I need to get off."

Dimitri looked around and probably saw the car too because he unlocked the doors. "You take care, okay?"

"Are you crazy? You can't let her wander here like that, at this time."

"She has things to do. See you later" Said Dimitri, driving away as soon as I closed the door.

I turned toward the bar, and I knew I should have been scared but I was so angry at Adrian, too angry to let my fear take over.

I never realized he was actually driving his car when he was getting drunk senseless.

"Idiot!" I grumbled through grit teeth. I knew he was reckless and self-destructive but that was taking it to a whole new level.

There was a big guy all dressed in black leather, I couldn't help but fidget with my golden cross as I reached the door.

The guy put his arm across the door to stop me from getting in. "Where are you going Angel? That's not a place for good girls here" he drawled with a wolfish grin.

"I-My brother is here." I tried.

"Your brother?" He raised an eyebrow.

I pointed to the Audi.

He snorted. "Crazy Golden Boy is your brother? You sure don't look much alike sweetheart."

"It's from a different mother." I stuttered.

The guy laughed a booming, scary laugh, and removed his arm. "You can get in sweetheart, you must care a great lot to try to bullshit your way in."

I shrugged. "Thank you" I said, walking it.

The bar was exactly like in the movies, and the people in there were pretty scary. I quickly looked around and spotted Adrian at small round table in the corner.

He stood up almost immediately and I thought he saw me but he swayed his way to the jukebox.

When he came back to his table Maroon 5 '_Harder to Breathe_' was blaring. I rolled my eyes, our boy was angsty alright.

"Hey! Alchemist!" Adrian shouted as he finally spotted me.

I blushed furiously, rushing to his table. "Shhhh! Are you crazy?" I whispered angrily.

He chuckled "Do you really need to ask?"

"I…" I grabbed his car keys on the table. "That is crazy!" I said jiggling the keys in front of his face. "Driving while intoxicating that is crazy, and selfish and…and….it's like MURDER! I know Rose did-"

"Don't you EVER mention her again" he growled, punching the table. "You have no idea what you are talking about! Just shut it!"

I recoiled a bit as if he slapped me, and I took a deep breath. "I understand that you are going through a tough time." I reached for his hand. "I understand that you are hurting-"

He removed his hand from my grip and sneered, I knew it was going to be ugly. "Oh you understand, don't you?"

I nodded, and he gave me a humorless laugh.

"How many relationship did you ever have Sage uh? One? Two?" He shook his head. "I bet it's zero. How can you understand when you never loved anyone? And clearly nobody ever loved you! Please!" he spat.

It was like being punched in the stomach and I had to sit for a few seconds. People had been mean to me, but that was a whole new level. It did hit home and it hurt…it hurt more than it ever hurt before. I could feel tears filling my eyes and looked up. I would not let them fall, not in front of him. He was mean! Trying to help him had been a mistake, nobody could help him or save him, because I finally realized that he didn't want to be saved. He was self destructive, and liked it that way. I stared at the keys in my hand and almost threw them to him but I knew I couldn't do that…I was catholic, I couldn't risk people's lives.

"Let's go" I said, jerking my head toward the door.

"I'll go whenever it pleases me" he said, emptying his glass of scotch.

"Just let me drive you back, and then you can take a taxi and go wherever you want to go. Just…come please" I said not able to stop my voice from breaking.

Adrian looked at me for a second and sighed with resignation.

He swayed as he stood up and he had to wrap his arm around my shoulders as I wrapped mine around his waist when I just wanted to let him rot for the way he hurt me.

"Need some help sweetheart?" Asked the guy at the door as I was hunched under Adrian's weight.

"Nobody can help me now" I whispered, and I knew that I had some quiet tears falling down my face.

Adrian had hit home, I had loved someone who didn't love me back, loved someone who was never supposed to be mine…David has been the perfect match for my sister, he was a god to me, he could do no wrong. Maybe that was why it hurt so much when Marie had been brought in front of the Council, when they wanted to send her to camps and he simply turned his back on her….His perfect image broke then, along with my heart.

I quickly glanced at Adrian who was sleeping on the seat beside me and I let my sobs out as quietly as I could. I wouldn't do that at the apartment, surrounded by people with super hearing. They wouldn't hear me cry and I knew that Adrian was way too drunk right now to hear anything.

I parked the car in the car park and cried some more. I cried for the pain Adrian just caused me, for my broken heart, for the fact that I felt helpless, and couldn't save him. When I was done, I rubbed my eyes, grateful for the dim parking light and called Eddie to come help with Adrian.

When Eddie saw me, he frowned.

"Don't ask, just help him up know. I did my job, end of discussion." I said standing straight, putting all my walls up again.

As soon as I made it to my room I reached for my cell. I knew it was late back on the east coast and David was probably already sleeping, but I had to try to call him now before I lost my nerve.

The cell went straight to voicemail. "Ummm Hello…well more goodnight now is it? It's me Sydney….Sydney Sage" I wanted to slap myself, how could I sound so retarded? "Ian told me you can maybe do something for me. Ummm call me back when you can. I have school but you can reach me between 12 and 1. I-ummm well call me." I hanged up.

_That was brilliant alright_. I threw myself on my bed looking at the ceiling.

_Nobody ever loved you_. Adrian's words were playing in my head over and over again like a litany.

I closed my eyes, clutching the pillow to my chest. It was a mistake to think I could stay here, with them, I did not belong here, it was not my world, not my life. I had to be with my own people, people who couldn't hurt me half as much as Adrian did tonight.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N: **Hi guys!

See I'm posting early because you were so awesome in your reviews and i made it EXTRA long.

I did a promo for this story on Youtube it's a bit spoilerish and called "Bloodlines Rebirth" by Steffy 2106 please check it out.

**Erratum: The ball will take place the day after the winter show, not the same day. **

Please don't forget to review I love you guys!

Thanks,

Steffy

**Chapter 10**:

The next day I left early, so early that I was sure they were all sleeping. School was pretty far, but the bus system was pretty good here, One of the up side to live in a rich part of town I presumed.

I kept checking my phone on the way because David hadn't called yet…Would he call me? A few years ago I would have said yes in a heartbeat. He was always there for me…well I thought he was. What about now? It had been a couple of years since I saw him. Years I spent hating him, years during which he didn't even try to make it right between us. He didn't care about me, he never did, and he was probably gloating knowing he had me on a leach.

"Do you want to go off campus with me for lunch today?" Ask Matt, waiting for me after my AP physic class.

I smiled. Nobody ever loved me, but that boy clearly liked me…I had no idea why, but he did and I should take advantage of this. "Do we have time?"

He winked. "You might not appreciate the fact that I'm one of the school superstar, but some do," He teased. "I was at the office when I found out Mr. Jeston is not here to day which means…"

"I have a free period after lunch." I agreed.

"So are you game?" He asked, burring his hands in his jeans pocket.

I nodded. "Sure let me just put my things in my locker, and we'll be good to go."

I had just closed my locker when I felt someone beside me…I could feel him before I saw him.

"Sydney could I have a word with you?"

I turned around. Adrian was standing in the corridor in his long sleeve shirt. He had his sunglasses in one hand, and he seemed to be suffering from a major hangover. _Good! _He had to suffer too.

"I'm at school now, and I'm about to go for lunch" I gestured to Matt. When I looked at Matt, I actually took a step back. His lay back, sweet expression had switched, and he was glaring at Adrian hatefully…something I never thought was possible from him.

Adrian met Matt's eyes, but he didn't seem more impressed than that because he concentrated on me again almost immediately. "You left so early I didn't get a chance to talk to you…It's important, please" he added with the full force of his puppy eyes.

I was not sure if he was trying to compel me, but if he did, he was failing miserably. "It can wait until I get home tonight."

"No it can't. It will only take five minutes."

"You really are getting on my nerves, it's like you've got some secret beeper that come off each time Syd and I take a step in the right direction" Matt growled, with so much venom, it made me shiver.

Adrian looked up at Matt again but ignored his comment. "Please…Syd."

"Matt?" I tried not sure I was recognizing the guy that was standing beside me. "It's family stuff."

Matt looked at me and blinked, like getting out of a trance. "He is-Sure" he said. "We still need to discuss your dress for the Ball."

I smiled, reaching for his arm. "Lets meet after lunch okay? In front of the library at 1?"

He nodded. "Sure." He glared at Adrian before walking out of school.

I looked after him and sighed. "You have five minutes" I said, getting in the first classroom by the lockers.

"You have a ball? When? You are going?"

I gave him my best "_Are-you-for-real_" look. "I highly doubt you came here to discuss a ball since you were not informed. It's irrelevant." I crossed my arms over my chest. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry." He said, half-sitting on the teacher's desk.

Too little much too late. "Why are you sorry for?"

"I-I can't remember what I did or say last night, but I know I hurt you."

I thanked God for his temporary amnesia. "You didn't hurt me."

"I made you cry." He said, and I could see remorse in his emerald eyes.

"No, you did not."

"I heard you sob in the car Sydney." He sighed. "I promise, whatever I said…I didn't mean it."

"You were dreaming Adrian." I snapped. "I didn't cry, you can't make me cry but…" I forced a smile. "If you don't even remember what you supposedly said how could you know that you didn't mean it?" _Here, answer that! _

"I honestly have no idea. I do think a lot of things of you Sydney, but none of them could ever make you cry. None of them could hurt you."

I sighed. It would not work, not again…I let him hurt me much more than I should have. "There is no point."

"No point to what?"

"This pseudo-friendship. One day you asked me if you could be redeemed, and I said yes…I sincerely thought so."

"You don't anymore?"

He shook my head. "You are Adrian Ivashkov, people see you as that slightly crazy, lazy, and useless party boy and I thought…I thought I saw more in you. I KNOW there is more to you, but you are lazy and scared. You are scared to try and fail to be the one I know you can be. It's just pointless. I won't be Don Quixote…I give up."

"Don't! I-"

My phone rang, and I recognized David's number. "We're done. I have to take that, and it's private. Bye Adrian." I said turning around, showing him his presence was not required or desired anymore.

"Sydney Sage." I said as business like as I could.

"Sydney, it's David. Sorry I called you only now but I couldn't get out of my meeting earlier. Do you have time to talk?"

I turned around, and Adrian was not in the room anymore. I sighed. "Sure, I have time. My next class has been canceled." Did he just apologize? David Turner? That was a first too.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds, and I even thought I had lost the call.

"David?"

"I never thought you would call. You really must hate it there to do that."

_I love it too much, it will hurt too much if I stay_. "Yeah…"

"When I told Ian you should give me a call, I somehow expect you to tell me to stick my help where the sun never shines" he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I couldn't help but smile too. If last night never happened, that was what I would have told him. He knew me well…maybe too well. "That's why you said you would help then? Because you thought I wouldn't want it?"

"Sydney…." He let out a weary sigh. "You know I will always be there for you, all you have to do is ask. Even if I barely heard your voice in the last three years."

"Yeah being here for me as you were for Marie?" I snorted. "You are here as long as we do what you consider is right."

"No." His voice was hard now. "You've never let me explain, it's not the same. You- It's different."

"How can you get out of here?" I asked, cutting him off. This conversation was 3 years overdue there was no point now.

"The Council might be able to grant you parole. You'll need to me monitored by an alchemist, a sort of mentor. Someone who is willing to take full responsibility of you."

"Wow, who will be brave enough to mentor the 'vampire lover'?" I asked sarcastically.

"I would. I would take responsibility of you."

I opened my mouth to let out a snide comment but stopped myself. "That would not be wise."

"Why?"

"It's ludicrous to imagine spending so much time with-No."

He took a deep breath, like I hurt him somehow, but I knew it was impossible. David didn't feel anything. "You will have time to reconsider, I cannot help you before the end of the Christmas holidays anyways."

"Why is that? What is so important about Christmas?"

"Apparently their new Queen required you there." The way he said 'their' showed me that he still despised Moroi as much as he ever did. "After that I'm expected to go to the Council. If I'm ready to accept the charge, and you promise to follow a set of rules you'll be out as soon as January 1st."

Jill probably already requested my presence to Lissa. That kid was really fast when she wanted something. "So if I want out, I need to spend time with you."

"Do you really hate me so much that you rather spend your time away from your world than be around me?"

"I'll think about that and….and I'll contact you soon."

"We've been friends once, you used to care" he said, and I thought I could hear a hint of nostalgia in his voice.

_Yes, and I loved you once too. _I thought. "Everything changes David. I'll call you…I…thanks." I added just before hanging up.

"You are leaving?" Asked Adrian coming in again

"You know you really should see someone for that eavesdropping habit. It's really annoying."

"You didn't answer the question" he replied walking toward me.

"That's because you have no right to ask."

"I thought you liked it here. Come on Sydney, I'm not as oblivious as you think I am. I can see you enjoy being here with us, having a regular life…Well as regular as possible when living with creatures of the nights."

"You are mistaken."

"You love Jill."

I looked away as he hadn't spoken. I didn't want him to read in my eyes.

"You like Eddie, you like that school and that Matt guy."

_Yes I do, but I love you that's why I have to go_. I thought, and that realization took my breath away.

"Sydney?" Tried Adrian. "What's going on?"

"Mademoiselle Sage?" Asked Miss Dupres entering the classroom. I had forgotten I was in the French class. "Desirez-vous assiter a ce cour? Il va commencer dans cinq minutes"

I shook my head. "Je suis desolee madame, j'ai perdu la notion du temps. Je vous verrais plus tard."

Miss Dupres smiled with an approving nod. Being fluent in French did give me a free 'out of jail' card.

Adrian caught my hand just as I exited the room. "You're fluent in French?"

"I'm fluent in 5 languages" I told him looking around, trying to find a way out. His palm was smooth against my skin and yet his touch was burning. How did that happen? How could I love him? I shouldn't have spent so much time with him…it was a colossal mistake.

"Don't go please. Whatever I did, it's not worth it. I'm an idiotic stupid alcoholic, but I need- Jill needs you."

"Let go" I whispered as the bell rang and the corridor started to fill up with students. "I don't belong here, it's not my world. It was a mistake…all of it." I turned to go but turned again to face him. "You have to get better by yourself, I can't help you. You cannot hold on to anything that wants to go Adrian." I added before turning around, getting lost in the sea of students which one of the perks of being short.

I texted Eddie later on to tell him that I wouldn't go home with them that night, that I had plans. My main plan was to go to the beach and enjoy the sun while looking at the sea moving along the breeze.

I sat on the bench, trying to figure how it happened. How did Adrian manage to steal my heart? I surely wouldn't have given it to him on purpose. Maybe that was why it didn't hurt me when I heard David on the phone. I was loosing grip…How did I get there with him? I would never know. I never thought it would go that personal, and now I was heartbroken loving a person I shouldn't love for all reasons available in the book. A person that would NEVER love me back.

I closed my eyes and started to go through the list of elements, it was the only things that really calmed me. _Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium…I love him. Boron, Carbon, Nitrogen. I'm in love with someone from the race I've been born to hate and fear. Oxygen, Fluorine, Neon, Sodium, Adrian…."_ARGH!" I shouted out loud, jumping from my spot. "What's wrong with you?"

"Me? What?" Asked a middle aged guy who was walking his dog.

"No sorry." I shook my head. "I meant with me."

"Things are never as bad as they seem to be" he said with a reassuring smile.

"That's true…Sometimes they are worse. Have a good evening."

I walked back to the apartment. I guessed Einstein was right; time and distance was relative because I made it back WAY faster than I intended to.

My walk had not been productive, but at least I had figured the song I would use for the show and how I'll personalize it.

As soon as I opened the door, Jill ran to me all keyed up.

"You are going to the winter Ball? Did you find a dress yet?"

"I…Yes I'm going. Who told you?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

She pointed behind her to an Adrian deep into a conversation with Dimitri. It was a progress at least, he wasn't too drunk, and he was in the main room.

"So did you get your dress? Did you?" She was looking at me with the full force of her puppy eyes. Did Adrian teach her that?

I didn't think about the dress. I grimaced. I was punished here which meant no money. I maybe had $300.00 on my account, and I was generous here. If I needed to buy a dress, shoes….some accessories. Yeah, I'll have to go majorly discount. "No, I don't have a dress yet."

"Oh can I come with you? Please say yes I never did anything cool!"

I looked up to Eddie who shrugged, and I quickly looked at Dimitri.

"I don't see why not. I'm going tomorrow, but Mikhail will be here."

I nodded. "Sure,we'll go on Saturday."

Jill jumped while clapping before pulling me in a hug. "It's going to be awesome!" She beamed. "I'm going to finish my homework" she said almost flying back to her bedroom.

"Are you hungry?" Asked Eddie, sitting on the sofa to watch the game. "There is some Pizza in the kitchen."

I shook my head. I had a hotdog on the beach, and I felt completely nauseated already.

"May I join you too, for the dress?" Asked Adrian as I walked past him. "A guy opinion might help."

_Crawl back into your hole and die you heart thief!_ I thought. "I'll have Eddie and Mikhail. It's enough really. I don't need you." I replied coldly, barley glancing at him.

Adrian nodded before looking at his glass on the table. "Message received."

"Good" I simply replied before continuing my way.

Saturday morning, Jill was bouncing when we made it to the mall.

"She is way more excited than you are, and she is not even going to the Ball." Said Eddie walking beside me behind Jill and Mikhail.

"Well maybe she should" I gave him a quick sideways glance. "Why don't you take her?"

"Right!" He snorted. "Every time I go to parties, it never ends well plus I'm supposed to be the assistant coach, it will be really bad taste to take a fifteen years old kid, AND the protection in an environment with so many variable would be hell."

"Good answer" I said looking at some shoes in display.

"Thanks" he grinned.

"Oh my god Sydney! Look at those dresses" Jill said, pointing frenetically.

I did my best not to roll my eyes. I had to indulge her…I never saw her as excited about anything since we moved here.

Just looking at the name of the store it looked expensive. There were only three models in display, and I immediately fell in love with the dress in the middle. It was possibly the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. It was a blood red with spaghetti straps low cut dress with a hugging body and a little flair at the bottom. The bodice was covered of sparkly thing before flaring nicely (Link to the dress on my profile). I was self conscious…I couldn't wear that! I was not the Moroi double 0 model size nor was I Rose perfect toned size 6.…I was just a human size 10, nothing attractive in those people eyes, nothing attractive to his eyes.

"Sweetie I really don't think it's in our price range, and I wouldn't wear any of them."

"Come on we've got time lets check the price." She said already getting in the shop.

"Unless I won the lottery" I whispered to Eddie as we followed her in the shop.

He chuckled. "You would share, right?"

I grinned bumping his side. "Yep."

"Excuse me? How much for the dress in display?" Asked Jill to the saleswoman turning her back.

She turned and looked at Jill with so much disdain that I almost wished her ill. But when she looked up and saw the two obvious bodyguards, her expression changed. Yes, now Jill smelled like money…Vulture.

"Which one?"

Jill turned around to look at me before shrugging. "I don't know…the red one?"

"Umm this one cost $4200."

"Holy smokes!" I shouted before I could contain myself.

The woman looked at me, and her expression turned disdainful again…I was obviously the help. "Well it's an original Beth Thompson…it's the finest fabric, and it's diamond powder."

"It could be made with unicorn hair for all I care." I mumble making Eddie chuckle and Mikhail smile.

The woman turned cold apparently not used to be laughed at. "Do you need anything else?" She asked clearly dismissing us.

"Come on Jill lets go" I said resting a hand on her shoulder.

I managed to direct Jill to the department store without any other stop. As soon as we made it to the prom section I went to the sales rack. The choice was pretty limited, and there was maybe three dresses that were both my size and wearable.

"Why do you go there?" Asked Jill puzzled. "You have much more choice here" she said pointing to the new collection.

I shrugged." It's not even prom, and I'll wear it only once." I smiled. "I really want to spend as little as possible." _Plus I'm totally broke _I added to myself.

"But…" She pouted. "There are not a lot of choices."

I laughed, "Come on, we can go buy some stuff for you after if you want."

Eddie threw me a weary look, but it did the trick. Jill warmed up immediately.

I settled for a simple black dress, and I was pleased it was the second demark which meant I paid the dress $59.00, my kind of price.

"Go ahead, I'll catch up with you" I said to Eddie, Jill and Mikhail as we exited the store.

They nodded. "Meet us at the Gap" said Jill pointing to the second floor.

I gave her the thumb up and waited for them to take the escalator before taking the direction of the shop we had been at before.

I stood in front of the display, stood on my toes, and looked at my reflection as if I was wearing that red dress.

In an alternate world where I might have been uber thin and toned…I would be rich and wear that dress and Adrian…Adrian would have eyes just for me. I wouldn't be human, and he wouldn't be Moroi.

But it was this world, I was a human alchemist quite chubby based on their standards, and he was a rich vampire broken, maybe even broken beyond despair.

I closed my eyes, resting my hand on the display. "Please, God help me…hear my words and free me" I whispered before taking the direction of The GAP.


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N: **Hey guys!

Yes it's me, I know it has been 3 weeks since I last updated but I had exams for two weeks and work was a bit crazy too. But I promise I'll do my best to update more regularly from now on.

If you want to see the dress there is a link on my profile for you to check out.

Okay now I'll stop boring you.

Don't forget to review you know how much I love reading you.

Take care,

Steffy2106

**Chapter 11**:

I was getting ready for the winter show, and just thinking about being around all those people was making me sick in my stomach. I couldn't believe I had signed up for it. What was I even thinking that day?

'_Don't worry that whole show is just a major joke, people just go on stage for a A believe me. After the two first one will have been there, your stress will vanish. _' Matt had said during lunch earlier this week.

But right now I was not sure anymore.

"Ready?" Asked Jill, opening my door a little.

I nodded. I didn't want her, or Eddie and Mikhail to come but I knew it would have been pointless to try to stop her. She would have said "_we're a family; even if only temporary we need to there for each other." _

As we walked in the living room, Adrian was reaching for his car keys.

"Do you want to come with us?" Asked Jill. "I bought an extra ticket."

Adrian snorted putting his wallet in his pocket.

He turned around locking his eyes on me. "Really kid don't you think I have better things to do?" He asked her still looking at me.

"Oh…It's okay" she said, but her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"Did I forget to tell you? Adrian told me, he had a study group for his finals coming up….don't you Adrian?"

I saw Adrian eyes flicker toward Jill before looking at me again. "Yes, study group."

_In a shabby bar or a strip club…maybe both_ I added to myself.

Jill nodded, but I knew she was far from convinced, but I couldn't say I was surprised since I had been ignoring him for the past two weeks. If he had decided to come it wouldn't have made any sense, even Adrian Ivashkov had some self esteem.

Jill settled in the back with Mikhail as I took the front passenger side.

"What happened with Adrian?" Whispered Eddie so low that I barely heard him.

Jill was engrossed in a conversation with Mikhail for which I was grateful.

I shrugged dismissively. "Nothing major."

"Whatever he did, he is just stupid, but I can see he is hurt, he is an idiot, but…but he likes you."

I sighed. "I know he is having a rough time, but it's not an excuse to…lets drop it okay?"

"Whatever you say, you are the star tonight after all."

I snorted. "Yes, I'm the new Cher"

"Cher?" Eddie grimaced. "We need to work on your musical references."

Matt had been right; there were not a lot of people there, and most of them were chatting not really caring of what was happening.

I was glad to see I was 4th on the list, the sooner I would be done, the sooner I could let the stress go and maybe the voice in my head that kept repeating it was a mistake would finally shut up.

"Okay, I'm going backstage" I said to Jill, but as I turned around my face connected with something crispy and soft.

"Well that was not really the way I wanted to give them to you" said Matt sheepishly extending flowers toward me.

It was a bunch of very colorful wild flowers.

"You take care of them for me ok?" I said to Jill giving her the flowers. "It's time for me to go backstage."

I decided to sing "broken arrow" by Pixie Lott except that I changed the lyrics as if I written the song for…for the man I loved. Instead of saying "I miss him" I changed to "you miss her" or "I'm trying to convince you she wasn't worth it" instead of "you're trying to convince me, He wasn't worth it,"

I was in the middle of the song when the lighting changed, swiping the room. I looked up and almost froze mid sentence because Adrian was there, standing in the back, just by the exit.

I had expected a lot of things but certainly not Adrian coming, and I kept my eyes on him for as long as I could before the lightening changed again, blinding me. As soon as the song was done I looked up again, but the spot were Adrian had been, was now empty. Was he even here?

I shook my head getting off the stage and I could hear Eddie whistle, which actually made me smile. I was surprised to find Matt waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.

"I thought that only the ones performing could be backstage?"

Matt smiled. "Haven't you figured out yet the extent of my influence here?"

I smiled too, but couldn't help to let my eyes wander around, if Matt had influence Adrian had too, he might have been here too, waiting for me.

"Fool" I whispered

"Looking for someone?" Asked Matt, looking around.

I shook my head. "No" I forced a smile. "So, did you come to tell me how awesome I was?"

"Of course! And I have good news."

"Really? Lay on me, I could take a good news right now."

"Guess who managed to finish the science project?"

"You did? That's awesome!"

He grinned, nodding. "Come on, let me show you the results."

"Now?" I asked incredulous. "It's just…not a good time I don't want my family to worry."

"Come on! You are supposed to stay backstage until the end of the show anyways, don't you? There is still at least 50 minutes left of show…Nobody will know we're gone" he added with the full force of his puppy eyes.

I sighed. I really didn't feel like going with him now, but I knew he had been working hard for months.

"Fine, but lets be quick." I said, knowing that Eddie would be pretty mad if I went somewhere without letting him know I was gone.

Matt grin was so wide that I understood I was doing the right thing.

"Lets use the backdoor" he whispered resting his hand on the small of my back, leading me out.

The building was so dark and quiet I had goose bumps. Being scared didn't seem to be so rational but I couldn't help it. It did feel like breaking and entering to me.

I froze as soon as I opened the door of the lab, hand still on the handle.

"How?" I frowned, turning toward Matt.

"How what?"

"How did you finish the experiment? Mr. Fredericks was very clear, only I could get the keys of the chemicals cabinet?"

Matt raised his hands in surrender, but his grin turned wolfish, scary. "Ah Sydney, it took you long enough to figure that one out….not so smart it seems."

I just had the time to see his hand form into a fist before feeling a sharp pain on the side of my face.

The blow was so violent that I fell into room hitting the side of my head again the lab table making my vision blurry and I could taste blood in my mouth.

When I came back to my right mind, Matt just locked the door behind him.

"Why?" I asked, trying to crawl away from him, toward the teacher desk where I knew he was hiding his medical experience tool such as his very sharp scalpel.

Matt laughed, "you can't go anywhere little alchemist."

I stopped with surprise as some blood started to run down from my temple to my cheek. "What did you call me?"

"I kept being the perfect guy for you. PERFECT" he spat, slowly walking toward me like a predator. "But _HE_ is the one always on your mind. I buy you flowers, but you sing for _HIM_."

"What did you call me?" I tried again. Matt was just human, nothing special, he couldn't know about me.

"He is a Moroi, a vampire an abomination, and yet you want him and not your own RACE!"

"How do you know?"

He laughed. "Always the wrong questions. Why is that? You should ask what am I gonna do to you." He grinned wider. "Don't worry it will be fun, at least for me."

I winced knowing only too well what his intentions were. I was so mad, mad at me more than him. I was smart, too smart to end up in this situation.

I finally crawled close enough from the teacher's desk to reach for the drawer, but Matt wasn't as stupid as I thought he might be because I took a fistful of my hair and pulled me away.

He ripped my button down shirt, and I did my best to fight him off as he tried to go for my pants. I knew I wouldn't win, I had lost lots of blood, and I was only 140 lbs without any combat training. Matt was a huge 215lbs football player. I didn't stand a chance, but it didn't mean I had to give up, make things easy for him. I wouldn't fall without a fight.

Matt had managed to unbuckle my belt, when we heard a big, crashing sound.

Matt jumped up and sneered. "Oh here you go, you were about to miss the party."

I moved slightly and saw Adrian standing in the doorframe. He looked down at me, and I was not sure of what he saw but his face change in pure fury, I never saw him like that before.

"Look at me" said Adrian to Matt, with a very quiet soothing voice.

Matt blinked in a sort of daze.

"Go to the desk and take a pen and paper." Adrian added.

I looked at him confused, Adrian looked like he was suffering, my vision was a bit blurry, but it seemed he had some drops of sweat forming on his forehead, as if he was concentrating very hard.

Matt turned around like he completely forgot I was there, and reached for a piece of paper and pen on the desk.

Adrian walked slowly toward us. "Look up Matt, now write '_Dear mom and Dad, I can't continue like that. I'm sorry if my death hurt you, I just can't deal with all the pain I caused_.'"

I was realizing, with sheer horror, what Adrian was doing. "Adrian?" I tried, but he ignored me still concentrating on Matt.

"'_I will always love you.' _And now you sign your name." He added still looking at Matt. "Now open the window and…."

"Adrian no! Stop, stop!" I said as loud as I could, but the blood loss and the pain really started to take a toll on me.

Adrian finally turned toward me like finally realizing I was here.

"No he hurt you, he wanted to…he wanted to…He has to die!" he said pointing toward Matt. "Nobody can try to hurt you and get away with it…NOBODY!"

I would probably have been touched by such protectionism, but right now all I could think about was trying to stay awake just long enough to stop him from doing the irreparable.

"He is not himself, Adrian please believe me, he knew about what we are…he is not supposed to know who we are."

Adrian stopped and looked at me with incredulity before turning to Matt again. "Why did you try to hurt her?"

"I had to." Said Matt still under compulsion

"What do you mean you had to? How did you find out what we are?"

Matt shook his head. "I don't know I just….knew. After the movie date I didn't want to see her anymore I knew it was an epic fail but, it was like a voice in my head, a voice telling me, I had to stay close to her, that I had to hate you, hate you for trying to steal her from me."

Adrian turned to me. "Compulsion?"

I could barely keep my eyes open now. "It sure sounds like it."

Adrian sighed. "You will go home, you won't remember what I did or wo we really are. However you will remember hurting Sydney, you will continue to live with that constant guilt and so help me god you will never even speak a word to her do you understand me human?"

Matt nodded.

"Now go and remember, never even approach her again."

After Matt closed the door behind him, Adrian came to kneel in front of me.

"How are you doing?" He asked, trying to pull my shirt together.

I blushed beet red realizing my breast had been on full view this whole time but I was just too tired to let it bother me too much.

Adrian gently moved some of my hair that was on my face and I saw his jaw muscle tightened. "He hit pretty hard didn't he?" He asked and I winced as his fingertips ran down my cheek.

I felt some warmth and a tingling soothing sensation…I sighed and almost immediately got out of his reach as I realized he was trying to heal me.

"No, no healing…no magic." I managed to croak.

"Please Syd, please be reasonable" he pleaded, coming even closer. He was so close, I could feel his body heat. "You already lost a lot of blood and I really rather Jill not see you like that." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "She has seen enough."

"I look that bad?" I tried knowing I probably looked terrible.

He gave me a sad smile. "Plus, I can't really take you like that to the ball tomorrow. A black eye won't do in the picture."

It made me laugh and wince at the same time. "Yeah I think the ball idea is pretty much dead."

"I beg to differ, it's very much on! If not, what will I do with that fantastic dress of yours?"

I looked at him confused. "What dress?"

"Can I heal you?" He asked already resting his hand on my bleeding temple.

I thought of Jill, and it override my fear of magic somehow. She would probably be shocked beyond words to see me like that, and I really didn't want her to know what almost happened to me.

I could feel the magic coming from him but this time, I didn't move and let him work on me.

"Thank you" he said as if he was the one who just been healed.

I had a humorless laugh. "You saved my life, and you are thanking me? You're wrong for once."

"I don't think so" he said shrugging out of his leather jacket helping me in it. "I'm sorry" he added.

"Sorry? What for?" I asked, snuggling in his jacket, that smelled just like him.

"I shouldn't have drunk as much as I did, I should have seen something was wrong with him, but I didn't and I'm sorry."

"You are not my protector Adrian, you don't owe me anything."

_He looked at me, and for the first time, I could say he looked fierce. "I can try." _

"What do we do for Jill? She can't…She can't see me like that."

He nodded, already dialing on his phone.

"Castile? Yeah it's me…not to worry I'm with Sydney right now, she is helping me with something. Why don't you take Jill for an ice cream? Yeah, later bye." He smiled to me. "Lets go home" he added extending his hand toward me.

"You know, I really don't need to go that ball, no need to have a guilty trip here."

Adrian really laughed this time. "Do you really think that's my reason?"

I shrugged.

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life" I admitted, surprising both of us.

He squeezed my hand. "Let me show you then" he said, pulling me close walking up back to the car park.

"Go put a shirt and meet me in my room" he said mysteriously as soon as we made it back.

I put my PJ shirt and looked at myself in the mirror, expect for my crazy hair and my eyes still full of fear it was like tonight didn't happen, it was a miracle….Maybe their powers were not as demonic as alchemists thought.

When I walking into Adrian's room, the first thing that caught my eyes was the gown bag that was carefully resting on his sofa.

He gestured me toward it. "Please, have a look."

I opened the bag carefully and couldn't contain my gasp when I saw the red dressed I dreamed to get. "How? When? How?"

He chuckled. "I followed you guys that day at the mall and I saw you looking at it. It was made for you Sage, I had to get it, and really, did you honestly think I would have let you wear that dress with anyone else?"

"What do you mean?"

"It was always supposed to be me your knight for the ball princess, no one else. Non of these guys, Matt included, were ever good enough for you."

"And you are?" I asked, trying to tease him. I kept touching the dress, as to make sure it was real.

"No I'm not" he answered seriously. "But at least I know it and I will do my best to came as close as possible of it."

I smiled. "You are a good friend and a good person Adrian Ivashkov. Maybe there is hope for you after all.:

"So miss Sage, is that a yes? Would you go to the ball with me?"

I laughed. "Yes Mr. Ivashkov, it would be an honor to go the ball with you."

And right at this moment I knew I was lost. There was no turning back, no pretending. I loved him, he changed me forever….My heart and soul was his even if he didn't and would never know it.


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N**: Thanks for the reviews, you guys keep me going. Also, I don't own Bloodlines or VA. Continue to share the love with your reviews. Thanks.

**Chapter12:**

"I'm so glad you and Adrian are friends again" said Jill as she was taking care of my hair.

I should have been a bit embarrassed that a fifteen years old kid was actually helping me get ready for my first ever ball, but Jill really had a sense of style I didn't have.

"You seem overly excited about tonight" I told her, looking at her suspiciously in the mirror.

She gave me a sheepish smile. "I'm just happy you're going with Adrian."

"You know we're just friend, right? I'm human, and Alchemist, he is Moroi, and…well Adrian."

"Oh yes, yes I know" she said way too fast "I just, well, you were angry with him, and now you're not anymore which is good."

"Yea" I admitted still not convinced.

"But what happened with that Matt guy?" She asked, putting the final touch to the loose curls she made.

I simply shrugged. "It was not working out."

"I never liked him" she admitting.

"You don't say….."

Someone knocked softly at the door.

"We're not totally done yet! Go, wait in the living room."Eddie opened the door, and I was surprised to see him in dressing pants with a grey button down shirt that was matching his eyes.

"Why are you dressed that fancy?" Asked Jill, and I could see some appreciation in her eyes.

Eddie grinned. "Well they needed an extra chaperon, and since lord Ivashkov will be part of the festivity, so am I. I just wanted to inform the beautiful alchemist that her date is ready, and is pacing impatiently in the living room."

"He is not my date; he is just my friend who filled the last minute part of -" I stopped when

I saw Eddie's face. I had startle to ramble again; I took a deep breath. "I'll be right there."

"Sure, I'll tell him that."

I turned around to face Jill, I was feeling so out of place in a dress that cost more than an alchemist made in two months…maybe three.

"You look very pretty," said Jill with a big smile.

"Well I sure hope so, for that price."

Jill nodded. "That was a very nice present for a friend…It's a very expensive dress, even for Adrian, he is a great, great friend."

I frowned not really knowing what she meant by that. "Yes he is…." I trailed off, reaching for my golden cross.

"Okay lets go."

I nodded. I still couldn't believe she was not going. The ball might only be open to Juniors and Seniors; I couldn't believe that none of the guys had invited her.

She was invited; I knew she did, but she just didn't like the people who invited her so much or maybe she was just waiting for the right person to invite her.

When I walked in the living room, Adrian who was standing by the bar turned around, and my breath got caught in my throat. Adrian was always handsome with his renaissance statue face, but right now in his designer tuxedo, he was absolutely stunning, probably the most handsome man I had ever seen….even on TV. It was as he was born to be in a tuxedo.

Adrian and I stared at each other, for what seemed an eternity, and it might have been long because as Jill nudged me a little Eddie cleared his throat loudly.

"Isn't she pretty?" Asked Jill like a proud mother while readjusting some of my curls.

"No, she is not pretty" said Adrian a little breathless. "She is stunningly beautiful."

"I…" I blushed, and I hated myself for it. He was just trying to be nice to me. "You're beautiful too" I stuttered.

"Beautiful?" He arched one of his dark eyebrow. "Isn't that a bit girly?"

"Handsome?" I tried.

He chuckled. "Yea…I would have loved, '_smoking hot' _but lets go with that."

"We're going with princess?" I asked as he reached for his car keys

"Do you want to walk there?"

"No but…." I pointed to Eddie, who was talking to Mikhail.

"Are you kidding me? He is a chaperon!" He snorted. "Come on lets go Sage, we don't want them to wait for the Winter Queen."

"I'm not in the competition."

"Fools, lets make then regret that."

"You are nice" I said with a smile, looking down.

"No I'm not, I'm realistic."

We settled in the car, but he didn't leave right away.

"Are you okay?"

Adrian turned toward me. "Do you have to wear that tonight?" He asked, pointing to my golden cross.

I grabbed it, self-conscious. "Does it really bother you so much?"

"No it's…" He sighed. "I have something I'd like you to wear tonight."

I eyed him suspiciously.

He took out a long, rectangular flat box stating "Bvlgari". "It would match your dress perfectly."

I took the box and opened it. It was a magnificent ruby and diamond necklace that I was sure cost more than the house my parents lived in. "I…." I closed the box and extended to Adrian.

"Don't you like it?" He asked, and I could hear the hint of hurt in his voice.

"Like it? Of course, I like it! What's not to like?" I shook my head.

"So why won't you wear it?" He asked confused.

"I can't accept such a gift it's just not…not…"

"Not what?"

"Proper! This is not proper!"

"Proper?" He laughed a little. "How on Earth is this not proper?"

"Friends don't go around giving friends insanely expensive gifts like that."

"It's a loan."

"Loan?"

Adrian nodded. "A family friend is working at Bvlgari, and she didn't mind lending me the necklace for the night."

"Oh…." I blushed furiously. Why on earth did I even think he would buy me something like that? He just wanted to be nice, and I made a fool of myself…again.

"Would you wear it? I promise I'll take good care of your cross."

That cross was my priced possession, a present of my grandmother, one of the only people who always believed in me…In good and bad but she had died last year, making this cross even more important to me. I saw so much expectation in his eyes, as if he was expected for the proof that I really trusted him. "Yes, of course. Let's drive while I make the change."

"Thank you" he replied with his wide smile that always made me melt.

When we posed for the picture, and he pulled me close to him, resting his hand on my hip my smile froze on my lips, we were way too close, I could feel his body heat irradiating against mine, the hotness of his hand on my hip, his musky manly sent.

"Relax Sage, it just a stupid dance" he whispered to my ear, probably misunderstanding my discomfort.

"Come on lets dance" he said, intertwining his fingers through mine.

I dug my heel in which was pretty hard in stilettos.

"Sage?"

"I'm not a very good at dancing, and I usually don't wear heels that high."Adrian chuckled, tilting his head to the side, making him look even more irresistible. "But you were ready to dance with the other guy, weren't you?"

"It's different"

"How is it different? Because he was human and….and I'm not."

I shook my head. "You are used to this kind of things; you are more…graceful than he is, and I didn't intend to wear heels that high with the other dress."

"Just relax and let me lead Sage, we'll be just fine."

He didn't know that, what terrified me the most, was the closeness, him holding me tight…I didn't need him to see the effect he had on me, this attraction was a weakness, an abnormality…it couldn't be known.

After a couple of songs, I almost wanted to let go of all my good resolutions and bury my face in the crook of his neck.

"I need to use the bathroom: I said the first thing that came to mind when what I really needed was to put distance between us.

"Of course, I'll meet you by the punch bowl."

I nodded, trying to make my way through the dancer. When I reached the toilet, I noticed Eddie following me, and it angered me. I turned around and walked back to Adrian.

"You told him?" I hissed, trying to put as much anger as I could in it.

Adrian looked confused for a second before looking up. "Smooth Castile, very smooth." He looked down to me again and pulled me in a corner. "I didn't tell him everything; just enough for him to know you are a target too. If you expect me to apologize well I won't, anybody with a decent enough compulsion could have tricked that boy into hurting you, now that I know you can be hurt" he snorted "I'll do anything to keep you safe even if you are not happy. Friends protect their friends; it's the way it's supposed to be."

There was no reason, but the word 'friend' hurt me deep down even if I wanted to deny it, deny it with everything I had.

The rest of the night went pretty well, I felt like a princess in this dress, with the necklace and the Royal Moroi that did treat me like I belonged to his arms.

"So ready for Christmas?" Asked Adrian, as we drove back to the apartment.

I shrugged. "I still don't get why I have to come along" I admitted honestly.

He quickly glanced to me. "Is it a real hardship? I mean…if it cost you, I can try to have a word with Lissa and Jill."

I sighed, hurt yet again. He just admitted that he didn't mind not having me around. Part of me wanted to bail on Christmas with them. I might be comfortable with some of the Moroi and dhampirs, but it was a minority, I didn't know how I would feel surrounded by them. And I was not sure I liked the idea of seeing Adrian sulking over Rose, the green eyes monster of jealous roared just thinking about it. But the other part of me rather spend time with them than with the alchemists. I didn't need my father to remind me how a failure he thought I was, or Ian looking like a lost sad puppy with his snide comments about how my life is with the Moroi.

"Are you still with me?"

"Umm? Yes! Sorry." I shook my head. I don't mind, really. I took a deep breath as our building was coming into view. It was the end of the night; we would go back to reality…Moroi and human. "Where are we going anyways for Christmas? The Court?" I couldn't hide my grimace as I said the words.

He shook his head opening the garage door. "No we are going to the mountain, there is a nice resort really fit and created for Moroi…Lissa thinks the first Christmas as a Queen needs to be atypical."

"Aspen?" I tried, somehow please since I never been there grinned. "No, St Moritz"

"Switzerland?"

"Unless you've heard of another St Moritz I'll say yes, Switzerland."

"Wow…that is one hell of a trip for Christmas. I've never been to Switzerland."

"I'll take you for a hot chocolate with marshmallow you'll see, it's heavenly."I smiled, but stayed silent. I knew I shouldn't be glad about that, but I still felt warm in my center of my chest.

"Thanks for the night" I whispered as we walked in the silent apartment. We were going to Switzerland the next day, and I should have figured that they would go to bed early for which I was grateful. I was not sure Jill or Eddie wouldn't have seen through my façade.

"You are very welcome Sage, I had fun too I promise. Have a good night."

I looked at him retreated to his room, not really knowing what I expected from him, but the disappointment deep in my heart said otherwise.

When I walked into my room, I looked in the mirror and still couldn't believe how good I looked. I could almost forgot I was just an alchemist, a human with invisible chains. I never really complained about having a life all figured out, I liked rules and directives but now…now I didn't know anymore; I felt as if these rules were more like a weight, not my salvation but a jail.

I touched my neck, realizing I was still wearing the necklace, and Adrian still had my chain. I needed my cross to sleep.

I took my heels off and went to Adrian room.

"Come in" he said after I knocked very quietly.

When I entered, I noticed he already started to undress. His jacket was resting on the back of the chair; his bow tie was undone and he had opened a few buttons of his shirt showing part of his chest.

"Sage?" He looked surprised. "Are you alright?"

"Yea I…." I took the necklace off. "I forgot to give that back to you."

"Ah the cross….right." He took the necklace, and put it on the desk before reaching for the box in his jacket. "Oh I have something else for you" he said opening his drawer before throwing a small black bottle toward me.

"That such a weird present, do you get 2-chlorobenzalmalononitrile to your friends often?"

"Clozo…Clono. What? It's CS gas."

"Yes I know. That's what I said. "

He chuckled. "Yes, in a very Sydney Sage way."

"Why are you giving me that?"

"I…Eddie and I can't be always with you, and believe me this will stop anyone maybe not Strigoi but Human, dhampir and Moroi that will try to hurt you. Please, promise me, always, to have it on you."

"I promise."

He smiled. "I want you safe."

I took a step toward him, and reached up in an impulse to stroke his cheek, but stopped midway, it would have been crossing the line.

I was about to let my hand fall back to my side, when he caught it.

"I'm tired of that Sage."

I looked down to his long hand grasping mine. "Tired?"

He pulled me against him wrapping his free arm around my waist. "The 'cat and mouse' game" he whispered looking down at my lips. "I'm not even sure who is the cat and who is the mouse anymore."

I didn't have a chance to answer, as his lips were on mine. My conscious mind knew I should push him away, but it seemed that the rest of my mind took over as I wrapped my free arm around his neck pulling him even closer to kiss him as hungrily as he was kissing me. I was probably doing it right because I heard a low moan escape his mouth, making em kissing him with even more ardor.

He let go of my hand, and rested his on my hip. I didn't even realize what he was doing until I felt his bare hand on the top of my thigh. He probably played with the side of my dress and brought the left side up. When his palm made contact with my skin, it was like a bucket of water being thrown at me, he wanted something I didn't want to give him. He wanted sex nothing more.

I jerked away. "No!"

He seemed confused for a second; his pupils dilated. "Sage?"

"This is…wrong, all wrong!" I walked backward toward the door.

I saw hurt cross his face, and I knew he misunderstood what I meant by 'wrong' probably think I was talking about him being a vampire. It was wrong for so many reasons, but this one didn't cross my mind. It was wrong because he was still in love with Rose, wrong because he wanted sex when I wanted love.

"Stay, don't run away. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed it. I got carried away." He took a tentative step toward me making me rush so fast I banged my back to the knob. "Lets talk about this like two adults"

"Stay away" I said knowing I would cave if he were to touch me again.

"I won't chase you Sydney, I'm not doing that anymore, for anyone. If you leave now, it's done."

"It never started" I replied as a lump formed in my throat. I rushed out of the room, back to the comfort and loneliness of mine.

I knew deep down that what I did was right, that he would have played with me, never loving me, and I was not brave enough to dance within the flames.

However, there was that little voice in my head that kept shouting angrily I had probably just made the biggest mistake of my life.


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N: **Hey Guys!

I made this chapter EXTRA-LONG for you!

I'm using a quote from Neil Gaiman in this chapter as if it was Sydney's…I think it's so fitting with her that I took it, I wrote it in Italic so you would see it and don't accuse me of plagiarism :P

Please don't forget to review and tell me what you think

Take care,

Steffy2106

**Chapter 13: **

The next day, Adrian treated me with distant friendship, and I knew I screwed majorly.

If he had been angry, I could have dealt with that but polite indifference? It was hard to take.

He had warned me he told me he wouldn't chase me, and that if I ran away it was over.

How could I grieve over something that never really started?

I sat beside Mikhail in the private plane, and when he threw me a questioning glance as to why I didn't sit beside Adrian I just took my iPod and book out of my bag before mumbling a ' _I really don't want to talk about it'_

I knew it was going to be a long flight so, I picked up one of my favorite classic Anna Karenina. I didn't even realized when I fell asleep, but I was awoken by Mikhail soft nudge.

"Come on Sydney, we're about to land."

I opened my eyes, and realized that I had my head on his shoulder. Somebody had even wrapped a blanket around me.

"Sorry" I said moving, my neck sore from the position.

"Nothing to be sorry for, you looked exhausted."

"Did you cover me?"

"Who else?"

I smiled, "you are like a mother to me."

He chuckled. "Yeah…it just looked as you needed to catch a break."

I looked up and met Adrian emerald eyes.

"Slept well?" He asked politely.

"Yes thank you, I-"

"Great," he said cutting me off, concentrating on his newspaper again.

"Wonderful" I grumbled, looking out of the plane window to the Switzerland landscape.

As soon as we disembarked, we found a car and Dimitri waiting. It took all my will power not to glance at Adrian, to see his reaction.

I was staying in a room with both Jill and a guardian named Meredith. The room was so big that even having 3 beds didn't make it feel crowded.

In the room right beside us, were Mikhail and Eddie. I had to admit that Lissa did everything she could to keep her sister safe.

"The Queen would like to see you as soon as you are settled" Meredith said.

"Me too?" I asked surprised.

She nodded. "Certainly."

I opened my mouth to ask her what was the point of me going to this meeting, but I was pretty sure that the girl had no idea.

The meeting was almost as awkward I thought it would be, and I was sort of jealous that Adrian didn't need to be there, maybe being seen as a careless party boy was not such a bad thing.

Was I the only one who took him seriously? Was I the only one who saw that he could be so much more?

The next day, I was sort of happy that Jill was caught in Royal stuff with Lissa. It could give me some time to visit the small town we were staying at. When would I get a chance to go back to Switzerland?

I wanted to try the famous Swiss hot chocolate Adrian told me about, because I was pretty sure that after our fiasco, he had implicitly rescinded his invitation. I also wanted to find Eddie and ask him to give me some training, Adrian was right, I needed to keep myself safe.

When I went down, I saw Adrian sitting on a wooden chair on the back balcony. He was looking down at a glass of what seemed to be scotch. I was too far to hear anything, but his lips were moving.

I sighed, hating the idea that him being him around Rose might cause him hurt. I took a step toward the balcony, wanting to make amend, maybe save some of our friendship, but all the sudden I froze when I saw a mass of dark hair. Adrian was not alone on the balcony he was with Rose.

She sat beside him and reached for his hand. I felt something new in the pit of my stomach it was deep, and it hurt…Jealousy, damn jealousy. I was not her, I would never be her…not that I wanted to be, but what frightened me the most was realizing that I wanted to become her in his eyes.

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath before taking the opposite direction of the balcony, ending up to the Hotel bar was quiet at this time, but it was pretty early in the Moroi world, and most, if not all, of the complex was occupied by Moroi, dhampirs and human blood supplies. The last thought made me shiver.

"What can I do for you?" Asked the barmaid, eying me in a critical way.

I could see he was trying to decipher what I was, before concentrating on my neck…he knew exactly what his clients were, I was sure of that.

I decided to go crazy and try something with alcohol in it. It seemed to help Adrian when he was depressed it might help me too.

"Can I get a cocktail please?"

The guy looked at me with laughter in his eyes, probably realizing it was all wrong for me to be there.

"What about a 'Sex on the Beach' ?" He said taunting.

I couldn't help but blush, and I hated it. I stood straighter, "Nah, I'd take a Long Island Ice tea" I replied, silently thanking the movie that was on TV last night.

The guy seemed taken aback for a second, but nodded and started to prepare my drink. I saw him pour a shot of vodka, a shot of rum, a shot of gin and a shot of triple sec before adding some lemon and Coke with a straw.

Just looking at the drink, I could feel the ethylic coma approaching. I sipped quickly, and I was pleased to notice it didn't taste too much like alcohol. I took a long sip of it.

"Hey be careful doll, this one goes straight to the head."

I nodded, before going to sit on a table in the far corner. As I was progressing with the drink, I was not worrying so much anymore. There was some warmth that was settling in my chest, and I liked that feeling it was nice.

They should take Long Island bottles to an expedition to the great north! Drunk Santa I though and start to laugh.

"Hey Guy! Can I have another one?" I shouted to the barman.

He simply chuckled "Sure!" He said, preparing the second cocktail.

I was at my third Long Island when someone sat at my table.

"Syd damn it! We've been looking for you for the last hour! People are going crazy."

"Rose, Rose Hathaway….little Rosie….Rosebud…buddyyyy. Nice in the outside but full of poisonous thorns."

"I, what?"

I sighed finishing my drink, before waving the bartender for a refill. "You poisoned his blood, and there is no antidote. I can't be that antidote….I'm trying, but it just doesn't work."

"Syd you are losing me now. How many of those did you have?"

I grasped the full glass the bartender just brought. "Counting this one?"

She nodded.

I laughed. "It's my super secret, I'm like Vlaski."

"Who? Syd I think you had enough."

"Why don't you just let him a chance to heal? Give him the antidote Rose, he needs to get on with his life."

"Adrian?"

I snorted. "Who else?"

"You…Sydney! You like Adrian?"

"I…no, maybe, yes, it doesn't matter even Babinski won't get that."

Rose looked at me, mouth half open. "Syd…that's so…huge."

"But shhhhh, it's a secret."

"I…sure. Wow. Hey bartender hit me! No damn, Dimitri will bitch for an hour if I smell like alcohol." She sighed. "A coke will be just fine….diet, make it diet."

I snorted "yes like your body needs to be even more perfect."

"What? There is no competition, you know that! You are mistaken Syd he is not so hooked anymore, I realized he was healing…I think-"

"Oh there is a Karaoke machine!" I jumped from my seat and staggered, probably due to a head rush, but the wall was here to keep me up straight. "Hey can I sing?" I asked the bartender.

The guy looked around the room. There was maybe about 15 other person who really didn't seem to care. He gestured me to the stage, "Please be my guest."

"Syd I don't think-"

"I'm a peacock you gotta let me fly!" I replied getting on stage turning on the machine going through the repertoire of songs. I found the perfect song.

"This is for the dream walker who is also a heart stealer!" I said in the microphone as Toxic by Britney Spears started.

_Baby, can't you see I'm calling_

_A guy like you should wear a warning_

_It's dangerous_

_I'm fallin'_

I shook my booty like I never did before, and people were actually cheering. Alcohol worked in mysterious ways it helped with my inhibitions, but also made me so light headed, it made me feel good.

_There's no escape_

_I can't wait, I need a hit_

_Baby, give me it_

_You're dangerous_

_I'm lovin' it._

I was lost in the song, but I still heard Rose argue with someone, and it was annoying.

"Why did you let her get on stage?" the male voice said.

"Oh come on, she can have fun! Who are you to judge? Eternal party boy."

"It's different!" He spat. "She can be sent away because of that. If the alc- If her people find out about that, it will be a one way ticket home."

"And you would be sad, wouldn't you?"

"Woulnd't you?"

"Not for the same reasons."

I shook my head, they were so serious it was killing my buzz. I had to finish my song, it was stupid, but it seemed that if I could finish it, everything would be alright in the world.

_With a taste of your lips_

_I'm on a ride_

_You're toxic I'm slipping under_

_With a taste of a poison paradise_

_I'm addicted to you_

_Don't you know that you're toxic_

_And I love what you do_

_Don't you know that you're toxic_

Somebody caught my free hand, "Come on Sage lets go."

"No I need to finish my song."

The guy locked eyes with me. "No, you need to let go now and follow me."

I felt a weird pull, like my mind was not my own anymore. I shrugged putting the microphone on the table, the song didn't seem that important anymore.

I was probably more tired than I though I was, because it was hard for me to walk a straight line, luckily the guy was helping me to keep straight with his arm tightly around my waist.

He stopped by the barman. "What did she drink?"

"Who are you to ask? Her father?"

"Your worst nightmare if you don't answer right this second. You know who I am, you know what I am."

"Four Long Island iced tea."

"Full dose?"

"Yep, we don't cheat on the merchandise here."

"Idiot!" The guy said angrily, resuming our exit. "Why on Earth did you do that Sage?"

"I wanted to have fun."

"This is not you Sage, you are better than that, you can't risk being taken away…we can't risk that."

"You didn't let me finish my song, it was just for him."

The guy sighed. "You are way too drunk Sage. I'll take you to my room I'm an expert on being drunk, I'll take care of you."

"I'm in love with someone you know, and we won't have any sexual intercourse."

The guy chuckled. "Only you drunk can still sound brainiac. But…you are in love?" he asked.

"Yes but he doesn't love me, he loves Rose."

"You are in love with Belikov? Shoot me now!"

"Who? The tall dhampir guy? No, of course not!"

"Who then?"

"It's a secret" I whispered.

"I won't tell anyone" he whispered back, as we resumed our walk down the corridor.

"Adrian.""

"Yes?"

"What?"

"Well you said 'Adrian' …" he sounded confused.

"Yes, I'm in love with Adrian."

"Adrian…Ivashkov?"

"How many Adrians' do you know?"

"Don't you recognize me Sage?"

"You are very pretty" I grinned. "But sorry I love him…as unrequited as it might be."

The guy opened a door and led me in. "Why don't you tell him?"

I snorted. "He wants something I can't give, and I want something I'm not sure he can ever give."

"And what is that?" He asked, helping me to sit on the bed before taking my shoes off.

"I want his heart and he wants Rose. I'm not her I can't be her…no matter how hard I try."

He helped me under the covers and tucked me in. "Maybe you should tell him what you feel, maybe that's what he wants to hear."

"But I'm not her" I whispered closing my eyes.

He kissed my forehead. "Maybe he thinks that you are more than he deserves." He whispered against my forehead before I fell into complete oblivion.

I woke up to the hard pounding in my head. I moved in the bed and opened my eyes to slits, the room was dark except for the small lamp in a corner.

It was like my brain was hurting, and my mouth felt as it was filled with cotton.

I groaned, what that my room?

"Sage?" I heard Adrian call from the other side, and it made me jump.

I looked at him; he was crouched on a small sofa. It had to be a torture for his tall frame.

"Adrian?"

He came toward me and rested his blissfully cold hand on my forehead. "How are you doing Sage? How is the head?"

"So painful" I whispered.

He chuckled. "Yeah…First hangover."

"And last…never again." I tried to sit in the bed but just trying to move made my head ache even more. Adrian gently helped me to sit up. "Where am I?"

"In my room," he replied, turning toward a small table.

"How did I end up in your room?"

"Don't you remember?"

I shook my head. "No, all I remember is seeing…something that upset me and then going to the bar."

"Here take that and drink the full glass." He put two white tablets in my hand and a glass full of a sparkly drink.

"It's Alka-Seltzer morning relief. It tastes like ass, but believe me it will make you feel better…I should know I'm a pro of hangovers."

I tried to laugh at that, but it made my stomach flip in a bad way. I took the two tablets and forced myself to drink the full glass.

"You're right it does taste like ass."

Adrian laughed sitting at the foot of the bed. "It will teach you not to try to imitate me.

Anyways, I went to get some clean clothes for you last night, I didn't want you to do the walk of shame this morning" he said cheekily making me blush.

"What did Jill say?" I asked, very self conscious

"Nothing, I told her you had some food poisoning and that you were staying in my room, no biggy."

"Thanks for helping me, Adrian. After everything that happened, you really didn't have to."

"I'm here for you Sage, angry or not." He smiled. "You kind of stink though. The bathroom is right here" he said, pointing to the door by the small table. "And if you want to feel better even sooner try to alternate cold and hot water while showering, it works for me." He added, helping me up.

I grabbed my clothes and walked to the bathroom. "Umm tell me something," I asked, turning around.

"Yes?"

"I didn't say anything stupid or humiliating last night right?"

Adrian shook his head with a small smile. "You can set your mind to rest Sage, nothing stupid nor humiliating escaped your mouth, I can even add that you are a smarty-pants even when you're drunk."

I let out a sigh of relief, getting in the bathroom.

Adrian trick of using hot and cold water was actually working very well, and at the end of the shower, I actually started to feel like my old self.

However, I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something big happened last night. I looked at myself in the mirror trying to remember what happened.

"Come on Sage, try to remember" I whispered to myself.

I replayed the night in my head, seeing Rose and Adrian on the balcony holding hands, me ordering a Long Island Ice tea…Rose coming to find me, then there was something with a Britney Spears song…Did I sing?

I remembered Rose arguing with a man…Belikov? No the guy helped me off of the stage, it had to be Adrian. Adrian stopped me from embarrassing myself.

I saw us walk down a corridor, him holding me tight against him.

I gasped putting my hand over my mouth. I told him! He knew I was in love with him.

"Sage? Are you alright?"

"I…." my eyes burned, filling up with tears. I couldn't believe I told him that and what hurt the most was how he pretended I didn't say anything. It was the incontestable proof that he didn't love me. "Yes I'm coming" I said voice breaking.

I let my hair hang so he wouldn't notice my red eyes, and even if he did, I could probably put that on account of the hangover.

"Well thanks again for everything Adrian." I said when I got out. "I feel better, really."

He smiled, and it seemed genuine. "I'm glad I could help you, at least I could put my destructive behavior at use for once."

I knew I should have just walked away and be grateful he was ready to forget what I said last night, but part of me was a masochist because I stopped just before reaching for the bedroom door, and turned around.

"Is everything alright?"

"Honestly Adrian, did I say anything last night?"

He shook his head. "No, nothing."

I sighed heavily. "I remember last night Adrian. Not everything, but bits and pieces, and I know." His pale skin was even paler. I gave him a small smile. "Thanks but you know it's not because I drunkenly laid my heart on the table that I expect anything from you. You can't force a heart to feel something it won't. I won't make you love me, and I won't even try." I locked eyes with him "Have you ever been in love?" I asked rhetorically. "It's really a first for me." I took a deep breath. "Horrible isn't it?" He nodded wearily, sitting on the armchair by the bed. "_It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." _I turned around, hand on the doorknob. "You don't owe me anything, I have nothing against you, it's my own fault…my own fault."

"I can't, I'm sorry" he whispered so low I barely heard him. "I won't survive it a second time around. I-"

"Bye Adrian" I whispered, opening the door.

I was very grateful with Adrian excuse of food poisoning as I also added a pretending cold because of the change of climate.

I managed to be left alone for a couple of days knowing that I would have to make an apparition at the Christmas Eve was the afternoon of the Christmas party I was in my bed with a good book when I heard a knock. I decided to ignore it, pretending to sleep.

"Sydney I know you're in here, and I sure like hell won't go away so you better open or believe me I'll destroy that door. You know I'm strong and crazy enough to do it" Rose shouted from behind the door.

I sighed getting out of bed; I knew she really was strong and crazy enough to try that.

"What is it Rose?"

"Why have you been hiding for the past few days?" She asked, walking in uninvited.

"And don't tell me you are sick because that won't work. You are hiding, and Adrian is mopping around, I'm not stupid."

"He doesn't love me Rose" I said, sitting on my bed. She knew the truth; I had told her in my stupid drunk experience.

Rose laughed. "You know he doesn't drink anymore?"

"I don't see how it is relevant here."

Rose smiled. "He is an idiot"

"Again….what's your point?"

"You are so intelligent, but also so stupid. He is changing because of you; you are making him a better man. You are succeeding where I failed, without even asking him to! Sydney believe me; even if he doesn't know it yet, he loves you more than he ever loved me. He is just scared; I hurt him but-"

"There is no point Rose really, it's better that way. I had been foolish; it was all a mistake, even if I wanted to….even if he wanted to. I am an alchemist, and honestly, the more I think about it…he was right."

"Syd I-" Rose rolled her eyes, "well if he was right and all this bullshit. Go talk to him because sad, suicidal puppy is not very fun to watch."

"I'll do that later."

"Well you know right now he is on the balcony looking at the sun set." Rose added staying on the bed.

"You won't move before I go, right?"

"See, you are intuitive again."

I sighed and went to the bathroom to change quickly in a pair of jeans and huge sweat shirt.

"Okay, lets go" I said to Rose, tightening my hair in a ponytail.

"I'll show you the way, because I know you are a chicken."

I grunted, but I didn't have a come back, she was so right.

As soon as I saw Adrian on the balcony, Rose coughed very loud. Adrian turned around and looked at me.

Rose patted my shoulder. "See you later." She said before leaving.

"Judas" I whispered, before joining Adrian on the balcony.

"She forced you to come out?" He asked, sitting back on the wooden bench.

"No, not really I was sick."

Adrian raised one eyebrow in incredulity, but I decided to ignore it. I turned toward the mountain pretending to look at the sun setting.

Adrian stood up, and came to stand beside me. "I missed you."

I turned toward him. "You missed me?" I asked, letting go of all my good resolutions.

"Oh Sage, I'm sorry for what I said it's just that-"

I saw something move behind him, and a sort of reflection. I guess you never really know how brave you can really be until you are faced with a really danger.

"Move!" I shouted to Adrian pushing him out of the way as hard as I could.

I heard a sound, like a shot and felt a sharp pain, and then I didn't feel anything. I started to sway, but Adrian caught me.

"Sage?" He helped me down. "Sage, look at me."

I tried to tell him that I was alright, but no sound came out.

"She has been shot! Somebody helps please!"

He kneeled beside me with a hand behind my neck, and the other one on my stomach. I felt a tingling sensation, the same than I felt when he had healed my face.

"It's not working; I'm not strong enough" He let out with so much despair I wanted to tell him it would be okay, but now my vision was blurry, and I realized how much I would miss seeing his face.

"Go and bring Lissa, she is dying, please! Save her!" He concentrated on me again. "Why did you do it? Why did you push me?" He let out a sob. "Syd please, please, stay with me. Do you hear me? I need you, I love you Sydney…Do you understand? I love you."

After that, everything turned to black.


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N**: I'm so sorry guys! It took me forever to post. It won't happen again.

Don't forget to review :)

Steffy2106

**Chapter 15:**

I was walking in a dark forrest, I didn't know where to go, I looked up to the sky, but it was just as dark, not a star to guide me.I walked a more or less straight line in the dark with my hands in front of me to make sure I would not be hitting a tree.

'Come back please' I heard a voice whisper.

I whirled around. "Is someone here?" I asked as cold sweat starting to get down my back.

'Sage please, let me in, let me bring you back.' I realized the voice was in my head, a voice that I knew perfectly, I voice I learned to love.

"Adrian? Help me, I'm lost." Everything was silent again. "Adrian!" I shouted louder. It was all quiet again.

I saw a rapid flash of light to my right, deeper in the woods. It was so fast I almost thought it was my imagination but I decided that direction was as good as any.

I walked for what seemed to be hours, but nothing was different, I was still in a Forrest and I was still dark.

I was just getting so tired. I was considering crawling by a trunk and just sleep there.

'Please Sage don't give up. I'm afraid I won't ever see your beautiful eyes again. Please let me know that you will stay. I know you are lost somewhere. Come back to me.'

"I'm trying!" I said walking even faster feeling comfort in his voice.

'Stay with me, whatever it takes…Don't let go. Give me a reason to hope Sydney.'

I saw another flash of light coming from in front of me, and there was that conviction deep in my soul that this was my way back to him, I still didn't really remembered how I ended there after being shot.

Shot? My hand automatically when to my stomach but I didn't have any wound. I frowned, I had been shot i knew I did, and I couldn't feel a thing.

Adrian kept whispering sporadically in my head, he kept asking me to let him in, and I had no idea what that meant…As far as I was concerned he was in, in my heart, in my head…everywhere.

I kept seeing the flashes of light too and as small as a hope they were I considered it was better than nothing.

The flashes of light were brighter and lasted longer, it was as I was finding my way…I would be home soon.

The last flash I saw was so blinding that I had to close my eyes.

When I opened my eyes after the flash I was not in a forest but in a bed and my throat was burning with thirst.

"Water" I croaked.

"Oh Sydney!" I heard Jill whimper.

"Jill?"

"Yes, yes it's me." She came to lean above me, and I couldn't help but to feel disappointed to see her instead of Adrian.

"Oh Sydney you scared us, we thought you were lost." She help me up slightly, and she gave me some water.

"How long was I out?" I asked as she helped me down again.

"Two days."

"Two days?" I was so surprised I actually sat on the bed.

Jill nodded. "Adrian didn't leave your side, not for a second but…"

I looked around. "Where is he?"

We finally convinced him to go get some food, he is going to be so mad he was not here.

"He won't be mad."

"He will, he wanted to be the first person you see when you wake up."

I shook my head doing my best to stand up, but I was so sore. "Why was I out so long?"

Jill came to help me. "We don't know. You were barely breathing when Lissa and Sonya healed you but then you simply didn't wake up. Adrian was crazy, shouting there was something they had to mess up somewhere, but it was not it…really. Sonya said you needed a time out."

"A time out for?"

Jill shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm so happy we have you back...Adrian, I don't think he would have survived you being killed."

I was about to reply that it was probably so silly guilt that got into him when she almost jumped on the spot startling me.

"Adrian!" She shouted.

"What?"

"I….he needs to know you are awake he will kill me otherwise."

"Jill I-"

I didn't have time to finish my sentence that she was already storming out of the room, cell phone in hand.

My heart started to pound louder and louder in my chest, I remembered the shot, I remembered what Adrian had said…did he really say that or was it my subconscious mind taking over.

I walked to the mirror and tried to put some order in my crazy hair, I gave up after a couple of minutes realizing that, there was nothing I could do.

When I turned around Adrian was standing, breathless, in the doorway, It was obvious he ran like crazy.

"Hi"

Adrian closed the door and continued to stare at my face.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked self-consciously removing a strand of hair from my face. "I must look terrible."

"No I…" he took a shaky breath. "I just thought I would never see you again, beautiful Sage." He shook his head. "Never ever do that again."

"What? Push you away? What other choice did I have? I didn't think, I just had to save you."

"I watched you die Sydney. You don't know what it's like, seeing the life being dragged out of someone you ….someone you love."

"Love?" I tried, unsure. I thought I heard him tell me that he loved me, but I thought I just wished so hard that my brain made me hear the words I wanted to hear.

Adrian sighed and came up to me, resting his hands on my face. "Yes, I fought, but I lost. You saw in me what I couldn't….what nobody else could see. Sydney don't leave me again, I almost lost you twice in a month I…" His eyes were glistering with tears.

"I won't leave you." As soon as the words escaped my mouth Adrian buried his face in my neck after a few seconds he started to shake slightly, and my neck got wet, he was crying.

I starting to stroke his hair lightly, which seemed to make him, cry even more.

"I'm staying, Adrian, it's your voice….you brought me back." I whispered as he tightened his hold around my waist.

He was really leaning into me so, when I kneeled on the floor, rocking him while he cried.

We stayed like that for a long time, "I love you" I finally whispered.

Adrian moved slowly to meet my eyes. "Next time you want to do anything that might cost your life remember that, remember that you love me and run away from danger."

I smile. "I promise."

Adrian nodded and kissed me softly. "I knew I loved you, I just…I just didn't realize how much I loved you, how much I needed you before I saw you fell…It felt as I was dying with you. I love you Sage."

"I know how you feel, I tried to deny it so much because…because it shouldn't have happened but…." I took a deep breath. "Did you find the shooter?" I asked, changing the subject.

He shook his head negatively, and I could see his jaw clench.

"No but we don't think it's the opposition to Lissa anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"You have been targeted and so have I…How important as we are, we have no impact on who is ruling the Moroi world."

"So who is after us?"

He closed his eyes running his hand in his messy hair. "I don't know yet, but I'll stay with you…I'll keep you safe."

"I don't mind…you staying close to me, I mean." I said, blushing beet red.

Adrian pulled me close. "I'm glad you think so."

I realized that I probably had a terrible breath and got out of his hold.

"I need a shower, you stay here, and I'll take care of you in a minute.

Adrian grinned. "How will you 'take care' of me?"

I flushed again but remained silent.

As soon as I got out of the bathroom after the shower my stomach growled loudly.

"Come on Sage" he said taking my hands, intertwining our fingers together. "There is a lot of food left from the Christmas dinner."

I looked down at our hands, I loved the sensation of his hand in mind but we couldn't…not in public.

I tried to let go of his hand, but he tighten his grip. "No Sage" he shook his head. "It's you and I now. After everything that happened, everything we said…You can't expect me to let go."

"Adrian…I don't want to let go either, but you know we're—"

"I know you are an alchemist and I'm a demon for the ones like you, I get that, and I wouldn't risk your world."

"No Adrian, that's not the way I meant it I—"

He shut me up with a quick kiss. "I know what you meant Sage and what I mean is that I won't force the decision out of you."

"What decision?"

He pulled on my hand. "Its midday, they are all sleeping, and the leftovers are in the kitchen. I might be borderline crazy, but I'm not insane."

I nodded, and Adrian took the direction of the kitchen hiding in corners pretending we were spy, and I loved seeing him playful, I loved it so much I played along.

"See I'm a new James bond he said once we reached the kitchen. 008 is my code."

"I think you are a very sexy James Bond" I said playfully.

"I'm glad you think so" he replied leaning in to kiss me.

"Yes…I'm glad too" said a deep, manly voice.

I could feel Adrian muscles tightened against me, but he still kissed me before slowly turning toward the voice.

"What are you doing here?" Adrian asked coolly still keeping my hand locked in his.

"It's nice to see you too son" said the man so coldly that it made me shiver. "I was looking for a…distraction" he said, and I noticed a blushing dhampir woman in a corner.

Adrian hand tightened painfully around mine. "Sydney, meet my father Nathan Ivashkov".

"Sydney? This is the young person who saved you." He let his eyes linger on our hands. "I know the motive behind it now. Well," he looked up to meet my eyes. "Thanks for saving his life."

"You are welcome." I replied trying to keep my voice from shaking and failing eyed me a minute before turning toward Adrian. "Really Adrian? After the troubled dhampir girl, you are getting with a human alchemist." He shook his head "I never thought I'd say that but I almost regret the previous one. What would your mother say?"

Adrian shrugged dismissively, but I knew better. "How would I know father? It's not like I had a lot of opportunities to see her since she has been locked away for perjury and major case of disgusting cougarism".

"This is not funny Adrian."

"I agree, it's everything BUT funny. It's funny how you dare judge me after all that though."

Adrian his father growled in warning.

"Adrian just let go" I whispered.

"Listen to the girl Adrian. She seems to have some instinct of preservation."

"Why? It's not as you can do anything."

His father eyes turned icy which made me shiver. "Son, you have no idea what I can do."

"At least I know who you can do" Adrian answered jerking his head toward the dhampir girl.

"I'll go now" said his father. "But you better not bring her home" he whispered when he reached us before walking out of the kitchen.

"Adrian?"

He pulled my hand to his lips. "You've got nothing to worry about, we're good Sage."

I nodded and forced a smile, but I knew then that we were not safe…and never would be. As much as Adrian and I wanted it, nobody would ever accept us.


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N**: HI guys!

I know it has been forever since I updated and really I have no excuses. I'm just terribly sorry, I'll try my best to update sooner, this chapter has not been proofread so please be gentle lol.

Thanks,

Steffy

**Chapter 15**:

When we got back to California, Adrian and I didn't officially show we were together as he would have been a blow to our cover. He was supposed to be my cousin after all and I didn't want for our relationship to become a big deal.

It was awkward to be sharing the living space with him since what happened between us in Switzerland. I had been raised in an over conventional household where living under the same roof than the person you were dating , without being married, was an immense sacrilege.

Those feelings were hard to shake but Adrian was very understanding….or at least he seemed to be.

'_We'll take it slow, you set the pace Sage, we've got all the time in the world' _ he had said probably seeing my discomfort to some of our intimate moment.

We had been back four days, and I was settling in our new pattern when someone knocked at my bedroom door.

"Come in"

"Hey Sydney there is someone here to see you" said Jill so formally and pale that I presumed it was nothing good.

I closed my history book and swirled on my chair. "Okay…"

She disappeared in the corridor before letting David in the room.

As soon as he got in, he closed the door and stood in front of it like he expected me to run away.

I was not used to have boys invading my private place and David was so massive that the room seemed to shrink to the size of a raisin.

He looked at me silently making me even more uncomfortable.

"HI" I said tentatively before standing up. "Were we due for a visit?" I asked perfectly knowing that the answer was no.

"I've heard you were involved in an accident with a Moroi." He said, detailing me from head to toe.

"What do you mean?" I asked warily. A lot of my recent actions, mostly voluntary, could be considered as 'accident' to their eyes…Accident or pure betrayal.

"You saved the life of one of the Queen close friends."

I shrugged, before pretending to put some order in my room. David had known me my whole life and even if we lost touch I knew he could read me.

"What did you want me to do? I didn't think, I just acted. It wouldn't have been Christian not to do something.

David stayed silent for so long I looked up and met his troubled eyes, it was almost exactly as he was looking at Marie Council session, when they decided to send her away.

"As long as you know where your loyalty stands."

"Of course I do! I'm an Alchemist."

He nodded. "I'm glad you remember that because you're done here."

"What do you mean I'm done here?" I asked, trying my best to contain my anger knowing it wouldn't help me a bit.

"Your assignment, you've been reassigned."

"I told you not to intervene" I replied, doing my best to keep my voice leveled.

"Well you are in danger with them" he shrugged and looked away at my Einstein poster. "They passed the law, the child vampire is not in danger anymore, and you can come home."

_Her name is Jill, not child vampire!_ I wanted to shout and it surprised myself. "We're not sure the danger came from the rebels….at least as far as I am concerned."

"It doesn't matter; you will be in security with me."

"You?"

"US, with us… alchemists."

"But—"

He sighed. "This is not a request Sydney, it's an order."

"Is this your doing?" I asked knowing I was flushing with anger now.

"Does it matter? The Council decided"

"When do I need to be back?"

"You need to report to the council in a maximum of ten days for your reassignment."

"I-"

"What?" He asked, challenging.

_I can't come back, I want to stay here, I love them….I love him. I don't want to demonize them anymore_. I thought all that, if I was braver that was what I would have said, but I continued to be the perfect little soldier that Adrian once reproached me to be. "Nothing, I'll be back within ten days."

David nodded approvingly. I could see the coldness of his eyes melt and he almost looked like the friend I had forever ago, when I loved him…..before he betrayed my sister.

"Anything else?"

He took a step back as If I had slapped him.

"I-no, I'll see you."

"Yes you will." I affirmed with a strong voice trying not so show how broken I was inside.

As soon as David left, I let myself fall heavily on my bed looking at my ceiling. After a little while, I became aware of a presence and I turned my head to see Adrian looking at me leaning on the door frame.

He was doing his best to look casual, but I knew better than that, he heard everything and he knew I didn't fight for us.

I met his emerald eyes but stayed silent.

"So you're leaving…." he said heavily.

I just looked at him not really knowing what to tell him.

He walked in, closed the door silently before coming to lie beside me.

"I'm sorry" I finally said not much louder than a whisper.

Adrian grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers before squeezing my hand.

I was glad he didn't say that it was okay because we both knew it wasn't okay. I had to chose between both world and when I stayed silent I had made my choice and I had chosen the Alchemists over Adrian.

"So we have ten days?"

"Yeah."

Adrian let go of my hand and jump up. "Pack a bag."

I looked up, aghast. He was sending me away? This idea hurt me more than anything I ever experienced before….Even when David turned his head when Marie had been taken away. "You...want me to go now?"

Adrian looked at me as if it was the stupidest thing he ever heard. "Of course not! We only have 10 days left and I want….I want to do with you things we might not have a chance to do again. Pack a bag, we're going somewhere. I have a few phone calls to make, but lets meet-" he looked down to his Louis Moinet Meteoris watch which I knew cost more than my parents house and the one of the neighbors . "Meet you in the living room in 30 minutes."

"Where are we going?"

He gave me his best cheeky smile. "That, little Alchemist, is for me to know and you to find out."

Fifty minutes later we were sitting in a Court private plane.

"We're going to Court?"

Adrian shook his head. "Nope, it's a loan. Relax Sage, you'll find out soon enough."

I smiled content. To be honest I didn't really care where we were going as long as we were together.

Adrian wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and I leaned on his shoulder skimming his cool throat with my nose.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep when Adrian woke me up with a soft nudge and kiss on top of my head.

"We're here?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

Adrian chuckled. "Yea we're about to land but I didn't want you to miss the view."

I looked out of the plane window, and saw lights everywhere; I took a sharp breath when I recognized one of the monuments. The coliseum! We were in Rome, the place I always dreamt to go.

"Rome? You took me to Rome?" I tried somehow scared it was a dream.

"This is a belated Christmas present Sydney, I love you."

"I Love you too" I replied kissing him with all my heart.


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N**: Hey guys,

I know you lost hope and I have no excuses so anyways ENJOY! And I promise it wont take as long to get next one.

**Chapter 16**:

While we drove from the airport, I had my face almost locked with the window trying to have a good look to the dark streets.

"Don't try so hard to see everything Sage, it's night…we have all the time we want to see Rome by day, by night, by dawn and dusk" Adrian said with a chuckle.

I quickly turned toward him and saw his wide smile, I grabbed his hand before turning toward the city again. "I…I just can't believe you took me to Rome." I said, and I could hear the awe in my own voice. "How long do we have?"

"As long as you want us to stay…..or until my father figures it out." He added more seriously.

"Did…Will it get you into trouble?" I asked, concentrating on him again. Rome has always been a dream of mine but it was not worth getting Adrian into trouble…nothing was.

Adrian laughed. "Come on Sage don't look so worried" he brought his hand to my face and lift the corner of my mouth into a smile. "I've been getting into trouble with my father ever since I could speak! Believe me it's a full time job."

"But.."

"But nothing" he said shutting me up with a quick kiss. "Please just enjoy it okay?"

I nodded. "Thank you, really Adrian…from the bottom of my heart."

He grinned, "Wait Sage….it's only the start."

The car stopped in front of the St Regis Grand Hotel just across from the Trevi fountain, I had never been to Rome but I loved the town so much that I studied everything, and it felt like I had been born here. I also knew perfectly well that this hotel was outrageously expensive.

"The St Regis?" I asked when Adrian took my hand pulling me in the lobby. "Don't you think it's a bit too much?"

He shook his head "Nothing is too much for you and lets face it I planned to burn the platinum card to the fullest."

"I don't need all that" I whispered as we stopped in front of the reception desk. "I like you just the way you are."

"Like?" He pouted.

"Love" I looked down it was still so hard for me to admit I loved him.

He sighed dreamily. "It's good to hear and I know you don't need all that but I want to give you everything."

Adrian had booked the presidential suite on the top floor, it was like an apartment with two bedrooms full of luxury.

When we finally settled in, I found Adrian on the balcony looking at the dawn.

I stood beside him. "I can't believe that yesterday I was in an apartment in California and that I'm standing right now in the heart of Rome watching the sunrise."

Adrian came to stand behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist before resting his chin on top of my head. "I wouldn't want to watch it with anyone else" he said tightening his hold so our bodies were almost one.

I couldn't help but let the idea that he would prefer to be with Rose right now and I hated myself for thinking that.

It was hard for me to keep my eyes open, but I didn't want to miss a minute with Adrian and Rome, I would have liked to stop time right now and live in this moment forever.

_When did I became so cheesy?_ It was not me…I didn't believe in romance and yet feeling Adrian soft heartbeat against my back made everything worthwhile.

I muffled a yawn making Adrian laughed and I realized that what I loved more than his heartbeat against my back, was feeling his chest rumble with laugher.

"Go to bed Sage, I have big plans for us tomorrow." He kissed the top of my head. "I'll be here….Well probably in there" he said pointing to his room "but not far."

I nodded giving him a quick peck and fell asleep before my head touched the pillow. I was awaken by Adrian bringing me a tray with food.

I blushed, having him in the room while I was in bed was making me uncomfortable, old habits died hard.

"I didn't want to wake you up but-"

"What time is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"Almost twelve."

"What?" I looked around, almost knocking down my tray. "I haven't sleep that long since….since forever."

"Don't worry." Adrian kissed my forehead. "Just eat and get ready; I have lots of plans for us today."

The day was fantastic and I knew that even with his cap and sunglasses, the sun was taking a toll on Adrian but he didn't complained…..not once. He listened to my boring lectures in every church we visited, he joked a couple of time telling me I was like Wikipedia but a lot sexier.

When we got back to the hotel, after dinner, I noticed how dark were the shadows under his eyes.

"Do you need to….you know" I said uncomfortably. The idea of feeding was still taboo for me.

Adrian smiled, seeing my discomfort and brushed my cheek gently with the back of his hand. "Why don't you go back to the room? I will find what I need here and I'll meet you in a bit."

"What do you mean by 'find'?" As much as I loved him I really didn't like the idea of him using a poor innocent person.

"This hotel has what I need they are used to my kind of clientele."

"Oooohhh" I realized what he meant, they probably had a couple of feeders on site. "I'll…I'll wait for you here, I'll check the hotel shops."

"Okay, lets meet here in 20 minutes" he said pointing to the leather sofa by the reception desk. "Here, if you want to buy yourself a little something" he said extending me a credit card. "The pin code is-"

"No!" I raised my hand to shush him. "No thanks."

"Why?" He asked completely puzzled.

"It makes me feel dirty like I'm a gold digger or something." I shook my head when I saw his mouth open. "Please just drop it Adrian, I know it's not rational it's just how I feel okay? You have to respect that."

He nodded. "See you in a bit."

I walked into the first shop that was selling a bit everything and stopped in front of a very scandalous and see-through lacy camisole with matching tiny thong. Just thinking about ever wearing that made me blush, and I knew that, in my family, it would have been seen as a sacrilege just to consider wearing it.

"Do you want to try it"" asked the sale assistant with a very strong Italian accent, running her hand on the camisole.

"I..what? No! I…no." My cheeks were burning.

The woman smile. "Are you sure? I think it would make your fiancé or husband very happy."

"You think?" I asked before being able to stop myself.

She nodded, "you have all the right curves to all the right places to wear it. I tell you what, if he doesn't fall on his knees praying the Madonna after seeing you in that I'll give you a refund, no question asked."

I reached for the camisole and ran my hand on it, I never even considered wearing something like that, especially not now…when I was not married but Adrian was Adrian, he meant the world to me.

I had been raised to believe that sex before marriage would be getting me a one way ticket to Hell, but I also knew that Adrian and I would never get married, there was too many things against us, too many rules and traditions. I was going to lose him sooner rather than later and there was that little voice in my head that kept repeating me that I would never love anyone as much as I loved him now.

I had been braved until now, I had broken all the rules, one more wouldn't make a big difference.

"I'll take it" I said getting my credit card out knowing that this little buy would max out my small balance.

"What did you buy?" asked Adrian curiously when I met him in the lobby.

I waved my hand dismissively. "Just a little present."

"Can I see?"

"Maybe later" I replied looking away.

Adrian chuckled, but didn't comment he simply took my hand. "Come on lets go."

When we made it back to the room, I gave him a good look. The shadow under his eyes were not so dark anymore but he still looked exhausted, the sun drained all his energy.

"You look tired"

He shrugged dismissively. "Not really, want to do something?"

He really wanted to entertained me, just thinking about how caring he was made my heart tighten in my chest. "I'm tired too actually" I lied. "Why Don't you go to bed and I'll come and tuck you in."

He laughed. "Nobody did that since I was like 4."

"Don't you want me too?" I felt foolish to even consider that for a grown man.

"I would love that, really."

I smiled. "I'll be right over."

I took my shower and looked at the bag containing the camisole….

_Should I_? but I chickened out like I knew I would and settled for my big and warm flannel PJ. _You're such a baby! _I chastised myself.

When I made it in Adrian's bedroom he was already asleep. I smiled looking at him sleep for a while, he looked so at peace and I knew I was part of the reason why.

"I'm sorry I didn't fight for us. I wish I wasn't scared all the time but….I am" I whispered. before kissing his forehead.

I woke up a few hours later. mouth dry. The spicy pizza I had for dinner was just too spicy. I tiptoed as quietly as I could in the main room and stopped seeing light coming from under Adrian's door.

"Come on Sage you can do it. You know you want to, you know you want him." I whispered retracting in my room, I quickly changed in the camisole and thong before I could chicken out again, I brushed my hair and slid in the hotel robe. I stopped to drink a glass of water before knocking at his door.

"Come in."

My heart was beating so fast I could hear it.

"Are you alright?" Asked Adrian sitting on the bed, startled. He has discarded his tee shirt during the night and was only wearing his boxers.

"Yeah…" I couldn't help but look at his perfectly sculpted chest. He was lean compared to David and yet a real work of art.

"Sydney?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"I didn't fight for us, we're doomed. I was not brave enough."

Adrian stayed silent for a second. "It's hard to turn your back to all you are, to everything you believe in."

I was glad he didn't say it was alright, or that he understood because it wasn't right and he couldn't understand, Adrian was fighting for us he would have gone against everything for us.

"I really love you, I might not show it how I should but I do"

"I know you do" he replied softly. "I love you too…..so much" he smiled. "And we'll figure something, I don't know what just yet but we will."

And right at this moment I was not scared anymore, he was right I just had to fight too. I would not go back to the alchemists, they couldn't force me.

I looked down before opening the robe and letting it slide on the floor. I was not looking at Adrian but I didn't miss his sharp intake of air.

I looked up, Adrian was frozen eyes like saucers.

"That's the present I bought it….it was for you."

When he didn't say anything, I started to feel very uncomfortable and bent down to retrieve the robe.

"Don't even think about it" he said with a voice so husky I barely recognized it. "You are magnificent."

"Really?"

Adrian stood up and came to stand in front of me. So close I could feel his body warmth.

"Now that I've seen you like that I don't want you to wear cloth again…ever."

I laughed. "I'm glad you like it. I want you to…..make love to me Adrian."

"Are you sure Sydney?" He asked resting his hands on my cheeks keeping his eyes locked with mine.

"Yes, I've never been more sure of anything in my life." And it was the last thing I managed to say before his lips crushed on mine hungrily.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: **I don't know what ti say i'm sorry i'm late for posting.

I hope you enjoy  
>Steffy.<strong><br>**

**Chapter 17**:

When I woke up, I was sore everywhere but it was a good sore….like when you ran so long that you can barely walk.

I could feel Adrian warmth again my body, and smiled my eyes still closed, snuggling closer. Adrian tighten his hold around me and kissed my forehead.

"Morning Sage….or should I say afternoon."

"Morning" I replied, finally looking up meeting his green eyes full of love. I was not sure I wouldn't regret it in the morning but no I didn't regret it…what I regretted was not giving us a try before.

He was a vampire, I was human…everything I always learned said we were not supposed to be together but last night we fit…We were perfect for each other.

"What do you want to do today?"

"Stay in bed with you."

Adrian laughed. "I knew I was a stud but really I never thought I could sidetrack Sydney Sage from Rome architecture.

I blushed. "I….don't you want to stay here with me?" I asked mortified to realize it was most likely not as good for him than it was for me.

"Are you kidding? If it was up to me we would never leave this bed again. It all make sense."

"What does?"

"You and I….here….now."

I frowned. "What do you mean?" I asked, as my stomach growled loudly.

Adrian chuckled, "let me go and order breakfast, I'll explain to you later." He jumped out of bed completely naked and walked casually to retrieve his robe apparently very comfortable with his nakedness.

When Adrian walked into the living room, I got out of bed and stared at myself in the mirror trying to see if I was different now but except for the light glow on my face and the light in my eyes nothing changed. I was happy really happy, for the first time in my life I was doing what I wanted without caring about the consequences and what people would think,

I smiled still looking at myself. Yes disobedience suited me.

"I saw a lot of you last night but I don't think I'll ever grow tired of it." Said Adrian from behind me. I met his eyes in the mirror battling the primal urge to hide my body. _Come on Sydney it's a bit late to be prude _I chastised myself letting my mind wander to last night, and Adrian's lips everywhere on my body.

We continued to stare at each other that way.

"Rose was right" He said voice thick.

This had the effect of a bucket of icy water being thrown at me. I knew he loved me, but I also knew that the goddess-like Rose had been the love of his life, I was really hurt by the idea of Adrian thinking of Rose while I was standing there completely naked and vulnerable.

I broke our eyes contact. reaching for his dressing shirt on the back of the chair. It was more like a dress for me stopping just above my knees. I could smell his woodsy manly scent on it and I had to do my best not to burry my face in the collar and inhale deeply.

"I'm just going to freshen up, let me know when breakfast is here."

"You really want to do that?" He asked blocking my way out, "because to be honest, it was like you were born to wear my shirts and knowing you are not wearing anything under it is very enticing."

I forced a smile but Adrian was not fooled as he frowned.

"Sage?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong? What did I do?"

I shook my head. "Nothing," I dodged under his arm. "I'll see you in a minute."

"Talk to me" I heard him say before closing the door of the bathroom behind me.

I met him in the main room for breakfast 15 minutes later. Adrian was freshly showered but he didn't shave, the little stubble gave him a rough and sexy edge.

Adrian eyed me carefully as I attacked my eggs. "It's because I mentioned Rose right?"

I looked up at him. I had two choices, lie or say the truth….I hated the idea of being insecure and yet I couldn't help it. "It sure didn't help."

He sighed. "You should know by now that I love you Sydney. Rose and I….Rose and I will never be together."

"I know you won't. She and Dimitri belong together" I admitted.

I saw Adrian jaw budge and realized I said something I shouldn't have.

"You think that is the only reason? Don't you think that I might have my say in all of this? Rose could come now and tell me she wanted to be with me I would refuse."

I smiled, I knew that deep down he believed that was true. "I know you believe that."

"Ah Sage, how can someone so smart be so clueless?"

I shrugged standing straight "I have no idea, it seems you are asking me that a lot."

"You know Rose cheated on me with Dimitri…Well I guess that's irrelevant because I think I always knew that once they would leave together all idea of me will be gone but it doesn't matter." He sighed. "I was not very gracious when we broke up," he grimaced. "You know I was a spoiled brat."

"No shit"

He laughed. "And I always got what I wanted so loosing Rose? Well it was as much a blow to my ego than to my heart. Rose had told me that I didn't love her, not really anyway, and that at the end it would make sense; that I would thank her for walking away and it's true… God it's so true."

"What is?"

"I loved her, I did…saying the contrary would be an insult to her, to me and even to you but the way I feel with you now? It run deeper, it's in my veins, in my lungs…Where I let her walk away I would have fought for you and where I fought stupidly to keep her I would let you walk away if its what you want, what you need…what you deserve. I know it will sound horrible what I'm about to say but I wouldn't change a thing. All the terrible things that happened, I wouldn't change a thing. I would do it all over again…the pain, the heartaches…Because it all lead me to you, I love you Sage."

I didn't know what to answer to that I was smart but Adrian has the gift with words, he was the artist after all.

"I love you too."

"That's why we're here" He grinned, flashing his fangs and I realized that where it disgusted me before it was probably the most beautiful smile for me now.

The next few days were just like a dream, passionate nights and busy days…I had almost forgotten that reality was expecting us somewhere in this world until Adrian made it rush back to me. Adrian was being the down to earth one and it was not a side of him I really enjoyed.

"When are we going back?" He asked one night while we were eating gelati on our way back to the hotel.

"What do you mean?" He reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. "Sage I heard your chat with the big bad alchemist. You were due back to your headquarter 10 days later."

"And?"

"It's in 3 days Sage."

I shrugged. "I'm not going back."

Adrian let out a sigh I never heard before. It seemed to be a mix of pain and resolve. "Yes you are."

I stopped dead on the spot, letting my gelato fall on the floor. I didn't think he could have hurt me more if he had punched me. I finally understood the real meaning of the saying '_Words can hurt worse and for longer than sticks and stones' "_I….I…You have enough?"

"How can you say that? I…." He growled. "You are infuriating! Of course I don't want you to go back! But I don't want you to chose me like that."

"Chose you like what? I want to be with you, I love you."

"But maybe you won't have to chose…If you run away now you know there is no turning back. I looked around you guys are a lot like the Amish."

I snorted. "What do you think? I will just tell my dad I love you he would say "oh okay fine go and be happy"? You don't know my father, you don't know the situation."

"No I don't" he admitted "because you never talk to me about it."

"I will have to chose it's the way it is, And it's fine I know I want you. They won't understand that! Hell, I barely understand it myself and I'm feeling it!"

"I still think you should go tell him, give him the opportunity to make the right choice."

I looked up at him, he was so serious it.

I nodded, reaching for his hand again. "Okay we'll do that."

"We? You want me to come?"

"Do you mind?"

"No, I want him to know….to realize."

"Realize what?"

"That I'm the man for you, that human or not…my heart is yours, that nobody will work as hard as I would to become the man you deserve, that I would spend every day of my life to make sure you will never regret choosing me."

My heart was beating so fast every time he was telling me how important I was to him.

"I don't think we'll have to wait long" I said to Adrian as soon as we walking in the hall of the hotel.

David was standing by the reception…._How did he find out I was there?_

Adrian stood tall and squared his shoulders, resting his and on the small of my back.

"David what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to escort you." He extended an envelop toward me.

I opened the envelop, and could feel Adrian getting closer to read over my shoulder. It was an official Council Order for an audition, an audition for '_suspicion of treasons' _

"Well see, we have to go anyways." I forced a smile, meeting his worried eyes. "I guess we'll be leaving Rome now."

"We'll come back" Adrian whispered. kissing my temple.

David hissed but remained silent.

"Sure," but I knew only too well what 'audition' meant….it meant 'trial without jury' Mary was taken away after an audition, taken away to never come back. I also knew who would be the judge and executioner ….Someone who will hate seeing me standing there with the man I love…Jared Sage.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN**: Hey guys! See I kept my promise I didn't wait forever to post and I made it much longer…Just so you know this chapter (as well as the others) have not been proofread.

Anyways I really hope you will enjoy it and please review :).

Steffy2106

**Chapter 18**:

We were on a Jet back to Virginia, and I had to admit that the Alchemist didn't spare any money to get me back. Usually alchemists were pretty austere, spending as little as possible, but I knew they were scared I would change my mind and run away and I knew well enough that if Jared Sage invested that much of the Council money, there would be hell to pay.

Adrian was sitting beside me, keeping my hand secured in his. David was sitting across from me and couldn't help to glance at our intertwined hands every once in a while but he stayed silent.

Adrian had just dozed off, resting his head on top of mine, when David finally acknowledged my existence.

"You know you can't let him come with you in the Council right? You'll be lucky if they let him in the building." David whispered.

"Oh they will let him in the room; I have the right to representation."

"What?" Said David, a bit too loudly. "You can't be serious!" He whispered with as much anger as a whisper could convey. "Your representative has to be a lawyer or a fellow alchemist."

"There is no rule on that. The process simply says we have the right to a representative."

"You know what is happening is serious right?" And his anger seemed to morph in something more….worry? I couldn't be sure.

"I know only too well what can happen here."

"Let me be your representative Syd please, I can help you….He can only make things worse."

"Oh yea like you help Marie?" I snorted. "No thanks."

"It's different!"

"How so?"

David looked at me silently for a minute.

"Because he didn't love her….but he loves you." Said Adrian, kissing the top of my head.

I should have realized that our little argument would wake Adrian up.

"Adrian you're being silly!"

"Stay out of my head or any other mojo you monsters are doing." David growled.

Adrian chuckled squeezing my hand. "I don't need my vampire 'mojo' to see that, it's written all over your face, I'm just glad that my Sage is so oblivious."

"David?" No it was impossible! David had been my friends forever; he was destined to be Mary's boyfriend. He never felt that way about me.

"What do you want me to say? You don't want to hear my answer to that Syd, you never did…..not really" He asked defensively. "Just let me defend you."

"I know which angle you are going to take…I know what you will risk and you know I can't accept that."

David had a humorless laugh." You didn't tell him did you?"

"David just shut up."

"Tell me what?"

"Did she tell you that she probably won't walk out of the headquarter a free woman? It doesn't matter if she wants out or not."

I could feel Adrian's eyes on me but I kept looking straight ahead, throwing David a murderous look.

"And it doesn't matter who you are…the sentence would be the same for you and even the monster queen couldn't have saved you. You need the alchemists as much as you hate to admit it. Going against one of our treaties would mean losing her throne and we both know she couldn't afford losing her crown just to save you."

"Save me from what?" Adrian asked and it was so easy to hear the cold edge of anger in his voice.

"Anyone who help or assist a full fledge alchemist in any act of treason or help them to break the rules should be sentence to the full extent of their crimes by our law."

"Which is?"

"Imprisonment or execution."

Adrian snorted. "Yea, like Sage would risk my life that way!"

David shook his head. "No she probably wouldn't, I know Sydney much better than she thinks I do."

"Yea you totally saw that coming" I said with as much venom as I could, showing him my hand that was intertwined with Adrian's' but he ignored that.

"She probably made a deal, contacted her friend Rose, asked her to convince your Queen to negotiate a bail for you, maybe some kind of probation. I'm pretty sure it was one of her condition to full rendition. You will most likely leave the compound, she will not."

Adrian snorted again. "Sage tell him he is way off."

"Yes Sage….Tell me I'm way off."

I sighed, resting silent doing my best to avoid Adrian's eyes.

Adrian jumped from his seat pulling me up with him. He rested my hands on my cheeks so I couldn't avoid his eyes anymore.

"Did you do that?" I was surprise he was not trying to use his compulsion on me, he was keeping his promise even in moments like this.

"I just couldn't let you go down with me." I whispered." You didn't know what you were getting into."

"But I'm the one who asked you to go to Rome."

"Yes but…" I rested my hands on his wrists." You didn't know the risks….I did. How could I let you share the blame for something I did?"

"Do you think it would have changed anything?"

I laughed. I knew the boy had no instinct of self-preservation. "Maybe not but it doesn't matter, You'll walk out a free man.

"Man…." grumbled David.

"And you won't" added Adrian .

"We don't know that. They will most likely just ask me to choose between them and you and if I chose you well I will not be able to come back." I forced a smile. "Amish remember."

"Or they will send you to rehabilitation center"

"David just…just shut up!" I snapped.

"What is the rehabilitation center?" Asked Adrian, directly to David.

David shrugged. "I never been there personally but I saw people come back….they were never the same again. I imagine it as being a giant lobotomy".

"Why are you doing this?" I cried out, turning toward him.

"You won't let me save you, but he might." He pointed to Adrian.

"You don't know if I need help. The member that will run the audition is my father!"

"Oh come on we both know Jared Sage! You know he would rather fry your brain than lost the face again as he did with your sister."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm down before sitting back down. "We'll see after the audition, if he take me in front of the full council I'll figure something."

Adrian shook his head. "I won't let you go back there, I'm taking you away."

"Don't be silly Adrian! If you were taking me away now you would probably end up in Jail for life and nobody could help you then."

"Like I care" he said taking the direction of the cockpit, I knew what he intended to do….Compel the pilot to take us somewhere else.

Adrian tried the door, "Could you please open?" He as calmly as possible, I always wanted to see a cockpit.

"I'm sorry sir I can't. I've been informed by the lady not to open, under any circumstances, until we landed."

Adrian threw me a dark look and I tried my best to pretend I was not affected by it. "You thought of everything."

I smiled. "I'm Sage…what did you expect?" I sighed. "I know you well." I patted the seat beside me. "Come here, we'll be landing in a few and I want to be with you."

Adrian sat and I rested my head on his shoulder trying my best to forget that David was staring at us. I skimmed his neck with my nose and I couldn't help but smile when he had a small shiver.

"Tell me it's not our last moments together." He whispered.

"Of course not" I was trying so hard to believe that.

As soon as we landed, there was three other alchemists waiting by the plane, based on they were wearing I knew they were keepers ….which was our equivalent of army.

_I see you are really scared I'll make a break for it._ I thought bitterly. "When is the audition?" I asked David.

"Now"

I grabbed Adrian's hand. "Whatever happens in this room do not use compulsion, don't even try to." I whispered with urgency. "Please you have to understand that I couldn't live with myself if anything were to happen to you. I have enough guilt to carry. Please, please Adrian I need you to promise me that if they ask you to walk away you would do it."

"No Sage-"

"Please!" I cried out my voice breaking on the last syllable.

"Fine…just remember that if I were to walk away it's not because of the little I love you but because of how much I do."

I nodded.

My father was waiting for us behind his big mahogany desk.

"Sydney" he acknowledge, ignoring Adrian.

"Father…."

"I thought you told me you would not disappoint me again."

I stood slightly straighter. "I'm only living my life."

My father finally locked eyes with Adrian. "I don't think you're welcome here."

"I have the right to choose my representative to the audition and he is who I chose."

"What are his qualifications?"

"I love him."

I saw the muscles of my father jaw budge. "These are not any qualifications."

"It is to me."

"Do you really think that challenging me now? Bring _it _here is the right move here, daughter of mine? You really chose the wrong way and place to rebel."

"Sir we're not doing anything wrong" Said Adrian taking a step toward my father's desk. "Sydney is very important to me, if you want us to make things officials we could get ma—"

"Do you know how much I hate your race? What you represent? DO you know what happened to her sister? What one of yours…Ivashkov did to her?"

"No"

"He made her believe he loved her, used her….made an addict of her and shared her with his friends! You are below everything."

Adrian turned to look at me to see if it was true I sighed and looked away.

"But I'm not him, its different here I love—"

"You, nothing! You may think you are different now but it won't last and-"

"How did you know?" I asked cutting him off. I knew it wasn't the right move but right now I didn't have much left to lose.

"What?"

"Where we were…what we were?"

"Sometimes even his people can recognize an abomination when they see one and they were nice enough to let me know before it went too far."

"Who?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It's irrelevant who."

"My father" Said Adrian so calmly it was scary. "It was him wasn't it?"

"Sometimes things seem just wrong to both side. Sometimes we just need to come to an agreement."

Adrian remained silent but the little twitch of his bottom lip along with the darkening of his eyes led me to think he was furious.

"Now Sydney, you know why you are here?"

"Because I decided not to follow your rules anymore? Because for once in my life I decided to do what felt right and not what you considered was right?"

"What if I offered you the choice?...Stay and be forgiven or walk away with him now….but if you were to do that, walk out of this door with him, you'll be dead to us, you will be forbidden to come back under any circumstances. You will be seen as worse than them as you would have willfully chosen their side over your own blood.

I saw Adrian tense.

"I would choose him" I said loud and clear. "Whatever the choices you are offering, it will always be him."

My father sighed and looked down to his papers for a minute. It was like he was torn, about to do something he dreaded and that was a first I never saw my father like that. I could see his sorrow. He looked up. "You are free to go" he gestured Adrian out. "Your Queen negotiated an agreement with the council. You have to leave now."

"What about Sage? I mean Sydney."

"Sydney knows perfectly what's going to happen doesn't she?"

David words replayed in my mind. '_Oh come on we both know Jared Sage! You know he would rather fry your brain then lost the face again as he did with your sister_.' " I won't get out of here."

"You'll be going to rehab for a while." He said gesturing on his left and I saw four guards approach. Two were taking Adrian direction, two were coming my way.

"No, no, no" starting Adrian and I could see the panic on his face. _Damn David and his warning!_ "You don't touch her!" He shouted and I saw his pupils dilate, I knew only too well what it meant. He was trying to compel them when I specifically asked him not to.

"Adrian, no!" I said standing in front of the guard. I knew it would take too much strength to compel five persons and then he will be sent to jail I knew that much. "You promised!"

"But they are going to break you!" He cried out as two guards caught his arms and two others caught mine.

"Take him out" shouted my father.

"Wait wait wait!" Said Adrian, fidgeting to get out of their grip, as they tried to pull him out. "I can make her like before."

My father gestured the guards to stop.

"I see you are reluctant to send her to camp." Said Adrian breathless from the effort.

"What other choice do I have? There is no turning back from what she did."

"What if I can make her forget everything? Forget I love her….forget she loves me. What if I returned her allegiance to before she came to California?"

I was just too surprise to even say anything. He wouldn't do that would it? He couldn't do that, he promised to never use his compulsion on me, he swore.

My father looked at Adrian with interest mixed with doubt.

"You can do that?"

Adrian nodded, avoiding my pleading eyes. "It's my vampire '_mojo_'" he said using David's wording. "You don't need to send her to rehab, I can fix her."

"But I don't need fixing" I snapped angrily.

They both ignored me. "Well if you can do that…..yes I promise, I swear she won't go to rehabilitation."

Adrian let out a sigh of relief before turning to me so quickly I didn't have the time to avoid his eyes. "Look at me Sage, don't let go of my eyes, you are frozen….frozen on the spot."

"Please no…you promised" I whispered so quietly that I was sure that only Adrian could here.

"You don't need to keep your hands on her." He said slowly walking toward me.

"Let her be" said my father.

Adrian came to stand in front of me molding my face in his hands. I could see his eyes glistering with tears and I knew it was the end of us, I knew what he was going to do.

"I won't forget you, you can do whatever you want." I kept my voice low.

Adrian gave me a broken smile; I never witnessed such a sad smile before. "I'm more powerful than you think Sage, but I will always love you….always and forever."

"You promised."

"I also promised to let you go if I had to and I can't let you be sent to camp and I know you couldn't live with the idea of me taking hopeless risks to get you out. It's the only way for you not to ache and me to try to survive."

"What about you? Adrian you can't just erased yourself from me."

"Just know that if I walk away from you now, erasing all we share it's not because I love you more than even word can describe. I wanted to marry you, I could see our little babies…I" His voice broke as he took in a shaking breath as I hopelessly begged him with my eyes.

I was all that with you I managed to say.

"You will forget everything that happened between us, you will forget ever being sent to California, meeting Jill...befriending me, loving me."

I couldn't help but nod as I felt my memories being erased slowly; it was like having a part of my soul forcefully taken out.

"You never went to Rome, in fact you hate me, you hate all of us after what happened to your sister you can't stand to be in the same room than any of us."

"Can you rekindle the feeling she had for David –"

"No," Adrian kept his eyes on me while talking to my father. "You are already making me die inside by making me do that. I can't push her into the arms of someone else. I'm not strong enough to do that."

My father grumbled something.

"You are tired now Sage, you are going to fall asleep and once you wake up every memory of me and everything that might have happened in California or anywhere else in the past few months will be gone" he kissed me softly. "Sleep now" he added the voice breaking and everything went black.


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N: **Hey guys! Here 19 and just so you know 20 will come soon as I'm already half way through it and it will be EXTRA long.

**Chapter 19**:

I woke up with a pounding headache and someone knocking at my door in rhythm.

"Just come in" I mumbled, pulling the bed cover over my head. I felt my bed switch as someone sat on the foot of my bed and squeezed my foot over the covers.

"Come on sleepy head, wake up. As much as I like the idea of you sleeping, we need to move." Said a deep manly voice that I couldn't believe was here, in my room

"David?" I asked moving out of reach. "What are you doing here?" I looked around, wondering if I was dreaming or what but no I was still in my boring safe room.

"What are you doing here…why are you here?" I whispered more for my benefit than his. Even thinking made my brain hurt. _What the hell did happen to me?_

David chuckled, looking away and it sound fake, so fake.

I frowned was paranoia a side effect of my brain malfunction? David had a lot of flaws I knew it first hand but he was honest.

"Trouble to remember yesterday?" He asked tentatively.

I rubbed my head and felt a tender spot. "What happened?"

David took a deep breath and stood a bit straighter like he was preparing for an argument of some sort.

"You drank a bit too much and hit your head pretty hard."

"I…drank?" I shook my head and the shooting pain reminded me that was a bad idea. "David….I don't drink."

He chuckled again and this time it sounded rich like it was before. "Yea and now I know why." He started to rub my leg through the cover.

"What do you think you're doing?" I slapped his hand away. "My brain might be hurting but I was not an idiot."

I saw hurt cross his face. "don't you remember anything?" I stayed silent. "Don't you remember that you are in love with me?"

I blushed furiously. "I-What? It's…I" I stuttered. I had loved David for as long as I remembered but the question was so unexpected. "Who told you that?" I asked out loud.

"You did….yesterday after I told you that I loved you."

"You told me you loved me?" I asked incredulous, hating myself for not remembering something like that. I have been dreaming of hearing these words for years….even after he betrayed Mary.

"How did that happen?"

He sighed. "Yesterday the council decided to send us both to Rome for two years mission."

"Rome?"

He smiled "I knew how much you want to go there but I also knew that being every day with you, sharing the same home….I wouldn't't be able to hide my feelings for you any longer and I thought it was only fair to tell you how I felt before you accepted or refused."

"Okay…." I trailed off trying to force my brain to remember.

"I came to see you I told you why I let Mary go, Mary and I….we never loved each other. She knew I loved you, I told her and she thought I was way too bigot to be with her, she kept telling me I was your perfect match but I had to wait years before telling you Sydney. I am older than you, quite older."

"You're only 24."

"And you are only 18..." he sighed.

"You forgave, if not understood, what I did and you told me you loved me too." He scoot higher on the bed, sitting as close as possible from my face. "I kissed you…I kissed those beautiful soft lips" he said gently brushing my bottom lip with his fingertips sending shivers down my spine. "I love you Sydney, love you more than anything." He bent down and gave me a chaste kiss.

I let him do it because I loved him….or at least I thought I did but this kiss, his lips against mine didn't feel right, it was not the explosion of feeling I thought it would be….Was I expecting too much?

"What about the drinking?" I asked avoiding to reciprocate the feelings, I was scared it would sound fake.

"We decided to celebrate and it seems you really can't handle alcohol….you were gone after two drinks."

"Do….do they know?"

"Know what?"

"About the drinking…about us."

"Well yes they do, and your father approves…" He beamed.

I forced a smile. "That's great."

David leaned for another kiss, but I pretended to look at the clock so his lips connected with my cheek. "So what's the plan today?"

"We are going on a real mission and the council think it would be good if you knew how to fight….not that you could defeat one of the vampire but maybe you could be ready enough to distract one and run away."

"Let me guess….you will train me?"

His grin widened, I didn't think I ever saw him smiled that much. "Well who would be more suitable than your boyfriend to be all close and personal?"

"Yeah…." I forced a smile.

David grin faltered slightly.

"I'm sorry it's just this headache…I think that a hot shower would help."

"And you also need to follow the Italy history class three times a week until our depart."

I nodded again getting out of bed. I knew everything there was to know about Italy, the history, architecture etc….but it was the other kind of history about the Moroi presence, their heads, the royal families present there, everything there was to know to be an efficient Alchemist in foreign territory.

"And you don't have to go in history class?"

"I've been preparing for this assignment for months." He stood up and walked to the door.

"Oh…but why are they sending me with you?"

David took a deep breath. "Because I asked them too. I love you and finally have you in my life….I couldn't bare the idea of losing you." He said before walking out without another word.

The next couple of weeks felt like I was having a strange dream, like I walked in the Twiligth zone and I didn't know how to get out of it. It seemed like everybody was walking on egg shells around me and I didn't know why.

During these weeks David taught me a lot if self-defense moves….not enough to actually kill a vampire like I saw Rose Hathaway do but it might be enough to take them by surprise.

"Okay lets do it once more" he said on Friday. standing behind me.

I sighed and I knew that my cheeks were crazy red and the gross feeling of sweat sticking everywhere on my body. I was a lot of things but I couldn't say I was physical….I was a brain and really it was all I liked to be.

"David….." I trailed off.

"Just once more."

I sighed but gave in.

David came to stand very close, I could feel his warm breath on my neck.

"What-" I started but stopped as his arms came around my waist slowly pulling me against his hard body.

"Sydney…you are driving me crazy" he whispered before kissing the nape of my neck before letting his lips go up and down my neck as a soft caress.

I shivered in a sort of disgust and I had no idea where it came from, I never expected to feel that with David but I just couldn't help it.

David clearly mistook my shiver for desire as he tightened his hold around my waist letting his lips wander to my ear lobe.

I wiggled out of his hold.

"What's wrong now?" He snapped with frustration.

I turned around, taken aback. "I…I'm all sticky David I just don't feel comfortable."

"You have been avoiding any kind of contact for the past weeks!" He said running his hand in his hair in frustration.

"No I-" I stopped knowing nothing could make it right.

"I thought you loved me."

"I do…." _Or at least I know I should do _I added for myself remembering all the time I wanted him and yet something changed and I had no idea what or why.

David looked at me silently for a minute. "Lets go out on a real date."

"A date?"

"Yes you know the thing that people do when they are in love."

"I know what a date is….what do you have in mind?"

"Tomorrow, it's Saturday let's go to the amusement park, get full of cotton candy and eat a caramel apple on the ferry wheel."

"Sure I'd love that." I said sincerely, maybe another setting will help me see things clearly.

He smiled and I saw his muscles relax, he extended his hand. "Come on, let me walk you home I need to talk to your father."

I took his hand and we walked home silently.

I went to take the shower as soon as got in.

"I'll see you tomorrow at 9."

I nodded, I took a quick shower but curiosity got the best of me, I wanted to know what David was telling my father…I didn't miss the look they were sometimes exchanging.

I went to my sister room and knelt under her desk before opening the vent that was directly under my father office. You couldn't hear a great deal but it was better than nothing.

"What do you mean it's not working?" Asked my father.

"She…she doesn't love me anymore…No matter how hard I try he is here, I can see it in her eyes, I can see _**HIM**_ in her eyes."

_Who? _I wondered. There was nobody else in my life.

"Try harder" my father snapped. "You wanted her you have her, won't you fight for her?"

"Maybe it was not a good idea to -"

"It was the only option" my father roar.

His shouting made me jump and bang my head loudly on the desk.

"Damn it!" I groaned and the voices downstairs stopped.

I rushed in my room holding my breath. They didn't make any sense. Who were they talking about? The more I tried to understand the stronger my headache was….like if there was a wall in my head that stopped me from figuring it out.

The next day there was an even bigger edge between David and I, he was lying to me and that was something I never expected from him.

I asked him for time and to take things slow. I could see he was hurt but he agreed.

"Would you lend me that book now?" He asked as we made it back home way earlier than I thought we would….a real failed date that was sure.

I spent the whole day diverting any conversation by talking about architecture.

"Sure! It's in my room."

David followed me upstairs before I had a chance to tell him to wait for me in the hall.

When I opened the door I took a step had and bumped into David's chest. There as a creature of the night in my room, sitting on my bed obviously waiting for me.


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N**: Hi guys! See as promised you get the next chapter early and I made it EXTRA long.

Disclaimer: I don't know VA or its characters as they belong to Richelle Mead.

P.S: By the way reading an ARC of Golden Lily right now and I LOVE it so much.

**Chapter 20**:

I couldn't believe that Rose Hathaway was sitting here, in my bedroom l;ike we were friends or something. I helped her escape a few months ago because I owed big to her father but I hadn't seen or spoke to her in months…

I turned around, panicking on what David might think seen Rose standing here, like she owned the place. This could just make me get me in rehab center.

David told me that he loved me that I could trust him and that it would not be like Mary and I really wanted to trust him, but there was something in me, like if a secret part of my brain told me to be wary.

"I thought they had an understanding with you." Said David coldly, looking straight at Rose.

She snorted. "Well it's not like I had anything to say in the deal you made." She crossed her arms on her chest in defiance.

They glared at each other, and I could hear that part of my brain scream, they were hiding something and I hated that.

Rose sighed letting go of David defiant glare, she was stepping down, that was so…not her. She rested her hand on a shoebox that was on my desk, I frowned that was not mine I knew it. "Listen I'm not here to start a war it's just….somebody kidnapped him and I believe Sydney is the only one who can help us."

"Who? Help you how? I don't want to get into this kind of trouble again" I shook my head.

"Adrian has been kidnapped Sydney"

"Adrian? Your boyfriend? Or Ex, no?"

"How can she be helpful, she doesn't remember him?"

I turned to look at David. Adrian was Rose ex boyfriend, I remembered him but I didn't know the impact I might have on him….I never even talked to him, but he was one of those disgusting creature of the night I knew that much.

"They are connected. If someone can access his mind, it's her."

David paled two shades. "Did they…." he trailed off.

"I'm not connected to anyone!" I shouted in exasperation, sitting on my bed I was starting to get motion sickness to look from one to the other.

Rose cocked an eyebrow with a small challenging smile. "Really alchemist what do you think?" She snorted. "But if you mean blood sharing no….non of that."

I grimaced as bile rose to my mouth….letting anyone bite you that was so vile.

"She loves him and he loves her, Lissa tried to get in but she is blocked, they are probably keeping him on a high fix of Moroi saliva….this is also a reason why Moroi don't share blood….too many enzymes can lock them in a crazy state."

"And you think Sydney can make it?"

"I'm sure there is a part of him that only belong to her, a part that only her can access…I'm pretty sure that, with Lissa's help she could access images that can help us find him."

"Pretty sure?" Asked David, "you want to ruin her whole life on a 'pretty sure'?"

"But I don't even know him! You are crazy, I won't go anywhere." I reached for my phone. "I'm calling security."

"Sydney please, please look in this box you have to trust me, you and Adrian are in love. You will remember…. I'll find a way to make you remember, just come with me. Lets leave before anyone notices I'm here."

I looked at David. He knew something, and as much as I knew something was wrong, I also knew that he would do what's for the best. "David?"

"You have to tell her the truth David, you know it might not be permanent and if he died if he ever died because of you she will never forgive you."

"But I love her…..I loved her all my life I—"

"Do you want a girl that is not really yours? Because even if she doesn't remember, deep down, she knows she loves another one."

David looked at me and I didn't think I ever saw him as broken before. He sighed closing his eyes. "You have to go Sydney." He said as the alarm started to blare.

_Intrusion suspected, unknown car parked in the forest behind the headquarter_. Said a robotic voice

"Shit!" Muttered Rose. "Adrian will be pissed he loved that car."

The word '_princess'_ came into the back of my mind but I had no idea why.

David took a deep shaky breath "I'll get you two out."

"Aren't you in lock down?" Asked Rose suspiciously, probably thought he was going to hand her to the security.

I couldn't be sure it was not his intention until he met my eyes and I saw resignation and sadness written all over his face like he was giving up, I just wasn't sure what he was giving up. I loved him….like I was supposed to, like I always did. I would be back…they will realize it was all a misunderstanding that I couldn't help their friend.

"I have the highest level of security clearance here. I can get out whenever I want…Lock-down or not." He pulled his car keys out of his jeans pocket. "Go to her sister room and wait there I will text Sydney as soon as I'm park under the window; She'll show you how to go down."

"But you can't go along with this! If I go now they won't forgive me! David…David its suicide."

He had a sad chuckle, "I'll lose you anyways Sydney, it's inevitable. You might not understand now but I rather lose you today and know I will still have a small spot in your heart than….than wait because when it will all come back to you and when you will realize I didn't push you to follow her" he said pointing to Rose "you will probably hate me until your last breath….and maybe even longer."

I looked at the box. "Let me at least see what is in it."

"You'll do it in the car" David said my window to get you out is very small.

Rose reached for the box and secured it under her arm. "Lets go."

I followed like a robot, Rose probably saw I was in a daze and took my phone. My last was over I was becoming a fugitive.

"Everything will be alright" she said barely louder than a whisper.

"I don't even know why I should follow you, why I should ruin everything for a vampire I don't even know."

She sighed. "You'll know soon enough, you'll know" she said tapping the box.

I didn't get a chance to add anything when my phoned beeped in Rose's hand.

"He is quick I have to give him that" she said opening the window, "Come on show me how we do that."

Less than ten minutes later we were a mile away from headquarter and David stopped the car. We all got out and he threw the keys to Rose.

"Why do you give me that?"

"You'll need a way to get back to wherever you're going…" He sighed. "Even when she remember keep her away from here, keep her safe. It's his car you left behind and she will be missing. They will probably think she got her memory back and…" he looked at me lovingly, making my chest ache. "And that she chose him over us again."

Rose chuckled. "Adrian has been looking through the laws and treaties for the last few weeks and he was pretty sure he found a solution. That's what helped him go on, he needed a way to get her back…" she smiled. "You didn't think he would let her go without a fight right? "

"He would have been a fool." Admitted David.

"Come on Sydney lets move."

I hesitated, Why should I trust her? And David, if he loved me why was he causing me so much trouble.

"You will understand when you look in the box."

My curiosity got the best of me and I rushed to the car as David caught my wrist.

"You'll remember, and when you do, know that I'm so sorry, more sorry than you think I can be. I…I didn't know he was going to do that."

"Who? What?"

"Come on Sydney we have to go now!" Said Rose already in the driver seat.

"What about you, your car?" I asked to David.

He gave me a sad smile. "Don't worry I'll figure something, just go."

I barely closed the door that Rose sped up.

"Now you can look in the box" she said not looking at me.

I reached for the box on the back seat. On top there was a CD which stated "Sage's Mix".

"Can I?" I asked Rose.

She nodded. The first song was 'You'll ask for me ' by Tyler Hilton.

I started to roam through the stack of photos and It felt like I was falling even deeper in the twilight zone. It was me in these pictures, and by the look of it, I was in Rome and wrapped up in the arms of that Moroi boy.

"It's me but…."

"But what?" Asked Rose, making me realized I was talking out loud.

"It doesn't look like me."

Rose quickly glanced at the picture in my hand. We were in front of the Rome Coliseum; the vampire had his arms tightly around me and rested his cheek on top of my head.

"I don't understand."

"I look different…happy—ier."

Rose chuckled. "Yeah well love does that to you. You just have the glow of someone crazy in love with a person that loves you back."

I grunted looking at the pictures again. There was one of me in a beautiful red dress and he was in a stunning tuxedo, I had to admit even with no memory of him that he was probably the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. I blushed as I couldn't believe I would wear such a dress and the necklace I was wearing….I was sure it cost as much as a year college tuition if not more.

There was a long flat box in the shoe box, I took it and the necklace was in it.

"Holy shit!"

Rose laughed. "Wow an Alchemist that swears? Isn't that a contradiction?"

"An oxymoron probably, yes. But…he bought me that?"

"He loves you, he only wants the best and prettiest things for you." Rose took a deep breath. "He would probably cover you with diamonds if you asked him to."

The song "_Never stop_" by safesuit started.

"Wow I knew our Adrian was a romantic but that mix really tops it all."

I blushed somehow pleased this was all for me.

The next picture made me gasp and I wanted to die with embarrassment. I was in a bed with bed hair…I had the white bed sheet wrapped around me but it was clear that I was naked under it, he was beside me the arm extended as he took the picture of us…I could see his bare chest as we both smiled goofily at the camera.

"Oh no….no, no, no."

"What?"

"I did that?" I showed her the picture.

She grinned "oh yea you so did! Took us two days to hear from you guys when you were in Rome…." She winked. "You both were in bedroom arrest."

I couldn't help traitor tears to fill up my eyes.

"Hey what's wrong?"

"What's…wrong? Everything!" I couldn't help but squeak. "I….this is not me! Well it is but….I don't do these things."

"What? Have sex? Or have sex with a creature of the night?"

"Both!" I touched the Lily on my cheek. "This go against all I believe in" I added in a whisper.

Rose sighed. "I can't wait to have the other Sydney back because I have to admit I didn't miss that bigot."

"You don't understand."

Rose took a deep breath. "I do…I do understand better than you think. This all seem so new to you, you don't recognize yourself. Adrian erased months from your memories…all this time where you built what you both had. What frustrates me is that I know how much you love him, Sydney you don't understand yet but everything you did please don't beat yourself up. It's all justified and meaningful….it's not cheap or dirty. Your love…it's just so powerful."

I nodded hoping deep in my heart she was right, that there was a real good reason for me throwing away everything I believed in, everything I grew up to be.

There was a notebook page folded in 4 in the box and I blushed furiously quickly putting it against my chest to hide it. A little smile played on Rose's lips subtly letting me know that she looked at it.

_Someone kills me now…._I moved the drawing from my chest tilting it slightly in a futile attempt to stop Rose from seeing it even if I knew she saw it already.

It was a drawing of me naked in front of a mirror. The details were breathtaking….down to the little birthmark low on my hip bone…Yeah he had a good look of that I was sure.

There was a little square box at the bottom that kept me frozen on the spot…my heartbeat was so crazy it felt like my heart would get out of my chest.

I opened It with shaking hand and as I expected there was a beautiful ring with an emerald surrounded by diamond.

I took the ring out and looked at it closer, it was perfect…inside there was an engraving that made me choke back tears. "_Love is patient, love is kind_" which was my favorite bible part from Corinthian 13:4. It was my best kept secret, how I hoped to have that love one day.

"We were engaged?"

"No"

"But…" I showed her the ring, "this is my quote."

"Yea, this is your ring."

"I….don't understand."

Rose sighed. "I'll show you when we will be there"

"Show me?"

She tapped her forehead "how could you do that?"

"I have my ways. Want to see that?"

I nodded.

A few miles before, Court Rose disposed of the car.

"Dimitri should be here in a few minutes" she said, looking up and down the road.

A black SUV stopped not more than 10 minutes later with a visibly furious Russian in the driver seat.

"Really Roza? That was the '_I'll be back in a bit' _you gave me TWO days ago."

Rose glanced at me before shrugging.

"I know I should look surprise but I'm not" he jerked his head for us to get in the car.

I sat at the back of the car, holding the shoe box tightly against my chest.

"Roza you did a lot of stupid things but that….You know the alchemists are furious, they think him and her ran away."

"She is the only one that will be able to access his mind. Lissa says he is locked in his head and I know, I _**KNOW**_ she can get in."

"No you _**HOPE**_ you can. You created such a mess Rose."

"Will Lissa be mad?"

He sighed and shook his head. "She thinks you know best but…" he quickly glanced behind him. "Do you even know what you agreed with? The consequences of running away…supposedly with Adrian."

I thought about the mix, the photos and the engagement ring. "I'm sure it's worth it. "

"I hope so….for your sake and his."

"We'll talk about it later" Said Dimitri to Rose as he parked the car.

"Sure….but I need to take Sydney to Lissa but later okay?"

Dimitri laughed. "I'm not mad and you will have to come to bed eventually."

Rose gave him a wicked grin. "I will know how to distract you."

Dimitri jaw got slack making Rose laugh.

He grunted. "See you later."

"Come on Sydney, it's that way."

Lissa held Rose in a tight hug. "That was stupid Rose really…"

Rose waived her hand at her. "I already heard that from the big Russian and will probably hear more tonight. We don't have time right now I'm not even sure Adrian will be attainable."

"Are you okay will all that?" Asked Lissa, taking a step toward me.

I took a step back. "I will be."

She sighed turning toward Rose again. "What's the plan?"

"First I need her to see one of my memory."

Lissa seemed confused.

"Just trust me."

Lissa gestured us to the table on the corner, as soon as we sat down she extended one hand toward Rose and one toward me.

"What are we…" I asked looking at her hand.

"She wants to show you something from her memory….It's the way, don't worry I'm just connecting you, I won't see anything."

I took a shaky breath and placed my damp hand in her.

I felt some weird ticklish sensations and closed my eyes, when I opened them again I knew I was seeing through Roses eyes.

_She was pacing up in front of the council room waiting for me and Adrian. Adrian got out of the council room with wet eyes, red cheeks….a real mess _

"_Adrian what…"_

"_It's done" his voice cracked. "Lets go."_

"_But…." Rose looked behind him to the close door. "Where is Sydney?"_

"_She'll, she'll be staying here." _

"_She chose them over you? Adrian there is no way she would do that!" _

"_They asked her to chose." He shook his head. "She chose me." _

_Rose was confused. "Choosing me was a mistake, they wouldn't have let her walk away and even if they did what if she ever regretted choosing me?"_

_Rose shook her head. "She loves you more than anything Adrian it's…"_

"_It's too late just…too late. He gave her a sad smile. But at least I met true love you know? The real thing. Yesterday I thought we were going to have it all. I was deeply in love and she loved me just as much…You know what she sang for me last night, just for the two of us? 'You' by Jane Krakowski and she said that it was like it has been written by her for me. She is the love of my life Rose….really I won't ever come back from this one and I don't want to." _

_Rose pulled him into a hug knowing words wouldn't help. As she pulled him she heard something fell on the floor. When she looked down she noticed the box._

"_Adrian were you…"_

"_I told you Rose, yesterday I really thought I had everything." _

"_Did…did you ask her?" Rose asked, looking at the ring. _

_He shook his head. "That was my plan for today….and you know what the worst part is?"_

"_I really don't."_

"_I'm pretty sure she would have said yes" he added with a sob. _

I was pulled out of her head.

"I'm sorry I caused him pain" I whispered eyes full of tears. "And I don't even remember him, I don't feel anything for him"

"It's ok, he'll give you your memories back and once we save him…it will be fine."

"What now?" asked Lissa.

"Now," said rose with a smile locking eyes with me. "Lets go and hack Adrian's mind."


	21. Chapter 21

A.N: I know guys I have no excuse, I presume that most of you probably gave up on that story and I can't blame you and I know this chapter is extra short but I'll get back into it it will be finished that much I can promise. :)

Steffy

Chapter 21:

"So how do I do that?" I asked, knowing that I would lose control of my own thoughts in a few minutes and I really hated that idea.

"You give me your hands, and you try to get in his mind, nobody knows him as much as you do." Lissa said extending one hand.

"But…" I looked at Rose in panic. "I don't remember him."

Rose sighed like if it was not the first time she heard this argument. "This is where I think Lissa is wrong. I think he will find solace in you, what made you special….unique."

Lissa seemed to ponder that for a few minutes." Everything else did fail so… that might work. What's your favorite place? Something that belongs just to you?"

I couldn't help but blush, this was not something I shared with people, and even the people I'd known forever didn't know, not Marie, not David…. How could you be sure he knows?"

Lissa looked at Rose for guidance.

Rose snorted. "We saw you two together; believe me the guy knows you inside out."

"I…" I pursed my lips, I was not sure I wanted to know what she meant by that. "Teatro dell'Opera di Roma….As far as I remember I only saw picture of it but one of my crazy dream is to sing there…I heard that the acoustic there is almost out of this world."

"Okay let's go there…I'll use my powers but you'll have to guide me." She grabbed my hands tightly and closed her eyes.

I could feel my skin prickle under her penetrating magic and I had to use all my self-control not to snatch my hands and keep them out of reach. The prickling sensation increased, and I could feel it go up my neck, on my face and even in my brain making me feel numb.

When I opened my eyes I was in the middle of the stage, all the seats were empty except for one person sitting in the third row, hidden in the shadow.

"I must me losing my touch…not your usual sexy outfit but I guess it will do. Come on, sing my heart. Only your beautiful voice can appease the darkness."

I looked down at my outfit I was wearing the same black pants and yellow button up shirt than I did in the reality.

"Adrian?" I tried, I was not sure it was him and this was both strange and sad. I was supposed to know that person inside out and yet that voice could be anyone's.

"Sing my heart" he repeated.

I squinted trying to see him. "I want to get you out of there, where are you?"

"I'm here with you….usually you are not so difficult, I need to ease the pain….I need to hear you sing how much you love me."

"Pain? Are they hurting you?" I asked not able to keep my voice from cracking. I might not remember him but knowing he was in pain made a part of me ache…A part I didn't know was there.

Adrian stood and walked to the stage; when our eyes locked, his smile faded. "Sage? You're the real Sage?"

I nodded feeling the urgency…I could feel that Lissa was getting tired, I didn't have much time left. "As far as I know….Where are you Adrian? Tell me, please!"

He narrowed his eyes, angry somehow. "How did you get back your memory? It's not right."

I sighed, "it doesn't matter how I did it. Just…just tell me where you are!"

"You are not supposed to be here…"he shook his head "this is not you! You don't remember me! This is him playing with my head again! I won't let you in old bat!"

I wanted to both scream and cry in frustration, nobody ever made me feel so strongly. "It's me! I'm not here for long please….please let me get you out of here."

"Tell me something…Something that only Sage knows….anything."

"I pretend I hate sugar and yet I cannot resist Cadbury eggs but I convinced myself that if nobody sees me it doesn't count." I could still see incertitude in his eyes, and decided to continue. "I'm ticklish only under my knees, I secretly enjoy listening to rap music especially when I'm angry … I think that—"I was stopped when he pulled me to him, my face buried onto his chest while he kissed the top of my head.

"I love you….I love you so much…I love you…I love you" he kept murmuring, like a prayer.

"I love you too" I said and it sounded so wrong but I knew somewhere locked in my head I did love him. "Where are you?"

He shook his head. "I'm not sure…I'll show you what I know."

"You'll show me?" He reached for my hand, and my head was overflowing with images: milestones, city names, people faces. "It doesn't make any sense! I…it doesn't make any sense!" I repeated with despair as he was started to fade.

"You'll find a way" he said with a small smile as I tried to stay in this moment but I opened my eyes. facing a drenched and visibly exhausted queen.

"I'm sorry" she said breathlessly. "I couldn't do it anymore." She was even paler than usual as if she was on the edge to pass out.

"It's ok….we'll figure it out, He showed me some things…." I closed my eyes, trying to replay the image one by one as slowly and accurately as possible." A milestone for route 287…a welcome sign for a city named… Dubois, the sign said-" I tried to concentrate even harder "Fremont County I believe and then there is forest and a big house, completely out of place in all this wilderness… Too big and luxury to be there." I opened my eyes looking at Lissa again "Is there a way for you to feel him or something?

Rose jumped from her seat "it's ok we're good…we'll figure something, we'll find him." She opened the laptop.

"I can sense him, but I need to a few miles away this is just…insane." She frowned. "I don't know why that name Fremont seems familiar"

"It's in Wyoming" Said Rose not looking up from her computer screen. "I mean seriously of all the places he could have been locked away, they picked Wyoming…the cattle region? Urgh I-"

"Focus for a second will you?" I snapped before even realize it.

She cocked an eyebrow, throwing me a cold glance. "I'll let that one slide because you're worried and because deep down you know you love him."

I opened my mouth to tell her that love or not a mission was a mission but Lissa shook her head ever so slightly and I knew that right now it was better for me to just shut it for a while.

"Wyoming… Fremont, luxury house…." Said Lissa looking away and I could almost see her thought fall into place. "Oh…Oh!" She jumped from her seat, flushed with excitation it was the most color I'd ever seen on a Moroi's face. "Get Eddie and Dimitri" she grinned "I know where Adrian is and I think I know who got him!"


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**: Disclaimer I don't own anything but I would still love a review :D

"You look terrible" Said Lissa after Rose left. "Are you feeling okay?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter, does it? I turned out to be useful, it should be all that matter to you."

She seemed taken aback by my coldness and answer, I could see hurt cross her face and I couldn't help the wave of guilt that rushed through me. She didn't do anything to anger me; she was not the enemy…not really anyways. Who knew; we were maybe even friends before Adrian wiped my memory.

"You matter to me" she said barely louder than a whisper. She took a deep breath. "I guess you are not used to magic, why don't you go and rest for a while" she said gesturing to a close door, "it will take a couple of hours to get everything ready….well I presume you want to come right?"

"Of course I do."

"You know, nobody will hold it against you in case you didn't want to -"

I'm coming. I said with my best professional voice.

She sighed again. "Fine, see you in a couple of hours"

I entered the room, and it took my breath away. It was one of the biggest private libraries I had ever seen! I would have loved to spend days in that room to look at these books. However, it was really not the time, and place and the big leather sofa on the corner looked very enticing right now.

I sat down, and closed my eyes as an headache started at the base on my skull, could the magic create any damage? Could my brain be affected? My brain was all I had, and I was not even sure that taking that foolish risk was worth it.

I closed my eyes for what I thought was a second but was startled awake by someone nudging me.

I jumped out of my seat, and looked around. A tall dhampir, with smiling grey eyes was standing just in front of the sofa. "It feels good to have you back" he said pulling me into a hug.

I stayed frozen, not hugging him back, trying to remember anything doing with him….the sad part was that I couldn't even remember his name.

He pushed me back keeping his hands on my shoulders. "Sydney?"

"Yes…."

"You have no idea of who I am, do you?"

I shook my head.

He sighed letting go of me. "I'm Eddie, Eddie Castille and we should hurry the plane will leave in less than 30 minutes."

I followed him out of the room, but the main room but it was empty.

"They are already on their way to the plane" he said as if he was answering my unspoken thoughts. "But we'll be much faster, nothing to worry about."

"Are we close? You and I?" I asked as he really seems to be able to '_hear_' my unspoken thoughts.

"I like to think that we are very good friends." He quickly glanced my way with a small smile. "We had our share of trouble to deal with; it sort of formed a bond you know."

"What did we go through?"

He shook his head. "Nice try but I can't tell you, let's wait and find Ivashkov, after that it will be fine."

"Do you think we will save him?" I asked as the plane came into view. It seemed like a simple question but I could feel a part of me, deep down, that was desperate for the answer.

Eddie stopped just before climbing in the plane, and turned toward me. "We have to; we just have to….We lost too much to let him go. And I know someone who would hate me forever if we didn't, someone who will never get over that…"

"Who?"

"You… "He replied, before getting in the plane.

"Are you sure it's him though?" Rose asked to Lissa as the plane cruised.

"For the twentieth time Rose yes, give me some credit! You never found Robert did you? And I know only person with a luxury house in the middle of Wyoming…."

"Victor Dashkov" added Dimitri.

"Yes! Rose whatever you say this cannot be a coincidence." Rose looked at me for a second as if I had my words to say here. She sighed and looked at Lissa again. "Okay and do you know the house well? I don't remember ever going there."

Lissa twisted her mouth in a grimace. "No I've been there once before I even started school, I don't remember anything."

"It's not a problem, we'll be there in broad daylight and I don't think they are that organized." Eddie added.

"They were organized enough to kidnap him" I said and when all the eyes connected on me I realized it was a mistake.

"He was not careful," replied Dimitri with his deep accented voice. "He had other things in his mind, he was focusing so much on his mission that he was easy to lure. Believe me Sydney, there was no challenge here."

"Is it because of me?"

"No, no it's not" Lissa rushed out before anybody could say anything else. "Adrian, was just being Adrian nothing to worry about."

"Yea don't worry Sydney" Said Christian, lifting his hands that were on fire. He locked eyes with me, and gave me his wicked smile. "We'll get your boy toy back."

I looked at them, three boys and two girls, without counting the 5 guardians sitting at the back of the plane, they were so determined so confident and a part of me ached to have lost the memories of them, they seemed to be a real family, a family I have been a part of.

When we landed, we took two cars but still stopped about a mile before the house.

"I can feel the pull Rose, he is here" Said Lissa, closing her eyes as we got out of the car. "There is….two spirit users in this house, one is Adrian but his signal is rather weak," she opened her eyes, and looked at me. "He is not in the best shape, you have to know that."

"As long as he is still breathing, I can figure something." I _will just need my memory back first to know how much I'm ready to sacrifice for him _I added to myself.

"We're going to circle the perimeter" said Dimitri to the guardians. "I'll go with Christian Rose and Lissa using the side entrance, Eddie will go with Sydney using the back door. You" he said pointing to a huge blond Viking looking guy "you'll come with us. You" he said pointing to the four other guardians "will split in two teams. One will take the front door to create a distraction and the other will circle the perimeters and don't let anybody escape are we clear?"

The general and almost synchronic 'YES" made me jump a little.

"It's going to be fine" Said Eddie, adjusting the listening devise in his ear. He squeezed my shoulder. "We'll save him."

We separated then and Eddie even if he was at least 7 inches taller than me and had about 60 pounds was much quieter as he walked.

"We have to wait for the signal" he whispered as the back door came into view.

We waited for what seemed to be forever, but it couldn't have been more than two minutes, just enough time for me to imagine all the scenarios, everything that could go wrong.

"Let's go!" Said Eddie, grabbing my hand pulling me toward the door that he kicked in one try. "We're in….Yea, ok I'll meet you there. Adrian is in the basement" he said, pulling me out of the kitchen.

"What will I be doing?" I asked breathless as I had to almost run to keep up with his giant strides.

"You take care of him, in whatever state he is now, you are the only one who can reach him."

"But—" I had no time to finish, as he pushed me against the wall before starting to fight two men guarding a wooden door.

Eddie has a small smile all along like he enjoyed kicking some ass.

"Go down, find him and meet us in the back" he said kicking the door to the basement. "They need me in front."

"Okay…." I answer to myself as Eddie was already gone.

I got down the stairs realizing that Eddie didn't even check the basement. For all I knew a guard could be standing there and I couldn't fight for the life of me.

But at the bottom of the stairs was only Adrian tied up in a chair, with his chin resting on his chest.

I rushed to him, lifting his head, my hands on his cheeks. "Adrian! Adrian it's me."

He let out a faint groaning sound.

"Open your eyes, we…we need to get out."

He opened one eyes, and this simple movement seemed extremely laborious. "Sage, you shouldn't be here." He let out with a raspy voice that broke my heart.

"We have to move."

"I can't"

"You can, Adrian you will!" On an impulse I kissed him, and when his lips connected with mine, it felt like a wall broke in my mind and all the memories that had been taken away came back. It was like being punched in the stomach…I was left breathless. "Oh Adrian I love you so much." I gave him butterfly kisses all over the face.

Adrian sighed with content. "Go Sage, they'll be back."

"I'm not going without you". I went behind him to untie his hands and when I came in front to untie his feet I noticed he was asleep again.

"Adrian come on…." I rubbed his cheek. "I can't carry you."

"Blood, I need blood…" he whispered, keeping his eyes closed.

I looked at his face again, and finally noticed how deep and dark were the circles under his eyes. How long did he go without blood? I turned toward the door when I heard shouting way too close from our location, we needed to move now.

Without even pondering it, I unbuttoned my shirt and exposed my neck before grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling his face to my neck. "Drink."

"No," he moved slightly "not you" I can't do that. Not after your sister and…"

I pulled his face to my neck again. "It's not the same, we have to if you don't we'll both die here because I won't leave you here….it's your call."

Adrian stayed silent, but after a couple of second I felt the sharp pain of his fangs piercing my skin, it faded quickly and was replaced by a sort of tingling feeling that went through my veins making me light headed. It was like we were getting even more linked together, much more intimate and right now nothing matters more than his lips on my burning skin.

Way too quickly he let go of me. "It's ok if you help me I'll be able to walk." He said much more clearly

I stood up, swaying a little bit but dong my best to hide it. Adrian wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I wrapped my arm around his waist.

We walked slowly up the stairs, and I couldn't contain my sigh of relief when we reached the back door and I saw Eddie standing there.

"It's fine they are all neutralized."

"Robert?" Asked Adrian leaning even more into me, the little strength my blood gave him was starting to fade fast.

"Out for now, We are good to go, Dimitri went for the car and call some guardians nearby." He extended his arm to take Adrian. "Sage you are bleeding! Let me help you."

"It's nothing "I said, tighteneing my hold on Adrian.

Eddie eyes widened with understanding "You—"

"We all have to do what you have to do." I meet his eyes. "Let's go."

Eddie didn't add anything and simply helped Adrian on the other side.

"I love you Sage, so much….Thanks for coming for me."

"I'll always come for you, Always." I replied meaning it with all my heart and soul.


	23. Chapter 23

**A.N**: Hey guys! I know you completely lost hope to see this story to be updated but here it goes and I have no excuse. Anyways I hope you enjoy.

One more chapter left and we're done.

**Chapter 23:**

When I woke up, I had an headache and it reminded me a lot of the time I had been extremely stupid and drank trying to forget my feelings for Adrian.

_Adrian!_ I thought as all the events of yesterday were flowing back to my mind. Him, so weak and vulnerable attached to the chair, getting my memory back, giving him my blood…the extreme tiredness that ensued.

I didn't even remember how we exactly made it back to court, all I remembered was being helped into a room and into a bed.

I probably had nightmares because the bed sheets were all tangled and the spot beside me was desperately empty.

What did I expect? Waking up in Adrian's arms was what I expected. My heart sank as I reached up to my bruised neck, did giving him m6 blood changed the way he once felt about me? I heard stories about Moroi opinion going down the toilet after a human or dhampir let him feed. Did Adrian feel the same?

I heard the door open softly and Adrian peeked inside. He was freshly showered and if it was not for the tired and strained look on his face it would be like nothing had happened.

When he realized I was awake, he walked tentatively in the bedroom, I had to do my best not to grimace….He seemed reluctant to be here, was he coming to break up with me?

"Hi?" I didn't mean for it to sound like a question.

"Hi?" He sat at the foot of the bed.

"I ummm…." I tried to put some order in my hair. "I'm not looking my best" I chuckled, trying to hide my discomfort while willing my heart to quiet down.

"You are always stunning Sage, you are and always will be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

I flushed as the dread in my heart started to ease.

I don't know what Adrian saw in my face but he patted the empty side. "I slept here you know."

"I…you did?" I asked, not able to stop the relieved smile to creep on my face.

He nodded. "Just….I….I wasn't sure you would like to see me in the morning."

"Why on earth wouldn't I want to see you?"

"Because of what you did to you" he whispered, looking down.

"Uh….Oh!" I nodded. "I won't deny that I'm a bit mad about it, it feels like you violated my right to make my own choices, my own mistakes but I understand why you did it. I would probably do anything to make sure you are safe."

"I'm not talking about taking away your memory Sage, I don't regret doing that as I never planned to keep it permanent. Being away from you, knowing you might be doing all kind of dirty with that David guy nearly killed me inside."

"I didn't do any dirty with David, part of me stopped me."

"Really?" He asked, his eyes shining with love.

I sat and reached for his hand, intertwining our fingers together. "But if it's not for tempering with my memory, why are you apologizing for?"

"For doing that to you" he replied fixing the spot on my neck where he had bitten me. "I never should have—I never should have taken your offer after everything your family has been through, after what your sister has been through I should have refused no matter what."

"We would have died if you had refused because I was not strong enough to carry you and I would have never left you alone there. Would you have rather we died?...Would you have rather _**I**_ died?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"So don't be obtuse! I'm supposed to be the bigot, remember? We did what we had to do in these circumstances just leave it to that."

He chuckled and lay on his side, facing me.

I layed back down and turned toward him.

He rested his hand on my cheek, and gently stroked my cheekbone with his thumb. "How did I get so lucky?"

I turned my face to kiss his palm. "It helps that you're hot." We stayed like that for a little while, staring in each other eyes, stroking each other's face as to memorize it again.

"We need to get moving" he finally said, clearly reluctant to let go.

"So…in how much trouble are we?" I asked after my shower while trying to tame my crazy hair

I could see Adrian looking at me in the mirror, but he remained silent.

I turned around. "Adrian? How…how bad is it?"

"Rose said you looked in the box…that you saw everything."

"I don't see how it is relevant right now I-"

"I promise it is very relevant."

"Yes I did."

"Did you see the—"

"The ring?" I nodded "Of course I did."

"Did you like the ring?"

"What's not to like?! It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen" he said, coming to stand in front of me. He took a deep breath and I could see all the sign of nervousness in his face. "Listen I know we're young, you are 19 and I'm 22 but-"

"Adrian—"

He shushed me with a quick peck. "Let me finish please. I might be 22 but I know, I know you are the one for me. I never suffered more than when I lost you….it was a pain so sharp and deep. I can't lose you again Sage….I just can't."

"You won't lose me" I let go of one of his hand, and cupped his cheek.

"Will you stay with me?" He asked, sounding like a child.

"For as long as I keep breathing and even after that if I have my say in it."

He got on one knee. "I won't pretend I'm perfect because we both know I'm far from it, but I'm working hard to become perfect for you. I love you…not only for you but for the man you see in me, the man that I want to become just for you…The man that your unwavering love make me become. You heard it all but you knew… you knew that I'm what you see and not what they say I am." He kissed the hand he was still holding. "I can tell you that I will fall short, I will get on your nerves, and I will make mistakes but I can also promise you that you will never find anyone who will work as hard as I will to try to become the man you deserve in your life, I will love you and cherish you with every fiber of my being." He reached in his pocket getting out the ring box from the shoe box. "Sydney…Will you marry me?"

It was true, we were young….so young it was unreasonable, our relationship was forbidden, making it official was an abomination…We couldn't be more different on everything, living completely different lives. These were all major reasons to refuse, the old logical Sydney wouldn't even consider the proposition thinking it was preposterous but instead I found myself saying "yes, of course I will marry you"

He put the ring on my finger and kissed me so hard and passionately that I felt like my head was spinning. "I love you, god you are everything I ever wanted" he whispered against my lips.

"And now I get to keep you." I sighed. "No but seriously, are we in much trouble?"

I chuckled, intertwining our fingers.

"So what now?" I insisted

"We need to go see Lissa and see what needs to be done."

Adrian led me to a small room and I was grateful to find coffee. I had barely drunk two sips when Lissa, Christian and an older man entered the room. Lissa looked both stressed and exhausted which was not to reassure me.

"Please take a seat" she said before sitting across from us. "Okay I don't think there is a nice way to say that…The alchemists think you are the one who kidnapped Sydney…well not kidnapped but…." She grimaced. "They gave us an ultimatum; we have to give you both to them."

"Do they know we're here?" Asked Adrian.

She shook her head. "No they don't, but they know you'll show up eventually." She took a deep breath. "We'll stand by you of course."

The older man behind Christian grumbled something but looked down when I met his eyes.

"What did they threaten to do?" Adrian asked, eerily calm

"Take away their….duties."

"You will lose your throne!" Adrian shouted

"If it's what it takes."

Adrian shook his head. "No Lissa that's….no! I know what you have to do, I always known."

"And what would that be?"

He shrugged dismissively. "Disavow me."

"Are you fucking shitting us?!" Asked Christian, almost falling from his seat.

"What….What does that mean?" I asked, looking at him.

"It means that he will lose his title, his money, all our support. Sort of like an Amish."

"Adrian come on! You can't do that!" I turned toward him

"Do you love me for any of those reasons?"

"No of course not."

"Would you have refused to marry me knowing all that?"

"I don't love you for all that Adrian, I love you in spite of all that."

"Would you like to see a war and Lissa lose her throne?"

I looked at Lissa. "No of course not, I truly believe she is good for your people and I knew when I decided to be with you that I would lose my family."

"Are you afraid you will regret it?" He asked worry clear in his voice.

I smiled. "No not for a minute but you might."

He scoffed. "Never, my name and position is worthless without you." He reached for my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine before turning toward Lissa. "It's settled then, disavow us but we need one last favor."

"Okay…."

"I found the priest to marry us, it is the only weak point in the alchemists' rules. What god units no human can break but this priest is in Scotland and we'll have to take an actual commercial plane, you need to keep them off our tracks for at least 12 hours, is that possible?"

"Yes but….let's say it'll work the way you want, what will happen then? How are you going to deal…financially?"

"The apartment is in my name, the car too and I have some savings. My fiancée is a freaking genius, she'll get a full ride for college as for me….i'll work part time."

"Me too"

Adrian kissed my hand. "We'll be fine-"

"As long as we are together."

"You are finishing each other sentences? Urgh I feel like puking right now." Christian groaned.

"James, please ask the Alchemists to come here to expose me the grievance and see if I decide to support them or not." Said Lissa to the older man behind us, he nodded and left.

"It should give you about 24 hours, Dimitri will drive you to the airport now." She pulled Adrian into a bear hug and extended her hand toward me. "You are going to be alone now, both of you…No family, no friends…nothing. Take care of each other."

Lissa reached for the phone on the table while Adrian turned toward me resting his hands on my cheeks. "It's okay with you Sage right? You don't mind becoming my wife now?"

"No I don't mind, I'm just scared for you, you will still be Moroi and you will not have any protection."

"We'll lay low and the apartment is very safe and…" he laughed "to be honest I really don't care." He kissed me softly. "As long as I'm with you I'll be okay."

"Your belonging are already in the car, Dimitri is already in the car park. You should leave fast."

I finally relaxed in our flight to Edinburgh and this is when it hit me. "I'll be your wife in a few hours."

He smiled. "I know I can't believe what a lucky bastard I am."

Once we made it to Edinburgh, Adrian rented a car and we drove for three hour until we reached a small village

The priest met us in front of the church. "I am ready when you are….Would you like to change?"

I looked down at my clothes, and even if I hated to admit it I imagined my wedding as being a bit more….Glamorous.

"Is there a place when we could shower and change quickly? I want to be presentable to marry the love of my life" I knew he was doing that more for me than himself.

"The Smithson's will be pleased to help you out" he said, pointing to a house. "They are like you, Moroi and human couple."

The Smithsons were very nice people. The man was Moroi and lent Adrian a suit. The wife, Moira, took me in the guest bedroom. I took a quick shower, and almost cried with happiness when I walked into the bedroom and saw a beautiful white dress on the bed.

"Do you want me to do your hair?" Asked Moira, after knocking softly.

"Is this yours?"

She nodded, "it might not be the most beautiful dress but it brought me luck. I married my John 25 year ago, and we love each other as much as day one."

"Thank you so much. I….Thank you."

Moira made me sit, and curled my hair. "Your man looks very dashing too, if you want my opinion."

"My man is the most beautiful inside and out."

Moira chuckled. "I'm sure he is perfect for you."

"Would you—would you be my witness?" I asked, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

She smiled broadly. "Of course little bird."

John knocked at the door. "We're going to the church, the young one is very impatient to marry his soul mate, you need you to hurry."

She laughed. "We'll meet you there in 5 minutes."

"Your dress is beautiful Moira" I said, looking at myself in the mirror once I was ready. "Thank you for lending it to me."

She opened the door and reached for my hand. "You are welcome; you are giving it a second life."

When I walked into the church, Adrian took my breath away. He was stunning in his black suit, and if I could trust the look in his face he thought just the same.

"God Sage, you are a vision of heaven" he said, reaching for my hand as I came to stand in front of the priest.

Thirty minutes later we were married and standing in Moira and John's guest room.

"I'm sorry Mrs Ivashkov it's not really the marriage that I wanted to offer you and our honeymoon will be on a plane back to California."

"I didn't want anything more Adrian" I said looking at him. "The wedding is not important, the person you are marrying is."

Adrian came behind me, and started to untie my dress, kissing my neck softly. "So what now "he whispered in my neck as my dress fell on the floor.

I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Now? Well now you make love to your wife and then we go back home and start building our life together."

He grinned, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I like that plan" he said before kissing me with all the love and passion we both felt.

We might be alone now but I knew that we would be okay that our love would conquer it all.


	24. Epilogue

**AN**: I keep receiving emails of people asking me to finish this story. I guess I didn't give you closure eh? Well you have been heard….So here is a small epilogue.

**Nine years later: **

I was so proud watching Sidney my wife walking the stage to take the microphone. She was officially becoming a doctor today and graduating top of her class… Not that I had any doubt.

"Mom is so pretty" Whispered Duncan, our five years old son.

I pulled him to my knees for him, I just loved having him in my arms. Sidney and Duncan were my life, the most precious things I ever had. I never thought god loved me that much but he gave me them. When our boy was born my heart filled with so much love that I thought it might burst, I never imagined myself as a father but now I couldn't imagine myself any other way. I was a father, the father of Sidney's child….This perfect human being had wanted a child with me and he turned out even more perfect than I could have imagined.

Sydney looked down to us from the stage, and I was sure she could see all the pride and love in our eyes. She winked to us before starting her speech.

She was talking about the adversities in life how nothing came easy….I held Duncan tighter, our life has not been easy….It has been days we thought we would not make it, that our love might not be worth it after all. We had been banished for each side with no contact with our families. Sidney had always wanted to be a doctor and I had always been a good for nothing. I had wanted her to become what she wanted to be, she had sacrificed way enough for me already and letting her give up on that one last dream would have been just too much to bear.

I sold princess as soon as we were home from our wedding. I took a part time job as she did and we started saving. Someday we were so overworked and tired we just wanted to quit.

But Sydney kept saying "we never said it would be, we only said it would be worth it" and I had to admit that sometimes, in some dark corner of my mind I wondered if it really was but then Duncan came along and there was no place for doubt anymore it was all meant to be.

I have been an Art teacher at the community college for the past 6 years and I loved it. Who would have thought that me; Adrian Ivashkov would ever love teaching? We sold the fancy apartment we had a couple of years ago and bought a little house in the stubborn with some money to spare.

I looked around and thanks to my Moroi vision I could scan the faces hoping to see her…hoping that my emailed changed things.

When Sydney and I got married and we came back to LA there was hell to pay. They couldn't do anything about our union but everything else could have happened. Sydney has been destituted of her Alchemist title, her tattoo was turned inefficient and she was forbidden to come in contact from anybody from the alchemist world under ANY circumstances.

The same happened to me, I was not recognized as Moroi anymore, I was stripped of my title, money, name and protection and I couldn't have any contact with anybody from the Moroi, Dhampir community.

I wouldn't say it hadn't been hard on me because it has, but it was not the money or titled that I missed the most, it was my friend….even the stupid Russian warlord I missed sometimes but I knew being cut off from her family….of her sister has been excruciating for Sydney especially when Duncan was born, she would have need her mother help but we managed, did it on our own.

I always thought the saying "Love can conquer all" was just the cheesiest most stupid things but seeing what her and I have been through. We had been broke, overworked, underfed, sleep deprived and yet here we were at her med school graduation and I was pretty sure that I loved her more today more than I did on our wedding day.

I was still looking at the back when a refection stopped me I smiled brightly seeing the golden lily tattoo. I don't think I had ever been happier to see an alchemist in my life…Well Sydney excluded.

Sydney had been forbidden to ever communicate with her family just as I was forbidden to communicate with mine but they never said that I couldn't communicate with _**her**_ family. So, just before graduation I sent her sister an email using an old email address Sydney had in one of her notebook. I knew it was a long shot, her sister might have change address or she would maybe simply delete the mail but I wrote it anyways. I told her about our life, about Duncal and Sydney upcoming graduation hoping that she might write a note or maybe even come and here she was! Her sister Zoe was there and she stood proud looking at her big sister becoming a doctor. I smiled turning back to look at Sydney again and kissed the top of Duncan head….it was a step in the right direction…maybe one day things would be different and we would all be a family again.

But for now it was Sydney, Duncan and I and as far as I was concerned it was all I would ever need to live a happy life.


End file.
